You're compromising your privacy simply by being in the hobby. How do you know who the "best ladies" are out there when you're not seeing them all because you limit yourself based on anonymity?
You do realize P411 has been infiltrated and compromised before. And this is why I won't simply just take a P411 verification either. Think about this...if you're "self-employed", who are they calling to verify your employment? You. How in the world does that ensure my safety? How does that guarantee me you're not really a cop if they are solely relying on your "word" only that you own ABC Company? I simply cannot accept any other methods of verification since they are so very flawed. I also cannot take the "word" of another provider only that someone is "okay", as what she considers "okay", I may not. Especially if she's not screening by gathering the information to make sure you're not a convicted rapist, pedophile, murderer, etc. That in and of itself is not "okay" to me. Do you know how many girls don't even bother to check the blacklist before booking an appointment because they've been told "oh, he's okay" by a lady that didn't thoroughly screen and then they end up seeing a really bad seed and now he's got another "okay"? How can I then rely on her word? Do you know how many times I've checked references and the email reply I get is simply "he's good". That doesn't cut it for me. Do you know how times I've been told someone was "okay" and ended up robbed, ass-raped and/or drugged? It's happened. Men indeed behave differently with different women. Other times I've been given an "okay" and I don't know on what planet this guy could've been considered "okay". Just because she's rated a 9 means she's pretty and she's good at what she does. It doesn't mean she conducts her business affairs such as methods of screening to my standards, so saying I should take a lady's word simply because she's highly rated is ludicrous. Doesn't mean I'm "insulting" her either because she doesn't do things the way I do. But saying you're John Smith and presenting a wad of cash is not "okay" to me. Means she will just about see anyone, and that's her prerogative to do so, it's just not how I choose to conduct my business. I enjoy being more selective and I think that too makes my company feel more comfortable as well. I have to know exactly WHO is on the other side of that door. Having no identity means he walks away with no ramifications for misbehavior. Are my methods perfect? No. But since I've had this policy I've had no issues. I fail to see how using fake information mitigates your risk of exposure. More times than not, you're still showing up in your car with your license plate, you're still carrying your wallet with your information, you could've been followed if the wifey suspects something. Sometimes you're using a room registered in your name. The provider can follow you home if she's a lunatic. Using fake info does little to nothing to limit your risk. I'm not storing anyone's information. I'm not using anyone's private information for anything other than safety and comfort. 90% of the gentleman I see are married. No one wants your wife and kids to find out, we all lose out if that happens. If I were some BSC provider misusing information I'd be slitting my own throat. Word would get out, and my career would be over. That's the last thing I want. There is a big difference between being discreet with private info and anonymity. Many confuse the two. When you guys have a professionally maintained website advertising yourself as an escort, exposing nude photos to the public with sexually explicit reviews attached to them, then it's time to be overly concerned about your identity. Fortunately, there are no shortage of gentleman willing to provide the information and based on my reviews, they are very happy they did so and their private information has never been compromised. So I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. And while I can respect your opinion and stance on the matter, I do think the guys are missing out on some amazing providers : (It's a straw-man argument to say that because a provider doesn't ask for your full name, she'll see anyone, not to mention that it belittles many high end providers who don't insist on that level of intrusion into the lives of their clients. There are many highly reviewed providers who will only accept verification through references of select other highly reviewed providers whom they know and trust. That system was created to avoid you having to give your personal information out to dozens of strangers who could find out pretty much anything about you. If you had been wrong about trusting even one of them, it could spell disaster. You may have nothing to hide, but much to lose.
Even assuming you have complete faith in a provider and trust that she would never misuse your personal information, you would still be exposing yourself to a lot of risk by giving it to her. Where is she storing that information? Maybe she only keeps it long enough to "research" you and then deletes it (even deleted information on a hard drive can be retrieved). But, where is she keeping it even if it's a short time? Does she have a roommate or significant other who might gain access to this information? Do she consistently delete her browser history? Could her computer/email account be compromised? Now multiply this risk by the number of providers you would see over some period of time. It's just too much risk. Now, the standard response from providers that require this personal information is that you're free to chose another provider. And that's precisely the choice you should make here.
Unfortunately, you may have to miss out on a few gems in order to protect your privacy. But, it's a small price to pay. Most of the best providers out there will still see you if you have well regarded providers who can vouch for you. Vote with your feet. -- Modified on 4/18/2015 4:46:29 PM
for her screening process? i am VERY hesitant about doing this, so I'm curious about the opinions of my fellow hobbyists. Thanks for you input.
I'm not doing anything weird or bad with your private information. Don't confuse discretion with anonymity. I need to know exactly WHO is on the other side of the door for safety and comfortability.
I have no vantage point to misusing private information, as doing it just once would mean the end of my career.
You should far more fear the ladies that will see any "John Smith"..
I have many many futures plans and endeavors that will be endangered should I decide to take unnecessary risk. Verification reassures both parties comfort. As you said, any girl willing to see any "Joe Doe" with nothing more than a fake name perhaps does not care about her present and future plans. As long as the lady is established, reputable and verifiable (website, reviews, photos) you shouldn't have to worry. We have no business using your info for any other purpose other than verification.
-- Modified on 4/18/2015 2:23:12 PM
I second that And very well put...
There are bad people on both sides. If providing real info is that important that you expect to be trusted with it, why would it be unreasonable for the hobbiest to ask for the same level of information to ensure their own safety? If someone did, would you provide it? I highly doubt it.
Lol. Absolutely your choice to do what makes you feel safe.
The smart thing for any hobbyist is to avoid any policy like yours ...plenty of fish...and asymmetric information is dangerous...
It's important not confuse the need to protect one's privacy with malicious intent. We live in a community where we're consistently seeking trust from others and safety for ourselves. If a provider won't trust the word of ANY of her fellow providers, but asks to be trusted with your most personal information, you need to move on.
It's a straw-man argument to say that because a provider doesn't ask for your full name, she'll see anyone, not to mention that it belittles many high end providers who don't insist on that level of intrusion into the lives of their clients. There are many highly reviewed providers who will only accept verification through references of select other highly reviewed providers whom they know and trust. That system was created to avoid you having to give your personal information out to dozens of strangers who could find out pretty much anything about you. If you had been wrong about trusting even one of them, it could spell disaster. You may have nothing to hide, but much to lose.
Even assuming you have complete faith in a provider and trust that she would never misuse your personal information, you would still be exposing yourself to a lot of risk by giving it to her. Where is she storing that information? Maybe she only keeps it long enough to "research" you and then deletes it (even deleted information on a hard drive can be retrieved). But, where is she keeping it even if it's a short time? Does she have a roommate or significant other who might gain access to this information? Do she consistently delete her browser history? Could her computer/email account be compromised? Now multiply this risk by the number of providers you would see over some period of time. It's just too much risk. Now, the standard response from providers that require this personal information is that you're free to chose another provider. And that's precisely the choice you should make here.
Unfortunately, you may have to miss out on a few gems in order to protect your privacy. But, it's a small price to pay. Most of the best providers out there will still see you if you have well regarded providers who can vouch for you. Vote with your feet.
-- Modified on 4/18/2015 4:46:29 PM
You're compromising your privacy simply by being in the hobby. How do you know who the "best ladies" are out there when you're not seeing them all because you limit yourself based on anonymity?
You do realize P411 has been infiltrated and compromised before. And this is why I won't simply just take a P411 verification either. Think about this...if you're "self-employed", who are they calling to verify your employment? You. How in the world does that ensure my safety? How does that guarantee me you're not really a cop if they are solely relying on your "word" only that you own ABC Company? I simply cannot accept any other methods of verification since they are so very flawed.
I also cannot take the "word" of another provider only that someone is "okay", as what she considers "okay", I may not. Especially if she's not screening by gathering the information to make sure you're not a convicted rapist, pedophile, murderer, etc. That in and of itself is not "okay" to me. Do you know how many girls don't even bother to check the blacklist before booking an appointment because they've been told "oh, he's okay" by a lady that didn't thoroughly screen and then they end up seeing a really bad seed and now he's got another "okay"? How can I then rely on her word? Do you know how many times I've checked references and the email reply I get is simply "he's good". That doesn't cut it for me.
Do you know how times I've been told someone was "okay" and ended up robbed, ass-raped and/or drugged? It's happened. Men indeed behave differently with different women. Other times I've been given an "okay" and I don't know on what planet this guy could've been considered "okay". Just because she's rated a 9 means she's pretty and she's good at what she does. It doesn't mean she conducts her business affairs such as methods of screening to my standards, so saying I should take a lady's word simply because she's highly rated is ludicrous. Doesn't mean I'm "insulting" her either because she doesn't do things the way I do. But saying you're John Smith and presenting a wad of cash is not "okay" to me. Means she will just about see anyone, and that's her prerogative to do so, it's just not how I choose to conduct my business. I enjoy being more selective and I think that too makes my company feel more comfortable as well.
I have to know exactly WHO is on the other side of that door. Having no identity means he walks away with no ramifications for misbehavior. Are my methods perfect? No. But since I've had this policy I've had no issues. I fail to see how using fake information mitigates your risk of exposure. More times than not, you're still showing up in your car with your license plate, you're still carrying your wallet with your information, you could've been followed if the wifey suspects something. Sometimes you're using a room registered in your name. The provider can follow you home if she's a lunatic. Using fake info does little to nothing to limit your risk.
I'm not storing anyone's information. I'm not using anyone's private information for anything other than safety and comfort. 90% of the gentleman I see are married. No one wants your wife and kids to find out, we all lose out if that happens. If I were some BSC provider misusing information I'd be slitting my own throat. Word would get out, and my career would be over. That's the last thing I want.
There is a big difference between being discreet with private info and anonymity. Many confuse the two. When you guys have a professionally maintained website advertising yourself as an escort, exposing nude photos to the public with sexually explicit reviews attached to them, then it's time to be overly concerned about your identity.
Fortunately, there are no shortage of gentleman willing to provide the information and based on my reviews, they are very happy they did so and their private information has never been compromised. So I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. And while I can respect your opinion and stance on the matter, I do think the guys are missing out on some amazing providers : (
It's a straw-man argument to say that because a provider doesn't ask for your full name, she'll see anyone, not to mention that it belittles many high end providers who don't insist on that level of intrusion into the lives of their clients. There are many highly reviewed providers who will only accept verification through references of select other highly reviewed providers whom they know and trust. That system was created to avoid you having to give your personal information out to dozens of strangers who could find out pretty much anything about you. If you had been wrong about trusting even one of them, it could spell disaster. You may have nothing to hide, but much to lose.
Even assuming you have complete faith in a provider and trust that she would never misuse your personal information, you would still be exposing yourself to a lot of risk by giving it to her. Where is she storing that information? Maybe she only keeps it long enough to "research" you and then deletes it (even deleted information on a hard drive can be retrieved). But, where is she keeping it even if it's a short time? Does she have a roommate or significant other who might gain access to this information? Do she consistently delete her browser history? Could her computer/email account be compromised? Now multiply this risk by the number of providers you would see over some period of time. It's just too much risk. Now, the standard response from providers that require this personal information is that you're free to chose another provider. And that's precisely the choice you should make here.
Unfortunately, you may have to miss out on a few gems in order to protect your privacy. But, it's a small price to pay. Most of the best providers out there will still see you if you have well regarded providers who can vouch for you. Vote with your feet.
-- Modified on 4/18/2015 4:46:29 PM
most of the top-rated ladies in TER do not require personal information, but require good references from reputable providers. You're right that I'm compromising my privacy by being in the hobby, which is specifically why I don't want to compromise it further by spreading my personal information around to dozens of strangers.
As much luck as you've obviously had seeing great gentlemen who are happy to open up their lives to you, I too have found that I do not need to compromise (or risk compromising) my privacy to see a lot of fantastic ladies.
That's the great thing about the hobby: there's something for everyone.
...I've established a very good rep via P411 so I haven't been asked for it very often. I would give it to a select few ladies that do require it... But only based on my assessment of their integrity and my desire to see them.
-- Modified on 4/18/2015 4:17:49 PM
That is a recipe for disaster
If you've got plenty of P411 OKs and a review history, most girls will not require personal info. It's really no big deal for me because I'm pretty "out" with what I do, have no job, no wife, etc.
After all, that is why men join these sites right?
For me, it is a last resort verification. If you have provider references and can be verified here or through similar sites, personal information is not necessary. Even when it is required, it is not saved past verification. We ALL have to play safe. That is just another way we ladies can weed out the undesirables and keep you gentlemen happy. An assured playmate is a frisky one! 
Happy hobbyin!
If he has p411 and reviews , iam fine without last name 
I agree with any provider wanting private info for safety reasons but how about once you clear that hurdle how about the providers providing us with facial pictures other then tease shots to see what we are getting involved with. My thoughts on this is it goes both ways! Love to hear the ladies thoughts on this.
I openly show my face in my photos, but I understand why a lot of ladies don't.
There is never a reason to send a "tease" shot. That's just wanting free JO material...either you want to see me or you don't.
Alexandra your the exception to the rule when it come to facial shots on a providers website, I was referring to the tease once the screening process is complete and a women might be sending teasing body shots and so forth.
Why do providers need to send anything. A tease picture ? For what so you guys can jerk off too and then cancel them or no show. Come on now! If a provider is well reviewed then providing information should be done - if not then go to back page or something where your most likely to get caught with trouble!
Blue or unblur (reviews speaks truth)
LE in places like Montgomery county Maryland comes to hotels with providers pictures and shows them to front desk stay asking if the provider is in the hotel. Then they watch the room and question guys that come out of the hotel room. Use that information to get a arrest and search warrant. One provider that I know checked out the hotel just in time. Her client saw LE show the front desk her picture.
Suicide by cop!
It's suicide nonetheless, just more unpredictable of when...
No guy should give more information than they are comfortable and no woman should see any guy who won't provide the information she needs to feel safe.
For women who want it, there are plenty of guys who will happily provide their real name, home address and work phone number.
For guys who want it, there are plenty of women who will happily see you with just references. Or P411, or even nothing at all.
There are enough people at every level of verification comfort to suit everyone.
So, if you don't want to give up that info, then find someone who doesn't want it. But if you want to see someone who requires that info, then be prepared to either give it to her, or just move on. No point in fighting about it or trying to get her to do something she is uncomfortable with.
Gets me through the door and into bed with the ladies I want to see... :