In your mind, does it seem disrespectful to call escorts whores, hos, trannies, etc... Does it bother you if you knew that when you called your favorite ATF and she hung up the phone and told her friend "now I have to see this trick".
Personally, I don't like referring to my boys as tricks, but I know some girls use the term like it's nothing. I know some guys use derogatory sex worker terms like it's nothing. Does the way you address the person only matter when you're behind closed doors with them? Personally, the whole "Dude, I pay her to leave" attitude kind of irks me. No darlin'. You paid her to come over. You paid her to make you cum 3 times in an hour. You paid her because she's skilled in the blowjob department. You paid her because she agrees to be a stress free, no strings attached, simple pleasure for you. Yes, we all know the reality of the hobby. But is it really necessary for us to be disrespectful to each other within the community when the entire world already views us as a scourge on society? Is there no place where we can all feel respected? Guys are dirty deviants because they 'have to' pay for sex, and the ladies are dirty hos because they sell their bodies for money. We're all in the same category here. No need for anyone to get all butthurt. Just curious. Whit-- Modified on 7/7/2014 12:28:41 PM
I have a fairly high level of respect for the ladies that I spend time with. Therefore, I only refer to them as Ladies. We talk about our time together as being "dates".
I know there are several men here (not all, but more than a couple), who do not overly respect the ladies that they spend time with. Therefore, it is not a stretch for them to call a lady they do not respect a ho or hooker. On the flip side, I have run into providers (I will not call them ladies), who have a sort of contempt for the men who men who come to see them. Thus, it would not be a stretch for them to use derogatory names for the men.
It would be great if we could all stop using these names for each other, but I think we’re all going to have to start respecting each other more before that can happen. Along with that, we all need to learn to respect ourselves. Just because society says that what we do here is wrong does not mean that it is. In my opinion this is just one more thing that the open minded people are ahead of the rest of society. In many circles sex is always going to be taboo. I am just glad that we have all found a outlet to explore our sexuality in a healthy manner. Now we just need to respect each other so that this can stay a healthy environment
This forum especially has helped me meet many wonderful ladies, most of whom I never would have had a chance to get to know. And it's been great.
It's complicated because you want to be able to experience that fantasy without disrupting the rest of your life, or the life of the lady. But I consider these experiences rare pleasures, and have nothing but respect for the ladies who can do this.
People come to this hobby with varied perspective and attitudes. That goes for the ladies as well as the gents.
Some of the most decent and compassionate people I know are Providers.
Some of the most despicable and narrow minded people I know are very sucessful individuals in culturally respected professions.
Even a high volume lady might only F 5 or 6 guys a day.
A CEO of a financial institution Fs millions to get that bonus.
And we all know the auto industry makes profit based decisions that literally and knowingly cause innocent deaths.
Observing this board for a number of years has convinced me that a lot of guys out there like sex but despise women. I think many blame the ladies for creating their uncontrolable urges. Kinda began with Adam. His first response when caught eating forbidden fruit was to blame the bitch !
Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of ruthless , unstable and downright scary women in this biz.
God knows I've met a few...lol. But that is not cause to demean and become derogatory in attitude or language.
-- Modified on 7/7/2014 10:59:11 AM
Workplace sensitivity training may be, let us say, out of place on a board like this? No amount of carefully worded and well intended explanations will change the behavior of people who wish to offend, or who have no wish to offend but don't know better.
Better, I think, to develop a thick skin, ignore it, or see the humor or pathos in it. But to think you can change it -- or get mad about it -- well, there are better ways to spend your time and energy, no?
Now, if this is behavior coming from a client -- well, you know how to handle that.
It does remind me of an anecdote -- most likely a true one -- about the great Nell Gwyn. Her coachman was fighting with another man who had called her a whore. She broke up the fight, saying, "I AM a whore. Find something else to fight about."
She was also an actress, the mistress to a king, and the founder of a hospital, but she never lost her sense of humor about herself.
It's the profession and it comes with this. People will hurt you if you allow them to, my dear
What Rod doesn't understand is, those of us who occasionally use terms he thinks are derogatory only do so if we know they are acceptable to the lady. It's done either in jest or because it works in the heat of the moment.
I have called one of a my favorite girls a "Slut" in jest and she loved it. When Rod objected she even schooled him to mind his business. The other posters Rod has trouble with are complete gentlemen when actually with a woman. I've seen it first hand and know it to be so.
On the flip side, we have no problem referring to ourselves as whoremongers and pigs.
It's all in good fun, something I don't think Rod knows how to have.
as long as the lady treats me with respect while I'm with her, I wouldn't really care what name she referred to me as to others (though I always just assumed it was simply "stud" ;o)
So much of what goes on on the boards is just bluster I'd guess. Aren't the vast majority of guys and gals respectful on dates?
Thick skin is oh so important in life, otherwise you just spend too much time worrying about things you don't control (and ultimately giving power to those who may throw barbs your way).
And that goes for the way you communicate as well. IMHO Name calling and disrespecting others is a sign of weakness and insecurity in person or even more so when it's behind the back of the person you're talking about.
....me as ladies and gentlemen.
Gentlemen I visit with are called friends, or gentlemen callers. Our time together is called a date; not a session.
It truly is all about respect. I would never call a gentleman a client, or john. On the other hand, I would never call a lady a prostitute, provider, or whore; whether they work the street, BP, etc. Yes, we do "provide" a service, but gentlemen could be called providers as well; they provide the cash!
Must run, as I have a date with a delightful gentleman!
Hugs and Kisses,
Kelly
I can understand the desire not to offend people for the sake of offending, but calling the things the way they are keeps things in perspective. You can call me John, because I am a John. I will not get one bit offended. Doesn't demean me one bit. I don't find it necessary to sugarcoat shit for the sake of sugarcoating (its a DC thing I understand) or because I am ashamed of it. For the record, I am NOT ashamed of paying women for sex. Those who are can hide in the bushes and watch...
@Kelly - I think your fake hugs and kisses are more irritating than words like hooker/whore/slut that get thrown around here.. Go look in the mirror and keep hugging yourself all day long... And why can't we call each other John and hooker/provider/prostitute and still be friends
which come to think of it, they did tonight.
It still remains to be seen if they lose any ground to the Braves who are currently in extra innings.
but yes, I find PC fakeness much more offensive than a little locker room humor.
I am a shallow, whore mongering pig, with slanty eyes and a big mouth, who also answers to manwhore, asshole, and chink, providing it's said with a smile.
It really is a sign on the times when the PC Police start trying to run anonymous fuckboards designed for hookers and johns to have open and frank discussions.
I was telling someone that expect the Battle of the Beltways (as the Nats and O's games are called) to end up in 2-2 tie. That's how they have been going for last few yrs now.
Curly keeps it real lol, but he's a nice dude - he makes a good point though, call me whatever you want behind my back, but I would like to hope that you don't go all Opie and Anthony on me, once the business transaction is done , to my face lol
@Kelly - I think your fake hugs and kisses are more irritating than words like hooker/whore/slut that get thrown around here.. Go look in the mirror and keep hugging yourself all day long... And why can't we call each other John and hooker/provider/prostitute and still be friends?
Different strokes for different folks - whose to say her stated opinion doesn't truly match-up with what she really thinks?
And I may indeed be a john, trick, client - but heck, I'm also a decent guy who can be properly labeled as a gentleman too!
her posts.. Not her, as a person. I am sure she is a fine person. I was just referring to posts, or her online persona...if you will...
People are all over the map in this profession/hobby as well as in this discussion. Many are very high quality, others less so. Having known Kelly for a long time, I can testify that she is definitely among the former. No games and no affectations. If you are a gentleman looking for an excellent GFE with mutual respect, then someone like Kelly is perfect. If you're looking for something at the other end of the spectrum, then move on. Different strokes, etc.
BTW, I was the "delightful gentlemen" to whom she had to run. It was a most excellent date (not a session). Highly recommended.
-- Modified on 7/8/2014 4:33:22 AM
but fortunately common sense always seems to rule, and those "people" are outvoted, usually by a landslide.
The overwhelming majority of the members here like it this way, which is why it is the most successful site of it's kind in the world. Eventually I hope the PC police will figure this out, and if their sensibilities are so easily offended on a site devoted to hookers and johns they could always consider starting their own, more PC site. This one seems to be doing just fine without the PC Police censoring every post that offends them.
No one here is being the PC Police. Asking people's opinions about being addressed with respect is really what I was getting at. You call it a fuck board. That's not exactly the way the site tries to market or present itself though is it? TER trying to represent the industry with a little class and a lot of educational information.
Maybe I'm missing the mark here but it seems most of the people here, as represented by everyone replying to this thread, like the respect going both ways. Unfortunately, disrespectful people tend to have the loudest mouths so that's what gets seen often, which is what inspired my initial post.
No one is trying to take your right to call women whores. You're allowed to carry on. I was curious about how many people, if any, thought it was ridiculous and that a HOBBY BOARD such as this could actually be a place for fellow fringe of society deviants could discuss the hobby without judgement either way. I know... crazy, huh.
It sounds like you're offended more by someone telling you you're not in the majority with this respect within the hobby community than we are by the high school mean spirited disrespectful name calling.
I've been reading the DC board for a while now, and in general, everyone is very respectful of each other.
No disrespect intended toward you 
Cheers.
I've always been a guy who loves ladies, and they love me back for the most part (lol)- even in hobbying, I try to connect and get a sense of personality- to me, the term "provider" works, although I had never heard it prior to TER- I think the term is a catch all- they provide companionship, intimacy, or whatever other intangibles fall into place - I've never been a dude to put down or malign women, but that's just because I was raised to cherish and respect them- call me a white knight, or whatever
Whitney - sounds like you have been with too many asshole men that don't appreciate women properly. You need the Boy Friend Experience from a man that appreciates and values women, especially those in this hobby. PM sent.
This is more about what I see on the boards and among civilians. My boys are pretty damn amazing.
Cheers my friend.
Good to know the gentlemen you see are treating you with the dignity and respect you deserve.
As for the boards, anonymity breeds disrespect and assholes. Pay the blowhards no attention.
I have no problem telling a client-friend if I don't like something, no problem at all.
There are things that get said on the boards I don't like one bit. I've learned that many times the board persona isn't really what someone is like off the boards. But there are some who posts ensure that I'd never want to spend time with them.
Some take it WAY too seriously what's said on the boards when they focus one the words not the context.
I'm a lady who chooses to do this "thing" we do here. We all have things that push our buttons. What pushes mine might not push someone else's. On these forums you'll see and hear it all. The GDB is a kind of free for all. I respect your post completely and sometimes things I read make me cringe.
Whether people like it or not, I don't refer to anyone here as a trick or john, not do I respond positively to being called a whore. But I'm not going to think ill of peeps that call someone else something in jest.
Thanks for your post, it was thought provoking.
Steph
without the exquisite horror of their reality." - Edgar Allen Poe
We all choose who we are going to be in life. Our language and behaviors reflect our perception of the people (including ourselves) and the world around us. Some fall prey to the trap of believing that their perception is the "truth" or "the way things are". It is not so. Do not let these individuals convince you that you are anyone or anything other than what you choose to be. Deny them your reality, and give them no power. Do not expect them to adopt your perception, and seek no power over their reality.
This is true respect