This is probably better suited for the PO board, but I thought some of you gents might get a kick out of this too. I really had to share with someone because this is, by far, the strangest e-mail exchange ever between a client and myself. I haven't been contacted by this guy before, so this was his first e-mail, and the rest were all within an hour and a half of the first one. I normally don't reply to one-liners on the first e-mail, but I knew it was going to be good entertainment based on what he said.

Him:Interested?

Me:In what?

Him:An hour with me.
Him:No??
Him:Just looked up your profile. Couldn't find you.
Him:Still can't. Good luck to you.
Him:Want $500 as a donation or not.
Him:Not interested? I understand.
Him:So $500 doesn't mean anything?
Him:Final offer.
Him:Nvm. Not my type.

Me:Are you high?? Have you ever booked an escort before?

Him:Yeah, I'm coked up. Goodbye.
Him:Not one on this fucked up site.
Him:Trying to spend $1000 and no one cares. I hate this site.
Him:And no, I'm not high, I don't do drugs. Just looking for an hour with a special woman. I'm not married so just wanting to have a little fun. Sorry you couldn't fill my needs.

Me:What site?

Him:GFE. Not sure which you are. Been on several.
Him:Interested??
Him:No???
Him:I understand. These sites suck. And I know most of you are fake. Was just hoping you were one of a thousand.

Meear [Name withheld]
I don't think I've heard of GFE.
When you see an ad of a lady you like, look to see if her ad has special instructions on booking an appointment, such as filling out a screening form on her website or sending an email.
As with any business transaction, you write more than a one-liner (pro-tip: most ladies delete one-line emails). You want to state your business, sell yourself, state expectations then conclude. "Hi, my name is [insert name here], and I'm interested in making an appointment with you. What information do you need from me? You can reach me by email. Thanks." This is the standard business letter.
Some ladies even state on their website what you need to do to make an appointment. For example, ALL of my ads say to fill out the screening form on the contact page of my website to make an appointment.
And, as with any time you are wanting companionship, be polite, realize we providers have lives and may not respond immediately, know that we are leery of requests that appear to come from someone incapable of functioning in polite society.
Hope this helps.
Thanks,

 
Him:Either way I would had figured you would tell me where you were. Reason I don't believe in this site. Bye
Him:It would be better if you spoke English.
Him:I'll make this easy.....you want to meet???
Himon't know what I need to do to meet you. I'm tired of this GFE site. I'd rather.......won't say what I think.
Him:Obvious you are a tease as well. That's cool, I can handle it. But don't ever contact me when you need financial gain. I won't be there. I need you when I would I would like to be with you.
Him:I've emailed you way too much. And you haven't replied wanting $1000. Done with you. Obviously your one of the test. Bye
Him:You're not even from America. So screw you.
Him:For what it's worth, she will be here in a few minutes. Could have been you

Me: Right on, have fun.

Him: You're a big woman. Not interested.

Me: You're so observant! I am a big woman. Good job! Want a sticker? Funny, you seemed interested when you e-mailed me in the first place.  It's no wonder you're having such a hard time seeing escorts. You are completely socially inept.

Him: I'll take this in observance of the others. Thanks.

-- Modified on 3/26/2016 10:25:04 PM