and I'm pleased to see that if follows my experience closely, i. e. tremendous over-excitement at the beginning, the elusive search for the Holy Grail, a tapering off, and finally more relaxed and also more satisfying times with an old favorite or two, based on a less frenetic desire to savor, rather than run the table. What Yeats referred to in a different context, "the coming of wisdom with time," a great short poem.
I wanted to get perspectives from some of the older posters here who have been hobbying over 10 years. I started hobbying almost 4 years ago and I thought it was fantastic for first year or so. I still enjoy some sessions but I must admit that the luster has faded hard and fast.
Some of that is due to the few amazing sessions i have had. Some women were simply amazing and I miss them when they're gone. Many which never return. Then, the "average" sessions feel simply flat.
And now I know that even when I find that gem, it will be very temporary.
My question for the veterans is this: What keeps you going in this hobby after so many years?
To qualify my inquiry, I'm in my late 30's and I feel like it's becoming more of a force of habit rather than adding quality to my life. It's sort of replaced my reliance on porn. (much more damn expensive)
Sounds like your burned out. It take a lot of effort to sneak around and have to always be watching your back to make sure your SO does not find out. When you think about the amount of time you spend on the hobby you could have got another degree, certification, and/or started up a company.
Good points, and a break might be a good idea.
The danger is what type of addiction to the hobby do you have? The real danger is if you go down the rabbit hole like an addict looking for a new high. You might try some dangerous stuff (like a B'more streetwalker and going to her abandoned house 'spot' - I've seen guys do it for the rush"
"Moderation in ALL things." (One of the ultimate life truths---and it ESPECIALLY applies in this area!!)
Now it would have been so kind of him to quantify us moderation
Damn philosophers !!! 
My fellow vets have highlighted the salient points. I can't add much more other than a few "Amens" as follows:
Yes, as you participate in this for awhile it can become a mundane experience. Like with all things, "it" can become routine, predictable, and un-fulfilling. Wait, are we talking about marriage?!?! LOL. Hence, when it becomes having sessions only because you can......pull back, take a break, save some money. Cause, during one period in my career I would have sessions for the sake of seeking that ultimate session....."wow, that session was so nice I know the next one will be even better!" Not necessarily so. After a period of this I was lighter in the wallet and realized I coulda got the same feeling from jerking off. Now, I may go a month or two with out scheduling a session. And there are periods where I will have a session at least twice a week; or I find that new ATF and we go on a sexual exploration for a period of time. I follow the ebbs and flows of my sexual cycle. And yes I have learned that I do have a sexual cycle. With that said, I do have those moments where I simply need to scratch that itch and schedule accordingly. IT seems like every time I have to work late and I'm leaving the office at midnight or later I get that itch and need a fuck and run session. Go Figure. But for the most part these type of fuck and run sessions are few and far between.
Now that I'm more experienced and in my 50's.....all and/or the majority of my sessions MUST have a level of connection and vibe during the time spent. If the provider is too detached, distant, etc then I don't book. I even ended a session once as it was clear during that 5 - 10 mins after you walk through the door that the session was going to be a simple fuck and run. The lady had zero personality and was all business. She didn't even try to act the part.
You may have read some of the previous threads regarding "Chemistry." Well that's where I'm at now in my hobby career.
You do want to be very aware to NOT let the hobby turn into a force of habit. When you do this you're just wasting money and opening yourself up to chasing the elusive higher high and end up falling off the cliff. And, if you have a SO doing it habitually will make you careless and exponentially increase your chances of getting busted. Even getting busted by LE as you will be less careful.
And I like the point one of the vets made regarding time spent. The hobby can be a time hog. Hell, to do this right and learn the ropes of the hobby properly can earn you a degree in P4P. In my early days the hunt for the right session and knocking on the incall door of a new provider for the first time was 70% of the rush and "feel good." Hell, the actual session was icing on the cake.
So yes grasshopper, take a break, given you're in your 30's see if you can scare up some civie pussy to your liking. That drama filled world and the many BSC ladies you'll come across will definitely reignite your passion for the hobby and its many fine providers.
I am 13 yrs into hobby. Started at 21, and going strong. 10 yrs on TER and enjoying every bit.
Yes its expensive, and there was time when I used to make less than half the money than I make today. But I prioritized my finances in such a way, so as to find enough money to enjoy the adventures.
Couple of things keep me going.
I don't do it as an addiction. Sometimes I will see different women back to back, sometimes not anyone for a few weeks.
Don't try to re-create an old experience with a new provider. Try to create a new one with the provider that you are with at the time.
As far as flatness in the session goes, the hobby was never meant to be a replacement for a BF/GF relationship where there are true, intense love/feelings for one another. The whole GFE thing, for the most part, is built around an experience, that the providers strive to provide to us. Hence the word "experience", which is what most people end up overlooking from time to time. If you want more intense emotions, you will really have to go through 100s of providers to find a gem like that. Or you can just go and get yourself a girl friend.
I budget a certain amount of money each year for hobby enjoyment--and I stick to that amount. NO EXCEPTIONS!! It's like anything else--there's always the potential for excess whether it be women, food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping--(many people get addicted to buying things they don't really need--designer clothes, fancy cars, jewelry etc)--I can go on and on. And the real danger is getting to the point where you're not even fully aware of the expenditures adding up---you just keep going on autopilot and completely lose sight of the situation. IMHO fiscal discipline is one of the best traits to develop-- nothing like the peace of mind in knowing that you're living OK and meeting your obligations yet allowing yourself enjoyable pleasures from time to time. And you don't have to be a millionaire---you can partake in this hobby with a more modest income if you're smart about it!!
Bottom line: I suppose moderation, discipline, and balance are all intertwined. If you have these 3 things your life will be a lot happier!!
-- Modified on 9/15/2014 10:52:48 AM
But then it becomes a chicken before the egg question. If I never experienced what I did, would I know what I know!?!?!
Hmmmmmm
frequently than a few years & being MUCH less inclined to try out new (to me) ladies. I've found several with whom I know I have excellent compatibility and I tend to see them whenever they're in town & I can schedule a convenient time. I guess at first it was all pretty much amazing & I was thrilled at the incredible high quality of providers with whom I could have exciting intimacy (kid in a candy store excitement!); now I guess I've learned what I like & am mostly satisfied just fine with repeat sessions with reliable providers where I know just what to expect. When I infrequently try someone new, no matter how careful my research into whether or not they're likely to mesh with me, I'm frequently unimpressed if not outright disappointed. Maybe my standards are too high!
Some of that is due to the few amazing sessions i have had. Some women were simply amazing and I miss them when they're gone. Many which never return. Then, the "average" sessions feel simply flat.
And now I know that even when I find that gem, it will be very temporary.
My question for the veterans is this: What keeps you going in this hobby after so many years?
To qualify my inquiry, I'm in my late 30's and I feel like it's becoming more of a force of habit rather than adding quality to my life. It's sort of replaced my reliance on porn. (much more damn expensive)
To keep things fresh, it is always good to take some periodic time off. Just a few months away from the hobby and renew your desire to be a part of it again.
Also, switch up the type of ladies that you tend to see occassionally. If you usually see very young girls, see a couple of ladies in the late 30's or 40's. The experience will be very different, and may keep it fresh for you.
and I'm pleased to see that if follows my experience closely, i. e. tremendous over-excitement at the beginning, the elusive search for the Holy Grail, a tapering off, and finally more relaxed and also more satisfying times with an old favorite or two, based on a less frenetic desire to savor, rather than run the table. What Yeats referred to in a different context, "the coming of wisdom with time," a great short poem.