Tell her you had a financial setback and need to cut off the sugar. That usually works like a charm.
I currently have 2 wonderful, long term SB on my dance card. I have been seeing both for more than a year. 1 is in DC and the other is closer to work and home well outside DC. I am finding it difficult to meet with the SB in DC. The times we can typically meet require travel during heavy DC traffic adding 2+ hours to our engagements. She is hot, we get along extremely well (on both sides of the door), and we have become good friends.
How do I end a long term arrangement with a hot and sexy friend without burning a bridge? It would be nice if we could,meet less frequently and maintain the"sweet" arrangement, I suspect that will not fly after a year together.
Thoughts?
I don't know if my experience will be helpful, but my SB and I both knew and acknowledged that frequent visits would be very inconvenient. But more importantly, we both were very open about other people in our lives. So she and I both knew she would not/could not be relying solely on me for her support. We had a sweet time whenever we got together, and I always gave her our agreed gift per visit, plus other occasional gifts and treats. We actually have another date scheduled for this week after not seeing each other for a few months.
Do you have a monthly arrangement with your SB? That would make your situation more difficult. But if you could tell her honestly that the demands on your time are becoming burdensome but you really like her and would love to keep seeing her from time to time, maybe she would go for it. Obviously a gift per visit is the only way that's going to work. You really don't want to end this with her, you just need to renegotiate the terms. And you never know, she might be relieved to keep seeing you but less frequently and enjoy more independence!
So don't think you need to 'break up' to end or change the arrangement. These are by definition no-strings-attached relationships. Either of you has the power to stop or ask for change at any time with no reason or explanation required. Either of you have the power to decline a proposed change as well, knowing that the result could be either no change or a full stop.
You don't need to figure out how to avoid burning a bridge; you are both adults and know (or should know) that the SD/SB thing NEVER lasts forever. Circumstances. logistics, tastes and needs change.
At the same time, SB's are not employees that can be fired or laid off (no pun intended) either. When you have spent a considerable about of time being deeply intimate you do develop a certain level of friendship and affection, and perhaps dependence on each other.
My advice is honesty; tell her it's getting harder to make it work over a distance and you'd like to modify the frequency and/or length of visits.
I did this with a SB in Northern California when I moved south to Los Angeles. She was an Iranian Fashion model in her 20's and we met when she turned 33 and is still super hot. Note that she had previously done the same with me when she was offered a "can't refuse" deal from a high roller that wanted her to move in, finance a full ride to get her MBA,provide a car (BMW) plus a 4-digit monthly allowance. I wished her luck and we parted friends with fond memories.
You can probably guess that the high roller didn't work out and she reconnected with me 8 months later. We didn't skip a beat, just resumed wild BCD about once every 6 weeks. Now that I am over 350 miles away from her, she still looks forward to seeing me when I travel up north. This happened last week. She had a 2.5 hour drive to get to me and she even baked me a chocolate rum cake (non-alcoholic as she's a Muslim) for a tasty after-sex treat. She knows that I probably see other SB's in LA and I know she must be seeing other SD's up north. I don't ask and she doesn't either. I don't even think she needs the money, although she has been very specific that's it's expected when we meet. Her last job before she went to see family in Iran over the holidays was a VP Sales at a company that competes with mine!
Paid her rent for too months upon leaving. Best sex at the time I have ever had. Beautiful body 25. Still sends notes to me. Traded her for another lady that was more of a girlfriend type 44 yrs that could travel and had no restrictions. She is half Latin and loves her sex. 4 o's one night . Wow.
Met her mother and am 9 yrs. her senior. Could be problems later but willing to gamble. Ain't life great.
I got divorced last year and got really active in both the hobby and Sugar scenes, with a few girlfriends along the way. They all have been incredible rides and being a successful and not too ugly guy in his early 50s that takes good care of himself has not hurt. I've definitely met a lot of bad shit crazy along the way in every area.
I found one unicorn. She is a amazing sugar and we see each other when it is convenient for both of us. In every area avoid getting in a relationship where there are expectations. That's not why any of us are here. We see each other at least a few times a month and it's always some of the most amazing sex I have ever had in my life. We may go for a few weeks without talking but then we reconnected and it's just like where we left off. That's called a unicorn!
I thought I had another unicorn and she was a Sugar but went back shit crazy on me last Saturday night and we parted ways Sunday morning. Maybe I was a little brash but I said we are done it has been fun but we are done. I wish you luck and I left.
Another missed unicorn was early on, really amazing in bed, incredibly hot but once I noticed the needle tracks under the make up I put in end to that one by just blocking the phone number and ignoring her. I was a little worried actually.
Persistence and patience in the civilian world. The dating sites are pretty awesome but just be patient check them every 2-3 days. It's a numbers game and about one out of every 10 to 20 will be someone you're interested in trying to meet. When I stay in my wheelhouse great things happen.
Welcome to Atlanta where the players played
She and I have always been honest with each other. I believe she feels the same way I do and will be receptive to less frequent get togethers so long as we can continue to enjoy the good times and the benefits.
Tell her you had a financial setback and need to cut off the sugar. That usually works like a charm.
Excellent suggestion! Financial setback highly probable (or at least highly plausible) with April 15 approaching.
I am optimistic we can move from a monthly allowance to PPM, and meet less frequently than we did when we (or at least I) was motivated to meet often to keep the per meet rate down.
I always start PPM. Never got to monthly lol.surprise
I am optimistic we can move from a monthly allowance to PPM, and meet less frequently than we did when we (or at least I) was motivated to meet often to keep the per meet rate down.
When I feel I don't want to see her that often or don't want to pay her regular rate per date, I tell her I am in a tight financial situation (not a complete lie), and we have to work something out if she wants to see me. They usually give me some discount and let me pay them in several installments (it's like partial IOU). I guess they don't feel like putting their profiles back on SA and start looking again. It is actually a process many SB's dread going through so they would like to stick with someone they are comfortable with for as long as they can.