Okay, I finally signed up for one month and replied to several emails that I had received with my free account. I asked one if she would like to meet up, and she replied, "Yeah would love to, what arrangement are you looking for?"
How much or how little should I say in reply?I've found that until you get comfortable and confident with your approach, less is more in the messaging back and forth and the less you say the less chance you have to stick your foot in your mouth or scare her off. Now, this is not a one-size-fits-all approach... some girls will appreciate a more direct messaging approach, others will not. I've found success by being direct about certain things and non-committal about other things. Again this is just has been what has worked for me.
In response to her question "what arrangement are you looking for"... I usually respond with something to the effect of "I'm looking for an NSA FWB arrangement with financial assistance for you. And you?" I've found that this response clears the field for chicks that are not looking to be intimate while letting them also know you want to compensate them for BCD time. The best SBs imo are the ones who are just looking for a little casual fun in bed in exchange for you helping them with their bills. If you can establish yourself as a successful confident gentleman who is looking for the same and is not a self-absorbed dick, you can get pretty far with these girls.
Good luck
Thanks for the advice. It turns out, that's just what she is looking for too. But now she wants my starting price. I know from reading here that that's a no-no. Should I reply that I won't discuss that prior to a meet?
In response to her question "what arrangement are you looking for"... I usually respond with something to the effect of "I'm looking for an NSA FWB arrangement with financial assistance for you. And you?" I've found that this response clears the field for chicks that are not looking to be intimate while letting them also know you want to compensate them for BCD time. The best SBs imo are the ones who are just looking for a little casual fun in bed in exchange for you helping them with their bills. If you can establish yourself as a successful confident gentleman who is looking for the same and is not a self-absorbed dick, you can get pretty far with these girls.
Good luck
Congratulations on jumping in! I will often reach out with the first communication that states what i am looking for. It basically follows the model junglegym suggests. I also imclude my desired frequency (2-3 times per month) despite the fact that, in reality, it is always "date to date" for me. Women dont like "transactional," so i have found that leading with "2-3 times per month, ongoing" has gotten good results. I also have no problem throwing out the first $$$ number. It is my comfort number and i make it clear that has been the level i have been at before with others. No one has ever rejected it in disgust...although many will negotiate. For me, this is about banging hot chicks for a number i am comfortable with... NOT about trying to get them for the lowest amount possible. This give me a little wiggle room to go up with my offer, and keeps from trying to lowball a hottie and missing out. Good luck!
-- Modified on 2/17/2017 7:00:00 AM
I'm grateful for all the pointers regarding diving into the SD/SB world. I'm setting up to meet with a few ladies off of SA next week just for a casual coffee/lunch meet/greet. What is everyone's opinion on giving a small allowance (half bill) for the first meet up? Or, is it best to request that the first meet is no allowance? Thanks in advance.
Pay for first meet is generally frowned upon. See attached thread.
I'm new too. I've try to set up a coffee meet and have been successful with that once. That SB we hit it off and went for BCD that night. It was awesome. After that time she wanted to renegotiate to a much higher allowance. That SB gone. My next SB chickened out on coffee but a week later met me at a hotel. She was much larger than her pics revealed. I figured what the heck the room is paid for and she was great! She's on the rotation. Since 3 SBs and they will talk but no show for a meet and greet. I want them comfortable and I set up what my allowance is (they like), tell them it's a 2-3 times a month thing etc. They seem to be as flaky as some providers. With a pro at least they know and accept what's going on. What am I missing?
I think your experience is typical. I think, for many, the idea of $$$$ sounds great because they like sex and, what the heck, why should they fuck a guy their age for free, if they can find a nice, older guy to do it with who will "spoil" them? But, in the end, many chicken out. It is rare for me, in fact I don't think it has ever happened, that I had a meet and greet set and I got a text to the effect " I have thought about this, and I really can't go through with it." Rather, they go silent. I always text to confirm they day before and the day of. Frequently, on the day before , it is an enthusiastic "yes, I can't wait to meet!!" But, on the day of...nothing. I have come to expect this as part of the deal. I have avoided being stood up because of this process, but it can get frustrating if you think of it as time lost during the set up process. That being said, I have much more succes, lately, with offering a public meet and greet OR a "get to know you bottle of wine" at my home. As a single guy, I can offer this, and the serious ones seem to take the bottle of wine option... Cheaper for me too. So, I have a gift card waiting for them. I will not pay for a meet and greet, but when the meet and greet is at my home, I think I increase my "mileage" by showing a small token of my appreciation
I dont have a set routine. I leave it up to the lady how she wants to meet. I've done lunch, dinner, coffee and just come to my place. The meals I'm done with. I dont want to have an awkward expensive meal with someone that I have no interest in.
My only absolute rule is I want to know her expectations for $$$ and I want to be sure she is ok fucking an old guy.
I have found there are a lot of fakes and flakes on SA but, over time you can get better at spotting them. I don't pay to have lunch/dinner. I have found that most want you to be direct with them. I ask them for their per meeting number first. If they are reluctant, I give them my figure. I haven't had one turn down my number but, as noted above, a lot of no shows. I don't commit to reserving a hotel room for first timers until they confirm they are in the parking lot. They are all heavier than they look in their photos, some a little, some a lot, lol. Also, of the ones that I have actually hooked up with, a surprising number have friends who want to join us. Good hunting.
Consider a small gift card as a token.
Sorry couldn't resist.
I don't discuss anything monetary before meeting for lunch or dinner. It depends on your chemistry(hopefully she looks like the photos!) and each others availability.
I have tried SA, but no luck. All I encountered were men who wanted to cheat on their wives for free. I am not a "gold-digger" but a guy told me he wanted to meet 4 times a week(sounds like a full time job!) and could offer 1000 a month. Got a lot of free meals though , lol.
Does that mean I could offer a grand a month for "only" twice a week and be a rock star by comparison??? lol
I will say my rather modest $200-300 per multi hour date and $500 for overnights seems to be rather well received in the same Dallas market. Maybe those cheapskates make me look generous by comparison? and I do spring for some might good meal I might add. lol
Maybe it's because I am NOT cheating on my wife, or anyone else for that matter. I am not on SA looking for my "soul mate" but OTOH I am not asking my POT SB to spend all of our dates holed up in cheap hotel rooms while paying them a fraction of hooker rates.
When I see hookers, I typically book single hour dates. When I see SB's I usually like to enjoy the entire evening together, and since I enjoy nice places myself, I don't cheap out on the dinner/drinks etc.
So trying the SA site this week - having interesting results. Lots of interest, but when I get down to scheduling a first meet/greet - no more contact to be had, and it was all super positive before that.
I'll give it more time - but this has got me wondering, anyone else experience this?