After taking some time away from the boards, mainly due to work demands, I wanted to ask this question.. I have my option based on my experience, some good, some bad, but I wanted to compare to others.
Providers are easier to find.
but in truth it all depends on whether the OP is simply looking for some "strange" or if he wants more intimacy than he is getting at home.
There is no right or wrong answer to this question, only right or wrong for each individual.
I miss the the real intimacy that builds over time.. but that usually turns into a clingy girl that complains that your never have time anymore..Lol However I do enjoy the availability and the variety in hobbying.. both pretty much cost something..Lol I guess I respect thy ladies that provide more than the side chick, because at least they make the cheater pay for her time instead of giving it up for free, hoping that he leaves home one day..
Sounds like a sugar baby is what would be good for you. You get the best of both worlds....NSA, no drama, few demands like an escort, but with caring romantic friendship that builds over time.
I'm too young for a sugar baby..Lol.. I'm not even 40..Lol but I get what your saying.. But really.. sugar babies are the same as escorting.. they rotate several guys that take care if them.. But more lying involved.. with escorting at least you get to read reviews on anothers experience, plus its all laid out. No surprises.. well unless the pics are photo shopped.. But that's the other thread. Lmao
Oh, you need a FWB then. LOL I didn't realize you were so young. The sugar gods blessed me once with a 24 year old with the stamina of a jackelope. Nice guy too busy for a real GF and liked helping me out in more ways than one.
Yes, lots of lying involved. But, some babies do only have one. For the right price, I would have had only one instead of juggling a few. Not after becoming an escort though. Way more fun and much safer, IMO.
But, I disagree that sugaring is the same as escorting. Traditional sugar arrangements are based on a caring romantic friendship with sex being a part of that arrangement.
Providers are rentals; a side chick is more akin to a purchase in that the relationship doesn't end the moment you walk out the door.
I've had a few side chicks over the years; one became very complicated. I have another one *now* but I've managed it a lot better, so it's really a pure "fuck buddy" arrangement - we don't even go to lunch.
The problem with most side chick arrangements is that they aren't *really* side chick arrangements - they are affairs. That is, both parties become emotionally invested in the relationship. This happened with my last side chick a couple of years ago (a stupidly young (19) stripper at Follies); I should have nixed it when she started "planning a future", but she was too hot and too great a fuck.
My current is also very young (22 to my 47), but she's an escort, so she's already down with the compartmentalization of sexuality needed to be a side chick. This is pretty rare in women, and probably mostly something you'll find in a provider... so, in my case, it's a convergence of "provider" and "side chick". She's "free", though, for me.
Except in the rare case (such as my current), I definitely think providers are the way to go - really, you can even have a "side chick-like" relationship with them, just by being a regular; I've certainly broken bread with and hung out with plenty of providers, simply because we'd built a rapport, always remembering that bedtime was a transaction. "Keeping it real" as one girl I know used to say.
I think a side chick arrangement can work IF:
(i) she genuinely just loves fucking you
(ii) you never, ever do anything "nice" or "romantic", such as giving gifts
(iii) you always decline favors (rides, lending money) which venture into "friends with benefits" territory
(iv) you never discuss anything personal.
This last point is critical. In the case of my side chick, I text her "I want to see you", and when she replies I meet her at her place, we fuck and have loads of fun, and then I leave. I know nothing about her, nor she me - and we keep it that way. Once you start "knowing" a side chick, feelings and jealousies come into play, and THAT is when things get complicated.
Some thoughts,
$
I'm going to say choose a provider!!!! But of course I'm a little bias, lol
I've actually been struggling with this on and off for the last year....I've had about 3 amazing side-girlfriend relationships formed through a SD website.
Side Girlfriend (Pros)
- LONG MEETINGS: If they have their own place and live in a convenient to get to place....it can be some ultra grand prolonged extremely intimate moments (your time and spend goes much further)
- Outdoor GFE: It feels REALLY nice to go out and have a beautiful woman on your arm treating you like you're her entire world. That newbie public girlfriend thing is so so nice (easier to pull off in a large city)
- Payments/Gifts can fluctuate as you see fit (evens out for the most part though if you're smart about it)
Side Girlfriend (Cons)
- Sometimes they get needy (may ask for 'gifts' beyond the pay-to-play-right-now meetings that the hobby provides/some may even want allowances)
- Can confuse you (feelings work both ways and its easy to think you're falling for one of them...and some of them want it)
- Can be harder to break off (have to keep your head straight and keep everyone 'playing their part')
- If they don't have their own place ... if you want to meet to be intimate .. you have to get a hotel ... if you're an incall sort of person -- its an extra cost
- Over time it could turn into a 'sigh same ole' type of thing sexually (which is why you have to find someone that is a 8-9.5 in looks in your book if you're going to do the side-chick thing)
I still lean hobby but the side-chick game can be a wonderful thing.
-- Modified on 3/26/2014 9:48:15 AM
Always lease a depreciating asset! LO
I just like to have fun with different ladies without it getting complicated. That's why I have been using a lot more agencies nowadays. All I have to do is email the agency and they will send a hot young lady over. Since I am using the agency. The lady doesn't know my contact info nor do I. This is really a good thing it prevents any confusion on either side.
Since I love fucking a new lady. I never see a lady for back to back dates. This helps keeps my emotions in check.
Rotate between a few atf. Girls and be careful with the young ones they get attached easy. Keep your distance unless you want jealous issues.
J
...FREE in life. You will pay for it one way or another.
There is a lot to be said about having someone on the side that wants to be your "partner in crime". We all want the younger, hot mistress....but a more mature woman close to your age can handle it better and actually have a higher sex drive. And if you don't think there will be an emotional attachment somewhere down the line you are just fooling yourself. Social Media is the Pandora's Box for creeping...even if you don't have such accounts, someone close to you does, and eventually your Side playmate will get curious (or you may creep on them).
Eventually, this "Free" pussy will start to mess with your head and you will have to be able to execute your exit strategy without any consequences. Breakups suck, but it's a part of life and a part of playing such a dangerous game.
As far as being a hobbyist, if you are smart, and do your research (i.e.TER)....you can have a lot of fun, fulfill some fantasies, and meet some great people. BUT most importantly, it is most discreet of the two!!
About a year ago I met a great woman on an SD site. (She is 45 and I'm 52). She is totally not what you would expect from one of those sites. She is an elementary school teacher, very smart with kids, divorced and just needed a little help making ends meet. She is the typical mid 40's suburban mom. She is smoking hot and the sex is out of this world. A thousand time better than sex with my wife. She understands my situation and doesn't have a problem with it. I think it helps her out with her busy schedule her kids require and she seems to enjoy the sex. We meet a few times a month at a hotel, and she puts the hotel in her name. I really enjoy the situation. I hope to keep it going for some time.