The power of an ATF. I agree 100%. It is easy to fall in love with an ATF. It is hard to realize that though she may actually love you as a client, that is her business. She may also be the ATF of many others. As long as you know you are paying for love in all the right places, you will be ok. The instant you feel you can make more out of the relationship, get out of it at once. You will be left holding a brocken heart while your ATF will be servicing others who believe she is their ATF. The best escorts are very nice people, they love what they do and they love their clients. Once their clients start loving back the good ones will drop you very fast. They do not want you hurt.
Following a similar line as an earlier post, but with a few different twists:
What if your ATF is just that, your real All Time Favorite? She knows me, my idiosyncracies and what makes me happy and what doesn't. I really enjoy being with her, not just as a provider and a woman but as a good person as well. Some people in the earlier post have suggested that maybe the previous poster should mix it up, but if I did that, then my finances wouldn't allow me to see my ATF often, and since she makes me happy (physically and emotionally) every time I see her, why shouldn't I continue to see her almost exclusively? What to do?
I think what the other posters are recommending is that you should do whatever gives you the most satisfaction...after all you are paying for the oppurtunity. The only cautionary tale here is that you could wind up thinking there is more to the meeting than there really is...a VERY common problem. I have an ATF and this weekend will be my last visit...not because she doesn't please me in every way but because she does and I don't have confidence in my ability to realize that she is just a very good actress and in the end I am nothing more than "just another head on her pillow"....no hard feelings about this on my part...just a little self presevation on my part. My advice ...not that anyone asked for it...enjoy yourself and get as close as you dare to these lovely creatures but be a bit guarded.
I am a little tired of being called an actress. I'm not an actress. If I were, don't you suppose I'd be in Hollywood or NYC chasing down the big money if I were any good at acting?
Sure, some of the ladies may be actresses, I suppose, in bed with you guys. I'd venture to even say many are in some aspect for self-preservation purposes, but personally, I am not. If I don't like you or your personality or what have you, I cannot successfully pretend that I do long enough to even get through one appointment.
I have a clause in my booking that states that if either one of us, during the part of the appointment where we "get to know each other verbally," feels we will not gel, the client will be free to leave and shall do so with references from me of ladies I know who may be better suited for his personality traits if he so wishes. This is for a few reasons:
1. I'm not an actress and if we have no chemistry, I will not enjoy myself and neither will you and unfortunately, I'm not adept enough or fake enough to pretend I like you, even if the rent is 5 days late and you're the only appointment in site. (I cite rent because another common misconception is that we're all rich and have no money problems which couldn't be further from the truth in this hobby, but that's for another thread.)
2. This is far too expensive for you, as a paying "customer," not to enjoy yourself. It is also an intangible item, so you can't go home with anything more than a memory and if it's a bad experience, it's an expensive bad experience and $375+ you can't get back but will surely have buyer's remorse for spending.
3. I have too much respect for you as a human being to let you have an unsatisfactory experience and too much respect for myself as a professional and as a human being to go through the motions without genuinely being in the moment, enjoying the moment with you.
Now, I suppose you wonder if anyone has taken me up on this. Not as often as I've enacted my clause myself. I have sent three clients away with references of other ladies who are well-reviewed who have different personalities from mine and with whom I think he'd enjoy his experience more. Every one of them were shocked at the time but later emailed me admitting that he wasn't feeling the chemistry either and I was thanked me for my honesty and consideration for their wallet, their sexual well-being and for being an integral lady. I've received many referrels from these three gentlemen because I'm not an actress and I will not go throgh the motions and I am humble and considerate; financially, emotionally and mentally of both of us.
So, please stop using the term actress, guys. Sure, some girls are but can't you tell when it's really just not there? Some of us genuinely DO enjoy you as people, as men, as intelligent, loving, respectful and caring beings and we don't hate our "jobs" so much that we have to pretend to like you.
Has it ever occurred to you that we're just like you? We pooh and pee and worry about our kids and our bills and in some cases, our SO's and other people with whom we interact. Some of us don't look at the men in this hobby as, "just another head on my pillow." Rather we respect you for being men with needs who chose us to fulfill them and we appreciate you for being fathers and husbands and providers for your family and worriers of your responsibilities who come to see us to leave those things just outside the door so you can pick them up again on your way home.
I have long suspected that many of the men who hobby are emotionally or sexually low on self-worth and this is why they assume we must be acting with them. Let me tell you something, your ATF may be an actress, but if you see her rather often, I PROMISE you, she couldn't keep up the act of pretend-liking you long enough for her to become your ATF. Ford40, I venture to say she genuinely enjoys your company above and beyond just your wallet. Certainly, she enjoys being handed her paycheck for the service she provided, but not too many of us enjoy making money more than we enjoy feeling safe, secure and spending time with gentlemen who we genuinely like and who treat us not like whores or prostitutes or machines, but as adults just like them with responsibilities, fears, concerns, successes, failures, and the list goes on.
Please guys, please don't assume that any of us are actresses. I guaranfuckingtee you that if you've been coming around awhile and we've been letting you instead of putting you off or ignoring you, it's because we adore you as well and we probably feel the same connection with you as you feel with us.
Respectfully yours,
Andi Ryan
Andi, I found just about every lady I've been with to be genuine, especially after I show her that I treat her with respect and make her understand that she is appreciated and she is safe with me and not dealing with some wacko. So Andi let me thank you and all the ladies that put up with us guys, because yes some of us are nice but many act like jerks and neanderthals and I know if I was in your place I could never do it.
Andi Ryan, you have a good head on your shoulders. Best wishes and keep up the good posts.
Nucks
Thank God not everybody's an actress, just as you say and show, Andi.
One way to help tell if a provider is being real, and not just acting: she should be willing to give the client, at some appropriate points of mutual emotional disclosure, her real name and cell phone number, and provide some personal details about her family or education or other job, etc.
Receiving that information is no guarantee of genuineness, but if a client is also receiving other vibes of emotional openness and developing closeness...he should be able to tell whether or not "This is all an act".
However, as LG warns, we men must be careful of the boundaries. Choosing and valuing a non-actress is fine...but believing paid sex ever equals an unpaid relationship is quite another matter. 'Romantic hormones' can easily lead to wishful thinging and self-deception.
The power of an ATF. I agree 100%. It is easy to fall in love with an ATF. It is hard to realize that though she may actually love you as a client, that is her business. She may also be the ATF of many others. As long as you know you are paying for love in all the right places, you will be ok. The instant you feel you can make more out of the relationship, get out of it at once. You will be left holding a brocken heart while your ATF will be servicing others who believe she is their ATF. The best escorts are very nice people, they love what they do and they love their clients. Once their clients start loving back the good ones will drop you very fast. They do not want you hurt.
Mrskins was a self admitted fan of variety, but you are not.
Enjoy.
-- Modified on 8/11/2006 5:48:37 AM
My dear I just love my ATF,
I agree wholeheartedly with mrfisher. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Keep going to your ATF and remain happy! I'm sure you're her ATF as well. As long as you keep your relation to her in the hobbying department, I see no problem with it whatsoever.
Many of the threads here have involved very serious issues regarding ATFs. We have discussed marriage, divorce, children, change of jobs, etc. These are fundamental life changes. Romantic projections, phantasies and other mind-altering processes can affect our actions and behaviors in very powerful ways. I am always on the side of caution when it comes to expanding or going beyond the boundaries of the hobby.
As far as your posting, you are not indicating any of those issues. Hence, I see no problem with your continuing the enjoyment of your ATF.
Keep that good thing going,
the Love Goddess
Thanks for the great advise everyone, especially The Love Goddess whose opinion and advise I have come to respect. I plan on keeping this thing going for as long as I can, and I hope that's going to be a long long time.
. . . over all others after 40 visits. I see her 4 to 6 times a month while I see other providers about once a month. I'm considering cutting down on new providers, to make time and save $ for her.
What I like about my atf is it isn't a wife. We get together every couple of months and it's like being with a long lost girlfriend. In between I see a few others some are younger, cutier, better body, but they are not my atf.