Like you I have PLENTY of P 411 okays, and out of my last 2-300 dates booked through P 411 I can't think of a single one that that insistent and indiscrete as the one you encountered. Quite frankly, I can only think of a couple of P 411 ladies that asked me for anything more than the information they cold glean from the P 411 profile.
Full disclosure however, I am not in NYC. I am in Texas and things might be different in NY. I agree with you, I wouldn't jump through all those hoops to see any woman and I don't care about sharing my personal information. It's the whole jumping through hoops and having to "apply" for a date that I find off putting and something I flat out refuse to do.I ran into an unusual (for me anyway) situation the other day while trying to arrange a meeting with an upscale NYC provider that left me pretty uncomfortable, and I'm wondering how common it is and what if anything others do in this situation. Basically after contacting the provider in my usual way (email and P411), introducing myself, and laying out the time and date I was interested in, I got back an email from her assistant saying that references weren't enough that I needed to give my full legal name, employment info, company website, etc... so that I could be "verified". I responded that for my own safely I didn't give out personal info like that and asked if instead they could just contact some of my many OKs on P411 and verify me that way (she had P411 access, I know because she accessed my account). I also offered to show my drivers license (with last name obscured) to provide I was the owner of the P411 account. Anyway I just got back a further request to email her all the same info, and I figured at that point it was time to move on. Shame really because the woman seemed lovely, and I'm a good client.
I do quite a bit of travelling and this is the first time I've ever encountered an independent provider who was unwilling to verify with P411 and/or references and insisting on having personal info. Despite their claim that they would delete it afterwards, I think its too risky to send off this type of info in an email, never knowing where it is going to wind up or how it might be used. That said I'm wondering how common this is, and whether others regularly run into this type of thing. Is it more prevalent in NY compared to the rest of the country? Are others providing this type of info and just risking it? And finally what the reason for it? I thought verification was to confirm clients were safe, respectful and met their obligations and clearly dozens of P411 OKs should confirm all that ... so why does a provider insist on having personal info that could cause a client many difficulties if it ever became public. It seems to me like this defeats the whole point of a verification service
the provider doesn't want to take any chances but feels it's OK for you to play it risky.
Find someone else who is able to play it safe for both of you
Not too many johns are being murdered by their hookers.
Girls can ask for anything they want as it is there safety and their right.
Now we don't have to agree to giving them anything.
We can just go to girl #2 on our list.
Never did it any other way
When a woman takes references, that means she is trusting her safety to the word of some other provider. And she doesn't know that provider. For some, references are great. OK's and whitelistings are terrific. For others, they want to verify information for their own safety. Some people don't trust sites like P411. No one has to use a verification site if they don't want to, and if they do use it, that doesn't mean they have to go with the site's recommendations. Everyone involved needs to feel comfortable.
There is nothing wrong with either system. You just need to limit yourself to the women who's screening process is compatible with your comfort level
You're right, there are flaws in both systems.
Perhaps we should create a hobbyists DNA registry. I mean, if incontrovertible proof of one's' ID is an absolute prerequisite to an appointment, there it is.
e all have to do what works best for ourselves. There are many hobbyists out there who are willing to take one for the proverbial team by seeing an un-reviewed (or very limited reviewed) provider. God bless them. Conversely, there are other hobbyists who require 20 recent reviews from reputable/reliable reviewers, and a personal website (not just a back-page or Eros ad) before they are comfortable seeing a lady. Everybody has a different comfort level.
Obviously, every lady as well screens differently. For some P411 "ok's" are sufficient. For others, they want 3 provider references. Some ladies will accept multiple whitelist referrals while others want to verify your place of employment. No rules.
As Waterclone said, you can't change how a lady chooses to screen. You either accept her screening process (no matter how strange or out of sorts it appears to be) or simply say no thank you and move to another lady on your list.
In the scenario you described above, I would have presumed your P411 Okay's would be sufficient. Obviously, it was not and I understand your frustration. If you are unwilling to follow her rules, nothing you can do but move on
I totally agree on the need to match the limits on what info a client can provide with the screening process of the provider -- and when the two don't match you just have to move on. I guess what surprised me was the non-discreteness of the screening process that I ran into -- felt more like getting a mortgage than booking a date, and since I hadn't run into it before I wondered if it was more common in NYC than elsewhere. Anyway I guess I'll find out on future visits. Thanks again for the advice and comments
Like you I have PLENTY of P 411 okays, and out of my last 2-300 dates booked through P 411 I can't think of a single one that that insistent and indiscrete as the one you encountered. Quite frankly, I can only think of a couple of P 411 ladies that asked me for anything more than the information they cold glean from the P 411 profile.
Full disclosure however, I am not in NYC. I am in Texas and things might be different in NY.
I agree with you, I wouldn't jump through all those hoops to see any woman and I don't care about sharing my personal information. It's the whole jumping through hoops and having to "apply" for a date that I find off putting and something I flat out refuse to do.
However, she has a high profile day job. She needs the personal info to ensure no one will out her. If you are not comfortable giving it out just find another provider.
I check into a hotel using my real info....
I will need to know who you are before I will invite you over
you have me over a barrel when you are in my roo
And its just that...a verification service, nothing more. It has flaws just as with anything else here. Sometimes its not enough for some women (myself included) as far as screening is concerned. We all do what we're comfortable with. I am no longer part of that site for the loopholes I found to be present there. But to each his or her own. Only provide what you are comfortable providing and move on if its too much for you. Keep in mind, screening is for your safety as well as ours in this regard.
Take care
Gia xo
I do quite a bit of travelling and this is the first time I've ever encountered an independent provider who was unwilling to verify with P411 and/or references and insisting on having personal info. Despite their claim that they would delete it afterwards, I think its too risky to send off this type of info in an email, never knowing where it is going to wind up or how it might be used. That said I'm wondering how common this is, and whether others regularly run into this type of thing. Is it more prevalent in NY compared to the rest of the country? Are others providing this type of info and just risking it? And finally what the reason for it? I thought verification was to confirm clients were safe, respectful and met their obligations and clearly dozens of P411 OKs should confirm all that ... so why does a provider insist on having personal info that could cause a client many difficulties if it ever became public. It seems to me like this defeats the whole point of a verification service.
I would hope that my P411 profile would suffice for most providers and it does. For the ones who desire more info, I understand their reasons, but I feel that I don't need to provide my personal info, if they're not providing theirs, so I move on. If their business succeeds with their strict screening process, then good for them. But, I'm not going to contribute to it, as there are plenty of providers who accept my P411 profile. I do know of some instances where johns have been blackballed by providers, threatening to contact their employer, friends, family, etc. Why would I subject myself to that? Seems like an easy way for the provider to get herself a nice rating...
They said they needed my real first and last name to have an appointment, even though I've been on TER for years (with many reviews they could reference) and have been whitelisted.
I had a bad experience being extorted by a provider, so I no longer provide my real info. I asked that they check with providers I've seen, but they refused and I ended up not having the session, which was disappointing
Good for you, Dynomite. There is certainly no need for any of us to expose ourselves to potential extortion.