There is a provider in Vegas that I see about once a year that I'll use as a reference. I've missed a year now and then, so there may have been times that it had been over 12 months since we'd seen each other last that I asked her for a reference.
But since I am a 'regular' of sorts, that's in my favor. If I were closer, I'd see her more often. I've given her Victoria's Secret gift cards as thank-yous for years where I've asked on more than a couple of occasions. So, if these are people you've seen on more than one occasion and have made a little more of a connection with, I wouldn't find it too odd. Especially if you expect they will see you again. If it was a one and done kind of meeting, then perhaps he is one who doesn't hobby that often. It all depends on the situation, I'd think. I actually prefer using providers who are out of town for references. It gives less of a "I could see you again, but help me see someone else instead" vibe. Nature of the business, I know, but it's still out there. I also try to ask providers that I will be looking forward to seeing again when they are back in town. And P411 FTWPlease tell me if any of you active gentleman would use a provider as a reference if you haven't seen them for a year or more?
It seems rude and suspicious to me.
This has happened three times since the beginning of the year. One I haven't seen for 6 years :-0
Thanks I would love your input and if I should allow gentleman who do this to use me as a reference.
Can you?
Most of the ladies I see want current references, not one's pulled from the archives. IMHO it's a bit rude to ask for a reference from that long ago.
I try to use Date Check for screening because it works both ways but if the lady wants additional references I ask a regular or someone I've seen in the last 3 months.
I remember people I saw 13 yrs ago.. Circa 2001..I remember the illegal brothel I used to frequent in SmallTown, PA, and my first appointment with a provider who almost ripped me off. Then first great appointment like Simone of DC in Jan of 2003... Lila shortly afterwards... I even talked to Simone about seeing Robin and asked her if she would be OK giving me reference.. I remember everything like it were yesterday..
Now, I don't remember every single person I've seen, but I do remember quiet a bit... Say 90%..
-- Modified on 4/10/2014 3:28:41 PM
Now, I don't remember every single person I've seen, but I do remember quiet a bit... Say 90%..
-- Modified on 4/10/2014 3:28:41 PM
to use someone whom you haven't met in a while
to see a provider in a year or more yet think it's OK to expect them to be willing to take the time to verify you. Although I agree it's a bit stupid as well.
i don't think is rude... is a reference still... I would not mind.
That is the problem with the referral system, if you're not a regular hobbyist then your 'contacts' are soon out of date. Yes, I know its a year, but lets say you just dabble a few times a year and some are BP girls, AMPs UTR, or agencies - hard to get referrals Hell, you can be damn active and still have issues depending on your mongering preferences.
I don't know how providers remember their clients anyway, seems like it would be a blur. If you're keeping records, then a "saw that guy but it was a year ago - proceed with caution".
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But safety is so important . I don't have any room for mistakes, being a parent. Especially when you say something like seeing BP ladies and agencies??? I don't take references from them either. While I know a lot of BP ladies have reviews now, I just don't like to take chances.
If it was a year, wouldn't do it. The 'dark' side is somebody could be using his information.
It is a trade-off. I don't know the business, but have heard enough stories to know there are just enough bad people out there to make it very dangerous.
Stay safe.
I hobby so infrequently but still keep in contact thru email with my ATF and will on occasion use her as a reference and she doesn't seem to mind. Plus I moved out of the area and only visit on a quarterly basis.
General guidance would be to have seen a lady within the last 6 months, 12 months at the most. 6 years...no way.
that you saw that guy but it was over a year ago. That is if he was a gentleman you have no problem giving him a positive ref. If not, you could say was no longer welcome to see you. Also, you don't have to reply, ya know.
I encountered this problem recently myself. I did not hobby for several months and when I booked with a new girl, my refs did indicate that it had been several months since they saw me.
One thing is for certain, that they remembered me, so I guess I left a positive memory in their minds. Because I did get the green light to book.
As for it being rude. I am sure that was not his intention.
I think it is at the discretion of the provider. However, I would not expect a provider to give a reference if I haven't seen her in over a year.
There is a provider in Vegas that I see about once a year that I'll use as a reference. I've missed a year now and then, so there may have been times that it had been over 12 months since we'd seen each other last that I asked her for a reference.
But since I am a 'regular' of sorts, that's in my favor. If I were closer, I'd see her more often. I've given her Victoria's Secret gift cards as thank-yous for years where I've asked on more than a couple of occasions.
So, if these are people you've seen on more than one occasion and have made a little more of a connection with, I wouldn't find it too odd. Especially if you expect they will see you again. If it was a one and done kind of meeting, then perhaps he is one who doesn't hobby that often.
It all depends on the situation, I'd think.
I actually prefer using providers who are out of town for references. It gives less of a "I could see you again, but help me see someone else instead" vibe. Nature of the business, I know, but it's still out there.
I also try to ask providers that I will be looking forward to seeing again when they are back in town.
And P411 FTW
I have people who I haven't seen for years asked me to be their reference. I was always happy to do so.
I use references more than a year old. If you had a good connection, why not?
I think guys think of references saying,"Wow, what a great lover." The providers are thinking, "Did he beat you or steal from you?"
One of my references stood me up the last time and said she'd make it up. She never did. So the least she owes me is a reference.
Me too. If it has been awhile since I had seen them, I let them know that. It's up to them if they want to see them or not. I'm at a place in my life that I have a lot to lose now, I want to be stay safe and there has been a lot of creative LE activity that has come across my email as well in the last year. Thx for your input lady 
Some are hard to forget. The hotter they are the easier to remember. YOU are impossible to forget.
You usually will keep your profile current with either posting a review at a later time or something to that nature from what I have heard.
While I was not speaking of gentleman I have an established relationship with. I was speaking of gentleman I have only seen once and I haven't heard from them since for more than year. I started in the hobby 6 years ago in March, the gentlemanI am referring to are the ones I hadn't seen for 2, 3, or 4 years.
***Additional Point*** What is up with ladies who don't let you use them as a reference. I know they have to take references to stay safe but they themselves aren't a reference for you? Are they lazy and don't want to take the time to verify their guys or just trying to monopolize their clientele? I do believe it is professional courtesy is it not? Besides I thought in the hobby it is share a share and alike industry ;-P. Is this why I am getting these weird outdated verification request??? That seems very unfair. I'm not comfortable taking outdated information in the first place.
Besides any verification or reference I receive I verify that the lady has current reviews and are established as well. Anybody can throw a name out there. All in all I do have enough experience under my belt to make a judgement call. But that is few and far between. There are enough of us professionals in the hobby, what you do with the few that don't follow routine.
I don't know you tell!!!
Anyway I am tightening up the ship and am identifying time wasters to be able to embark on other personal endeavors.
Thank you everybody for all your input. I'm going to go and enjoy this beautiful spring day in DC.
Have a great day!!
I travel almost constantly, so I may not have the opportunity to see a lady frequently. But a few I keep in touch with quite often--e-mails, texts, phone calls, etc. I have never had an issue using them as references. One lady retired for a couple years but she and I kept in touch, and she even spent a weekend with me when she was on vacation.
You have to realize, some guys only do this occasionally. For some, 2 or 3 times a year is about it. I don't think there is any magic cut-off time, it really does depend. If you don't really remember someone from even a month or two back, is it a real reference? If you are comfortable with him, why would the time matter--though if it was a while I would certainly say so in any note to the lady.
I think 6 years is probably a bit excessive.