Was this an inquiry to meet you for coffee off the clock?

I've seen Providers offer to meet up for coffee or a drink on the clock but not at their normal hourly donation.  I could see the benefits, if it's the first time meeting, prior to a potential multi-hour or overnight date.

-- Modified on 10/13/2016 12:39:14 PM

so he ask you to meet you for coffee, that's still your time, he has to pay for your time......isn't what this whole thing is about???

No money = no honey

If I am not getting paid there's no reason to waste my energy getting ready and meeting in public .

We have adopted the approach of having a low social rate for just such encounters. If someone is legit and just wants to make sure it would be a good fit, then they should be able to pay at least something for your time (and drinks) even in a social setting. If they won't, then you have to question if they are just playing with the idea.  

We know of other providers (female, male and couples) who have adopted a similar approach. We also know of providers who charge their regular hourly rate (or close to it) for social encounters. Our sense is, they probably get fewer social appointments than those with a lower rate, but who knows.

Remember this: if you don't value your time, no one else will either.

Best wishes,

Tori & Nick

First, I want to put all of this into the following frame: If I can make things easier or more comfortable for a patron in a way that either doesn't take away from me, or is fair to me, or even creates a win for us both, why on earth wouldn't I?

My focus, and the focus of the folks who reach out to me is largely emotional chemistry. While you can certainly pick up a lot about a lady or gentleman from their words, questions still arise, such as "Did she really write her own site/ad copy?" or "How much did she 'edit' herself in her words?" (ie-do they really represent her when she's in person).

My starting rate and time minimum is rather high, when comparing across the board in most major cities. Furthermore, because I pursue and cater to emotional and mental chemistry, my average "starting rate/time" (how long my average date runs) is solidly in my dinner and extended dinner arena. That's a significant chunk of change AND a significant time investment on the part of the lady or gentleman seeing me.

While I definitely agree this is a "luxury" activity, providing a short ~half hour daytime meeting-at a proportionate rate-to grab coffee or hit the part or an art exhibit is a completely reasonable way of injecting some reality into the situation. It's fair to me-I'm still getting compensated for my time, AND I'm avoiding the "will you test the waters for free?" requests, AND it's fair to the lady or gentleman contacting me who might be more cautious. Perhaps they've gotten burned before by someone who very much did not accurately represent themselves (in words/tone or visuals), or perhaps they are new and shaky (easily 1/3 of the folks who reach out to me anyway), or perhaps they are solely focused on a deep emotional connection and are more willing to invest the larger sum if they know that is there or at least possible with the lady they're reaching out to.

Lastly, I invite you to look at this from a purely business perspective. Assuming this is simply a gentleman who is serious about his caution, and willing to adequately compensate for your time, then this is a gentleman who is more likely to stay with you in the longer run should you hit it off. On a personal level, I'll take those deep, lasting friendships over surface skimming variety any day of the week, but even removing my personal feelings from the equation, having dedicated patronage is just wise business.

There's a lot of things I cannot or will not do, and I'm comfortable both holding to my boundaries and finding workable alternatives to make us both happy. But in the case of simple win/wins like this? Oh yes, gladly.

Since the guy wanted to meet off the clock, he was probably a waste of time.  But with that said, when I was still active in the hobby, I've asked girls to meet for coffee/drink as the first step of screening (for both parties) at a reduced rate.  Most girls rejected the idea right away, but the ones that didn't usually turned out to be my regular ongoing companions.    

The hobby is full of "pros" that are overly "business" imo, disconnected and clock focused.  Nothing wrong with that, but there is something to be said about an old fashioned start to things.  To me, typical "pros" are nothing special and they don't usually leave me wanting more, the girls that are open to something different in their catalog of services (such as drink dates etc) are real gems in a field of cubic zirconias...