The look is always the first attractor, but the personality can make or break the whole experience.  And yes it's hard to sample the personality before meeting, and I love email exchanges and flirting before the meeting, but when it's a first meeting, new client appointment I never know if the lady is into that or open to a little pre-date flirting, so I've generally refrained.  But that kind of personality always will enhance the eventual time together, and can turn a one-and-done visit into an I'll repeat often visit, even if looks are not 8 and above.

That looks are okay-an upbeat, positive personality wins out !!!

Most of us are probably drawn to a provider by looks first.  Then we read reviews.  I personally don't want to waste a bunch of time "feeling each other out".  I'm sure the ladies get enough phone calls, and email as it is, without some guy asking a bunch of questions that are probably already answered on her web page.  After the first meeting, you will know if you want to see her again.  That is when you can "feel her out", catching up since the last visit and so on.  And, that is my 2 cents.

But it's hard to tell from just an ad.  Sometimes photos that show her eyes give you a feel but.....

Reviews help the most, you learn to follow certain reviewers as easy bets, or read reviews to get a feel for her personality.

Board post and communication exchange are huge helps.

Looks can instantly rule out a lady, but a feel for how we will click are critical for the "buy" decision

Looks may start my process- But as you can see from my reviews not all of my favorites are drop dead hot.Really reviews start me looking based on  performance. Then a great personality adds to my decision. Could be her personality on here or how our communication is. One of my favorites who is retired -some might say is a 7or 8 in looks- had lunch with her recently and laughed our ass off about how things were 8 years ago. Cheers from the lake.

That's a great question. Looks obviously is what we notice first from pics so it is important but personality is very important because you don't want to see someone that going to be an asshole to u, and that goes for both client and provider.

Khori - lord knows you're no pain in the ass and I think us guys should be flattered whenever women even try to figure us men out.  Heck, just the fact pretty girls care about what us slobs think is an ego boost.  Seriously.

I will try to tell you how my little mind works (it's a real mess in there lol).  I don't presume to speak for all guys.  Honestly I probably think much differently than most folks (men and women alike).    But I willingly throw my single data point into the mix for your market research.  Take it for what it's worth...

I recently answered for the question "what are the top 3 things you look for in a provider?" - attitude, attitude, attitude.  I still stand behind that.  And for the purposes of your question I would say personality = attitude (although admittedly it's a bit of a simplification).  

Now for the slightly more complex answer (but not much - us guys aren't terribly deep as you've probably come to find out)...  Are looks important?  Yes, absolutely.  Men are largely visual creatures and we tend to grab any shiny thing that comes along and catches our attention.  Ok, maybe not shiny but lovely round, bouncy, jiggly, jello-ey things - but the same concept applies.  

So, will we jump into bed with a pretty girl that has little/no personality?  Yes, absolutely.  We're men.  LOL.  But as you can imagine the chances of us coming back for return visits diminishes quickly.  So good attitude/personality is extremely important to having me as a regular visitor to your bed.

So, what are some of the traits of a "good" personality or attitude?  Again, I can only answer for myself.  But of all the long term relationships I have had over the years these are the things that have worked for me...

A sense of humor.  I think being able to share jokes and laugh when we stub our toe or fall off the bed is critical.  Laughter is just such a bonding element - maybe even more important than physical intimacy.

A can-do attitude.  In life, and in the bedroom I always look for someone that is going to give it their best.  Having someone who knows the things you like and tries hard to make them happen is just wonderful, isn't it?

Creativity.  Trying new things, solving problems a different way, keeping the excitement level high are all important for long term relationships.  Letting things get stale in the bedroom is a relationship killer.

Imagination.  Make something up, show me what your mind can do.  Our minds are our biggest erogenous zones, why not use them?  Role play, story telling, erotic games, fantasizing are all incredibly powerful foreplay tools.  One of my favorite experiences was a girl I knew that would sometimes start a session by telling me an erotic story.  I would hold her close, caress her and she would spin these wonderful, erotic, fantasies.  Again, maybe it's not for everyone but I found a mind to mind connection like that an incredible aphrodesiac.  Often times she didn't get to complete the story as lust overpowered our minds and our bodies just had to get involved.  It was extremely hot.

But probably the most important thing for a long term relationship is just finding someone who will put up with me.  LOL.  I won't underestimate the importance of that.

Anyway, those are some of the things that have worked for me.  But my point was that a woman's beauty may bring a man to her bed but her attitude/personality will keep him coming back.

As to your other question, I do sometimes pm ladies regarding an interesting or funny post (or sexy pic).  It's a nice icebreaker and another great thing about this community.  Like the virtual cocktail party analogy, I guess I like to "mingle".  And flirt.  LOL.  I try not to email a lady unless I'm getting close to setting up a date.  Good communications are important to me but I also try to be respectful of the lady's personal time.  I do admit some flirty pm's, emails, or texts really brighten up a boring or frustrating day...

Now, who wants to tell me a story?  

-- Modified on 4/14/2015 11:28:27 PM

im gonna say half and half BUT

If shes a perfect ten and a total bitch, im out.  She can be a 7 and a great attitude and go a lot further with me in my book! Now ive confused myself, maybe not half and half! LOL, a great personality goes a long way! I do like to share a few emails to get to know someone somewhat. Most of the ladies I have seen have a great personality. The hottest one Ive seen actually had the best attitude and personality of all. And she's an 11 on my scale. Gotta go see her soon!

...personality and attitude keep me coming back. I've seen women who are everything that I desire physically but have difficult personalities or shitty attitudes which is a huge turn off.

I've also seen ladies that I may not have been totally physically attracted to at first but their personality on the message boards turned me on so much that I made an appt.

With that said, I will confess that I am guilty of seeing one attractive provider with a very difficult personality and bad attitude longer than I should have just because the hate sex was so good.

To answer your question Khori, I really don't expect a provider to waste time emailing me just so I can feel her out. I'm sure you're too busy to converse with every lonely and horny dude in ATL; especially if they never plan on making an appt.
I do however appreciate a lady who is kind and flirty in her email correspondence as oppossed to being cold and business-like.

in the hobby or your personal life.They better be able to keep up I imagine. You Pain in the ass. Cheers from the lake.Weather sux no bouncing Bambie's this weekend.

Hi Khori:

Thank you for your fine question. My response relates to the hobby.

To be honest, its looks.  I arrange my prospective bookings first by collecting a small group of possibilities, then confirmed by reviews. The reviews to confirm if they are legit, second to understand their comfort level for services, then client feedback.

I have no way to determine her personality via pictures. There is; however, a vibe ether good or bad that I pick up from the pictures. I use that in coming to the short list mentioned above.

In my case, I am in my late 50's. There really is no real sexual relationships with women my age. Sure I could court woman my age and certainly socialize. Sexually, I find them to be all done. Biology and life has shut them down sexually. It is not their fault, I am not critizing them.  In their lives in their teens, 20's. 30's, 40's their husbands and lovers got the best they could give.  Work, kids, husband(s), bad affairs, mom, etc and etc has added stress has just worn them out, too. They seem past or over sex, to be honest.  They try, well kinda, but it ain't there no more.

So really is looks. A provider is not going to be a pensonality fit for a few reasons. One, I am dealing with the providers persona and not hers.  While they can be a fit there is no compatibility. I would need to emotionally touch the real girl and the provider protects that, which I understand. She presents the side she wishes for me to see.

If it were not looks then why so much attention to it.  We get to know so few providers on this site, too.

Nope, its looks.  I hope that I caused no offense.

I'm superficial, so looks first.  But, if I'm on the fence, then menu and submissiveness are critical.  ANY attitude, and I pass.  She needs to be reasonable and cooperative, no smart ass comments, and ZERO rudeness (which includes not responding).  Keep in mind, this is all proportional to the level of competition in the market as well.  If there are many targets, then looks rule every time.  

Also, I'll see a girl the first time, BUT I only repeat if the service is excellent, and personality is part of that.  A bad personality means one and done, no repeats.

-- Modified on 4/15/2015 5:58:29 AM

Looks and/or persona will be what first attracts me.  Looks obviously come from her web site and a variety of other sources dependent upon how she advertises.  Persona comes from postings on TER, Twitter, and the like.  Occasionally, the persona attracts me first and then I go to the photo and other information sources.  Having all of that information leads me to a preliminary decision.  Then, during the contact process, I try to get a sense of her personality, and vice versa.  Hopefully the end result is a happy one (pun intended).

Thanks everyone! I appreciate your candor.......

Great things to know......thanks, again!  

...like several of the other guys have said:

For me, looks is what initially attracts me to make contact.  

However, personality and attitude, along with, if we had chemistry (or even perceived chemistry) when we get together, is what makes the time more meaningful and memorable.

I don't expect a lot of back and forth emailing before we meet, but if if happens, it does help add to the overall GFE, most of the time.  Now, this is not always true, as I've had some great experiences where the entire screening, scheduling and all communication was with an assistant and the first contact of any kind with the lady was when she greeted me at the door.  

By the way, you are certainly NOT a pain in the ass...

I won't even consider a lady if I'm not attracted to her, but personality is what'll get me to make an appointment every time (well, the few times I DO make appointments but that's a different conversation).
 

Repeat visits

I am going to chime in about seeing a lady more than once.  If she doesn't do what she says she is going to chances go way down that I will repeat with her.  No matter the looks or personality.  And yes I agree that the ladies in this biz get more BS than anyone could ever imagine.   bigdell

I have a thing for thick ladies. Don't care what people think it's my thing.When I first started this hobby my atf was slightly on the thick side and I loved it. Since then she has lost a good bit of weight and I still find myself attracted to her. I think it has a lot to do with the awesome person she is inside.

Not one or the other situation but a blend of both is attractive.

To me looks embodies personality.  Kind of like the old Ginger/Maryann debate.  Wholesome or glamor.  We can say we like someone's look but in saying that I think we are making a statement regarding what sort of personality likely comes with it.    Looks against the grain of a personality preference can work for a night or two, but without the right  blend of personalities there ain't any good long term prospects from what I have seen.