The providers that have many flattering reviews to their credit are by definition "professionals". Their discretion in respect to your "family" concerns is as paramount to them as is their own continued safety and success in their craft.
Only providers with dubious accountability (IE: no reviews or backchanneled verifications) would fly by the seat of their pants with your “alias” and by very nature these providers would be the greatest risk for you.
I am going to contact a provider via phone soon. Now, I've never done this before, and I am not that great talking on the phone to begin with (I much rather prefer face to face conversations).
What kind of questions would the provider ask? I'd like to have an idea so I can answer fast and without sounding like a huge dork.
Thanks.
First of all, get ready to answer questions about your personal life. Give the provider an idea of what kind of person you are, basically I believe they're looking for someone who's not LE. I don't think you'll have to get your SSN out or anything.
From the phone talks I've had, they don't really ask anything too far out, they usually just try to make some conversation with a few questions sprinkled in.
You'll want to convey to them a basic profile of your desires. For example, when you get on the phone and call them, tell them your name, and a non-explicit description of what you're looking for(and if you have to leave a message, whatever times are good to call you and all that). Then she'll [hopefully] fill in the blanks for you.
Go ahead and do it! I can't guarantee things will go smoothly, but with the right providers, you won't have to worry about how you come across, as they've probably encountered new people before and will definitely understand and help you.
I hope you have a better time getting set up than I did! ^_^
Would I have to give them stuff like my real last name? Or can I make an alias?
The only reason why I ask is because I don't want this getting back to my family.
"The only reason why I ask is because I don't want this getting back to my family."
Trust me, none of us do!
Yes, any reputable lady will require your real full name. When you finally meet, if she requests to see your I.D. and the name doesn't match what she is expecting I don't think you will have a very good time. Given your "newbie" status, it would not be uncommon for her to request your employment information as well. IF you choose well none of this will cause any risk to you, she simply needs some way to make certain that you are who you say you are and don't typically wear a blue uniform to work...
She may call your workplace to verify that you do indeed work there, don't freak out over this, she does this for a living and won't ask your switchboard operator to deliver the message that your hooker called, LOL. The call (if it is made at all) will be discreet, and it is entirely likely that even you won't know it was her.
Every lady screens differently. Many will refuse to see you outright since you don't have references. Just "do your homework", choose a lady who is well reviewed, and be honest with her about who you are and your inexperience. Trust me, the first few times most of us come across as blithering idiots.
The providers that have many flattering reviews to their credit are by definition "professionals". Their discretion in respect to your "family" concerns is as paramount to them as is their own continued safety and success in their craft.
Only providers with dubious accountability (IE: no reviews or backchanneled verifications) would fly by the seat of their pants with your “alias” and by very nature these providers would be the greatest risk for you.
above all maintain respect, humor is usually appreciated and first things first, let her know you are new at this....
When and for how long do you want to meet?
Many providers complain that people contact them and never settle on a time to set up an appointment, which is quite frustrating to them. So have that part of your call all planned out, including some alternate times should those times not coincide with her schedule.
Here is a great way to open:
"Susan", hi this Jim, how are you? (Use your real first name.) She'll say fine. Then you can say, I came across your profile while browsing the TER Boards and am interested in setting up an appointment. (Just saying this will sound professional and without question will put the lady at ease). She'll say okay, when would you like to meet. Here is where you tell her a definite day and time. If you are just browsing and have no idea when you want to meet the lady, tell her IMMEDIATELY. Providers hate guys who just call up without a game plan. If you tell her up front that you are not sure of a definite time and you will check your work schdule and advise, again you are sounding a bit more professional. Also, do not ask her information that is readily obtainable from her website (i.e. rates)
A provider may ask of you enough questions for her to feel comfortable with you to let you into her home/hotel room. This may include your full name (dont lie..if you've done your research you will be contacting a well known provider who will respect your information), what type of work do you do, place of employment (I have had providers take my work number and call me back for verification). Since you have never ventured into the hobby, you will not have a reference. Therefore, you must be prepared to answer the above questions to make the lady comfortable with you. All providers screen differently. The most important aspect is to sound professional on the phone and obviously refrain from any sexual conversation.
Well thank you everybody for your help. I really appreciate it.
The provider I'm seeing doesn't have a website or any other info other than a phone number, but she advertises on craigslist a lot, around 2-3 times a day, (IDK if thats good or bad) She does have reviews here though, I'm choosing her because she's in my general area, as I don't feel too comfortable going to somewhere I don't know very well.
I would be comfortable in saying that most seasoned hobbyists would NOT recommend seeing a lady on Craig's List. Now while there are some reputable ladies on CL (and the lady you plan to contact could be one of them) a lot of the ladies are low quality (in terms of service, professionalism and overall class) or worse complete ripoffs or LE traps. The fact your lady is advertising 2-3 times a day to me indicates a high call volume provider. If you want to see her, its up to you, but you may find better options elsewhere. Now I know you said she had some reviews here; just make sure they sound legitimate. (I always look extra hard at reviews about CL ladies). My advice is that since this is your first time calling a provider, again, you might be better off contacting a well reviewed TER lady (one with her own website and not just a CL posting)as opposed to a random lady advertising multiple times on Craig's List.
-- Modified on 5/8/2007 8:03:58 AM