New to this. Asked a provider (politely) well into our chat about arrangements if she didn't mind me asking how regularly she is tested and if she also uses oral contraceptive. Reaction was livid and she accused me of suggesting she was dirty. I calmly explained I was simply trying to be safe and would gladly answer any similar questions she may have.
She did eventually mention in passing (after essentially telling me to take a hike) that she was tested back in November. Out of curiosity, how often is considered typical for testing for STIs amongst providers (1 month, 2 months, sporadically, occasionally)? I recall in adult film industry it's as often as every 2-3 weeks. Again meant no disrespect, I always err on being safe than sorry but perhaps this type of questioning is considered insulting by some.-- Modified on 1/31/2017 11:36:58 AM
If you are practicing safe sex, these questions (and their answers) are irrelevant. If you are NOT practicing safe sex, these questions (and answers) have no power to keep you "safe".
You are the guardian of your own health and safety.
Amen.
You are the guardian of your own health and safety.
With due respect, I don't consider it a waste of time to inquire about safe sex practices of someone who's job involves a larger volume of sex. Or that it is irrelevant. You are right I am the guardian of my own health and safety, but 100% is not within my control. I cannot control if a condom breaks or if the provider entertains m unsafe practices with others that exposes me to greater risk. That's the whole point of screening for stis on a regular basis or taking oral contraception isn't it? Anyways I can accept that the information is a bit intrusive, but let's not pretend these questions are "irrelevant" or have never crossed anyone's minds.
You are the guardian of your own health and safety.
Have you seen any providers yet?
Our bodies are our temple! They are our pride! They are what we are proud of! Unless a girl is being forced to do this against her will we are clean and conscious women. I understand your concern for your health, but keep in mind so are we! I do not want anything that will compromise my health, and I'm not trying to add a child to my life.
If you book with a reputable provider you have no reason for concern.
Great to hear that, and I appreciate your sincere response.
First, if you can't realize the question is offensive to a provider, then you are way to immature to hobby. Should the lady ask you if you regularly beat your wife or kids or if you've ever hit a woman? Should she ask you how much do you drink each week or if you ever used coke or smoked weed? Should she ask you if you have ever spent time in jail or a psyche ward? Should she ask you how much money you make annually and could she see your tax returns to validate? Should she ask you to show her your stock portfolio? After all, she is going to get naked in a room with you to have sex so she should make sure that you are an upstanding citizen with tremendous morals/values who is not going to cause her physical or mental harm and who has the financial where with all and stability to pay her donation. I am sure you'd be happy to answer these questions and provide any and all necessary proof she requires prior to a session.
Yes, the question of STD's is offensive to a lady. The same as any of those questions above would be offensive to you. There is risk (but great reward!) in partaking in the hobby. Each party weighs everything. If you are that worried about getting an STD from a provider to the point you need to ask her in your initial dialogue, then perhaps you shouldn't hobby. Seriously,
Second, you do realize that any information she offers regarding her "STD check-up" is outdated the second she offers it to you. Getting tested in November MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING when you are having sex with her in January. She would have to get tested, get the negative results, and then immediately be locked away for 3-4 months, only to have SuperFanny001 find her, rescue her and then have sex with her. In that scenario, you might be safe
-- Modified on 1/31/2017 7:00:07 AM
You are taking this way too personally and your analogies are completely off point (whether my morals are upstanding has n bearing on risks of contracting STI). I was being honest and open about a legit fear I have but unlike the other more thoughtful responses above, you are being hysterical. And you are right anything can happen between November and January. It's not about eliminating risk it's about reducing it though (adult film stars have a similar system, they get tested every couple weeks, when they perform they don't have 100% assurance but it is still something they undergo to reduce likelihood of getting STI). I'm sorry you find it offensive (if a provider asked me, honestly, I wouldn't have no inhibition telling her about what safety measures I take so that's where I was coming from). I only ask because I care.
You have "a legitimate concern" about contracting an STD, so you ask her if she is clean and disease free. Conversely, she may have a "legitimate concern" about not being beaten so she asks you if you ever hit a woman in the past. She may have a "legitimate concern" about not being cheated financially, so she asks you to prove you can handle the donation. She may have a "legitimate concern" about not being in the presence of anyone who uses drugs, so she asks you about your drug/alcohol intake. All the same line of questioning.... Both parties would be trying to make sure they are having sex with someone who is clean/disease free (in your case) and not an asshole who will cause her any harm (in her case)
Again, let me repeat myself... Asking her if she is disease free IN NO WAY REDUCES YOUR RISK of contracting an STD for that upcoming session. In most cases, the lady is going to be offended that you are even asking her (as you found out yourself) and will tell you to fuck off. (and not in a good way). And, even those who actually answer the question, will tell you what they know you want to hear...which is she is completely clean and gets tested weekly.
If a provider were to ask you (she never will) about your sexual history, you think she'll trust SuperFanny's response that he is 100% clean and has always has used a condom in all sexual encounters... Really? I think you know the answer to this one (It's NO in case you don't)
Come on......please wake up and understand reality. This is a BIG BOY/BIG GIRL hobby. Nobody should trust anyone with regard to what they say about their past sexual history and or STD testing history. And nobody cares because the truthfulness will never be known. Trust no one. That's why everyone needs always to protect themselves to the best of their ability. And the smart hobbyists and well respected providers all understand this.
You articulated it perfectly. I wish I had your eloquence.
Again, let me repeat myself... Asking her if she is disease free IN NO WAY REDUCES YOUR RISK of contracting an STD for that upcoming session. In most cases, the lady is going to be offended that you are even asking her (as you found out yourself) and will tell you to fuck off. (and not in a good way). And, even those who actually answer the question, will tell you what they know you want to hear...which is she is completely clean and gets tested weekly.
If a provider were to ask you (she never will) about your sexual history, you think she'll trust SuperFanny's response that he is 100% clean and has always has used a condom in all sexual encounters... Really? I think you know the answer to this one (It's NO in case you don't)
Come on......please wake up and understand reality. This is a BIG BOY/BIG GIRL hobby. Nobody should trust anyone with regard to what they say about their past sexual history and or STD testing history. And nobody cares because the truthfulness will never be known. Trust no one. That's why everyone needs always to protect themselves to the best of their ability. And the smart hobbyists and well respected providers all understand this.
Gosh, I would sell my soul to get a review from you.
Again, let me repeat myself... Asking her if she is disease free IN NO WAY REDUCES YOUR RISK of contracting an STD for that upcoming session. In most cases, the lady is going to be offended that you are even asking her (as you found out yourself) and will tell you to fuck off. (and not in a good way). And, even those who actually answer the question, will tell you what they know you want to hear...which is she is completely clean and gets tested weekly.
If a provider were to ask you (she never will) about your sexual history, you think she'll trust SuperFanny's response that he is 100% clean and has always has used a condom in all sexual encounters... Really? I think you know the answer to this one (It's NO in case you don't)
Come on......please wake up and understand reality. This is a BIG BOY/BIG GIRL hobby. Nobody should trust anyone with regard to what they say about their past sexual history and or STD testing history. And nobody cares because the truthfulness will never be known. Trust no one. That's why everyone needs always to protect themselves to the best of their ability. And the smart hobbyists and well respected providers all understand this.
You could have saved a lot of time typing by simply saying "Trust no one". Thats a good piece of advice. Otherwise please troll someone else, I don't appreciate your tone. As I said I'm new to this (though perhaps I will not go any further if I have to deal with mouth breathers like you). You can patronize all you want, like I said, I only asked because I care. I hope you don't run into someone who doesn't.
You came to the forum asking for advice. He gave you thorough, honest, candid advice. You are being rude accusing him of "trolling" just because you can't take the answer. You have not gone amy further than you started--wasting people's time--and I doubt you will go any further than that.
It's under the General Boards drop down. They play nicer on the newbie board. Btw, there's a search feature on all boards where you can see if your question has been asked before. There's very few questions that haven't been asked.
I'm tested every 2 months and have papers to show
If you ask it, i'll most likely assume that you're gonna push for bareback.
"asking how regularly she is tested and if she also uses oral contraceptive"
It is one thing to ask about the STD testing question, VERY much another to ask about contraceptives. You waved a flag asking for BBFS. There is NO other reason to ask that.
How does me being on a Depo shot have to do with STD protection? All it is is a way for you to ask for BBFS because "you won't get pregnant" kind of shit.
I wouldn't see you because you are asking for BB. If you weren't, I still wouldn't because it is a stupid ass question that is none of your business.
People gave you advice, nicely mind you, and you got mad.
If you don't know what a contraceptive is ... oh wow. Conceive. Get it??? Now why would you need to know that but to bother for BB...
Some people.The Std question I get but it is still insulting and a typicial game player question. At a minimum you are coming across as someone who doesn't even know if you want to see her (and that's if the hooker doesn't get the implication you made)
Great point. I hadn't thought of that. The original poster emailed me today trying to get an appointment, I was thoroughly creeped out.
sites like seeking arrangement where the men ask stuff like that and then assume you're just going to have unprotected sex with them -_- why on earth would anyone take that risk? Getting tested is important in this line of work and I do it fairly frequently.
Off topic but omg is there a like a best of "seeking arrangement" is awful repository with things like this?
Not officially but if you go on tumblr and see the sugar baby blogs, you'll see just how delusional lots of "sugar daddies" are. For my sanity, I got rid of all rude and insulting messages from those men.
Just connected the dots (didn't realize it was you who I emailed) and no I wasn't going for BB. Jesus. Get a life. Sorry I asked a super paranoid question (ppl have committed worse sins). Enjoy your life.
A lot of us when new made small errors like this so do not feel badly. It's normal as you learn the ropes. Essentially if you are kind, clean, respectful of rates (only ask for discount if offered in ad), write good intro email and most importantly HAVE FUN, you'll be ok. Regarding last part, feel at ease cause these women are almost always clean. You are better off than with random girl.
I know I had hang ups when I started. But I got past them. If you get past yours I think you'll enjoy yourself.
If you have any questions feel free to PM!