I have a few thoughts on this subject. Providers needs to be careful about their social media content. Your site, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or other accounts may conflict. One provider had a link to an Amazon wishlist that had her real name on it. Another Tweeted a link to her personal Instagram account with her name on it. One even accidentally emailed me with her personal account that had her real name. Being a gentleman, I said that the secret was safe with me seeing how she knew mine. I personally told the first two providers about what I - a complete amateur - found out with little difficulty. They heeded my advice.
Worst of all are modeling pictures. If you use them on your website, please take off any photographer's logos on it, and I mean thoroughly. Some, especially independent photographers, may put their pictures on their website or Facebook accounts. This access may allow someone to find them more easily via TinType or Google Pictures. If they can find your name, they can find your address and a wide range of other information that could put you and your loved ones at risk. We all share the same concerns - I was stalked by phone and email because of a Facebook comment; the person found my name and number in the local phone book - but there is no need to make things worse. I am confident that the vast majority of clients will treat providers with great care, but there are always malicious people out therehi all. hope you are all doing great. would like your take on this situation and if I should have done something different.
I was in the mood for a massage, so I was looking at the backpage ads. Saw someone that intrigued me, but we all know there is high probability of fakes, so I checked TER. Nothing. But that is not unusual. So, I also right-clicked on a photo and selected "search Google for this image," I like this feature, because it quickly shows you who are using stock photos, other people's pics, etc. Well, in this case, the results came back showing this young woman's personal web pages, with her identifying information (real name, age). I mean way too much about her personal life.
I called her and told her that I saw her ad, I was really interested in meeting her and that she was really attractive, but, I told her, I feel like I have an obligation to tell you that I accidentally stumbled on her real name and information and that she should change her pics, etc. She freaked out on me, demanded that I explain, hung up on me as I was explaining and blocked my number! It has been a couple of weeks and she still has those pics online.
I tried to help, but am I wrong that no provider wants to advertise their personal info?
What should I have done here? Saying nothing does not seem right
Warning her about her pics being able to potentionally expose her true identity was the right call and a "standup" thing to do.
You can't help how someone will react when you offer advice or try to help them but the fact that you tried speaks to the quality of your character. I too have tried to help many people in this hobby and sometimes it blows up in your face but to me, the most important thing is knowing that I tried to do the right thing.
may she was shocked that someone did a lot of research on her and just didn't understand how you
where helping h
You tried to help. If she didn't want to listen, that's on her. Maybe she'll take better precautions in the future.
Handled it better, but if she hung up on you as you were explaining..maybe she didn't care as much as you did after all. I'm not saying you did anything right or wrong.
I'm impressed that you weeded thru the bazillion free spa place ads till you actually found someone..never mind all the fake pic ads and such.
Have you ever considered using the search function here on TER to find someone? You can dial it in to be pretty specific and at least you know if they are real or fake pretty quick.
I mean if you're gonna go thru the trouble of using GIS to verify pics and then wade thru the results......kinda seems like searching here would have been quicker and yielded better results.
Except I didn't call but texted instead to give her the friendly heads up. I know anyone would freak out in that situation so I didn't want deal with that verbally. I don't know if she ever got my text but hopefully she took necessary steps to stay incognito.
she didn't know you and she doesn't understand the internet..
If you had gone through with the appointment and brought it up to
her after the massage I bet she would have taken it better.
Good of you to tell her regardless.
Imagine if someone you've never met called you saying the same thing, you'd freak out (my assumption). I would have gotten the massage so she had an opportunity to realize your genuine and then maybe make the suggestion. Otherwise your actions indicate your being creepy and too personal to someone you've never met and that comes across weird. Not to mention your kind of calling her out saying you know her real name. Think about it, she's not expecting you or anyone for that matter, to say what you said and therefore freaks out.
Grandaddy sat me on his knee when I was 4 and told me the three immutable laws of nature:
1. Trees are wood.
2. Men are pigs.
3. Women are crazy.
It's hard to help those who will not help themselves. You did what you could.
You did what you could. I wouldn't give it a second thought about it. I would have waited until after the session because it would of been more effective.
In this industry the correct route is not always right i do the same when a girl contacts me for employment but i dont tell them because i know most girls will freak out the way that she did. You probably should of told her after the session girls always are more at ease once they have made some cash.
Basically cant save every hoe lol
I signed up for my very first website using my real name, phone number and address. My assumption was that it was private, and as you can imagine, my assumption was completely wrong. A really great guy that I'd seen a few times before sent me an email that said a quick Google search of my site revealed all of my info! I was so glad that he told me, and I was able to take care of things pretty quickly.
I'm not sure that I would've been as outwardly happy if a guy I'd never met before called or emailed to tell me that he knew my real name and what I looked like and where I lived. I may have hung up as well.. because I'd feel so anxious, even if you were just trying to help. Familiarity helps a lot in sticky situations like these I think.
I think you absolutely did the right thing, but you may have been the wrong person to deliver the message.
hey, thanks everyone for the responses and helpful feedback. I did consider doing a session first and then telling her, "oh, btw, . . ." and maybe that is how I will handle something like this in the future, but I just felt like that would be weird for me. Like many of you said, is better coming from a stranger or better coming from someone you have some rapport with -- and I totally agree, a stranger is creepy. But I just felt so weird trying to artificially build rapport to tell her something I have known about from the beginning. I like the way Taylor put it, I was not the right person to deliver the message.
oh, and yes, I do use the TER search function but I didn't see anyone that really interested me so I looked at the BP ads.
thanks again everyone, I really appreciate the feedback.
I have a few thoughts on this subject. Providers needs to be careful about their social media content. Your site, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or other accounts may conflict. One provider had a link to an Amazon wishlist that had her real name on it. Another Tweeted a link to her personal Instagram account with her name on it. One even accidentally emailed me with her personal account that had her real name. Being a gentleman, I said that the secret was safe with me seeing how she knew mine. I personally told the first two providers about what I - a complete amateur - found out with little difficulty. They heeded my advice.
Worst of all are modeling pictures. If you use them on your website, please take off any photographer's logos on it, and I mean thoroughly. Some, especially independent photographers, may put their pictures on their website or Facebook accounts. This access may allow someone to find them more easily via TinType or Google Pictures.
If they can find your name, they can find your address and a wide range of other information that could put you and your loved ones at risk. We all share the same concerns - I was stalked by phone and email because of a Facebook comment; the person found my name and number in the local phone book - but there is no need to make things worse. I am confident that the vast majority of clients will treat providers with great care, but there are always malicious people out there
Your story is a classic case of "common sense not being so common".
That and "no good deed goes unpunished".