What do you mean by no attraction? Do you mean that she might look less attractive than the picture? If she does not look like the picture, I feel you can chalk that up to false advertising and walk away. I once walked out on an agency who did a bait and switch. The girl was obviously not the one advertised.
"No chemistry" is pretty tricky. I once went to a provider who was young and pretty but not overly friendly, just mechanical. I went through with it and paid her. No regrets, I got mine, but I gave her a fair review and decided not to see her again. In retrospect, I think I could have still walked away and felt alright. Hospitality and friendliness are part of the job. If the provider in question found me objectionable for whatever reason, she should have turned me away rather than go through with laboriously unpleasant sex. Neither of us had a good time.
If you already suspect that you're not going to have a good time, it is NOT cool to go through with it and then demand money back.
My newbie question is: what happens if you call and make your first appointment for a provider. Upon arrival you feel absolutely NO chemistry or attraction whatsoever and want to leave asap! Will she demand some type of compensation? or what?
I realize it's my $$$ and I would hope that I could just walk away clean
Show money between 1/2 and $. If you choose wisely, this shouldn't happen. Get a VIP membership and read the reviews.
What do you mean by no attraction? Do you mean that she might look less attractive than the picture? If she does not look like the picture, I feel you can chalk that up to false advertising and walk away. I once walked out on an agency who did a bait and switch. The girl was obviously not the one advertised.
"No chemistry" is pretty tricky. I once went to a provider who was young and pretty but not overly friendly, just mechanical. I went through with it and paid her. No regrets, I got mine, but I gave her a fair review and decided not to see her again. In retrospect, I think I could have still walked away and felt alright. Hospitality and friendliness are part of the job. If the provider in question found me objectionable for whatever reason, she should have turned me away rather than go through with laboriously unpleasant sex. Neither of us had a good time.
If you already suspect that you're not going to have a good time, it is NOT cool to go through with it and then demand money back.
If it is a case of bait and switch, or the provider has been deliberately deceptive about her appearance - ie photos retouched to the point of barely resembling reality - then its your right to leave without paying.
Would she demand compensation if you decide to leave if you simply don't feel any chemistry? That depends on the provider. Is it the right thing to do? Absolutely. She made time to see you. She quite possibly had to tell someone else she couldn't see them in order to see you. If you choose to leave without compensating her at least in part for her time, then you have just cost her money, essentially holding her solely accountable for the fact that the two of you didn't click. Paying the full donation probably isn't necessary, but it would be appropriate to pay half, for instance, to compensate for the lost session.
Assuming no bait and switch, you should leave at least 1/2 of the donation... but I am curious that this would occur anyway, if you have done your homework... I would also say how can you really determine if you have chemistry unless you sample the goods?
You should not walk away clean whatever the case - she has laid out a slot of time for you which she cannot get back... it is the same as renting a room in a hotel where you lose your deposit if you do not show up.... they cannot get back the rental on that space. It may seem crass to compare this to renting hotel rooms, but the one constant I always notice folks seem to forget is that THIS IS A BUSINESS for the providers - don't kid yourself.
I would leave 1/2.
But you can't tell (or at least i can't) about the chemistry thing until the session is under way if there is any chemistry. Sometimes things start slow and finish with a big bang 
, other times the initial sparkles fizzle before the end. Kinda like relationships in cv life.
Don't expect every time is a great time, first time or not. I still get a disappointment now and then again, but I figure that's good for character building, right ? Unless the initial negative feelings are extreme, which hasn't happened to me yet, I'd go thru with it. And I have been pleasantly surprised and rewarded. Some providers sense my lack of excitement and work extra hard to please.
Good luck,
- MS
hotel chain?
When you hold a room with a credit card, and don't let them know by, say 6 PM, that you're not showing up, you've paid for the room.
Why should it be any different for an escort?
She's spent $ on the hotel, dolling herself up, adversising, her time verifying you, etc.
Pay and stay, or go; but pay.
The money is for the sex. If you know, upon seeing her, that she will be a disapointment, you should say, "sorry, I'm not interested." and walk away. If there is another reason, like "you look different than in the photos," you can say that too.
If you have not eaten the meal you do not need to pay for the food.
The money is for the time. You'll most likely have sex during the time, but her time is money. If it's a B&S situation, then all bets are off, but if you simply have a change of heart, it's not fair to cheat her of her earnings. How would you feel if the boss came in and said he had a change of heart, so you weren't getting a paycheck this week?
Not the best first impression npaul1.
Are you really suggesting that you can walk out from any restaurant if you haven't touched the food?!? Not likely!!! You can't complain about the taste if you haven't taken a bite.
(her time), then take your broke ass home!
(And don't hobby again!)
1. If you go to a restaurant, order an item, and upon recieving it decide you didn't want it, guess what? They still hand you a bill and expect you to pay up before you leave. What is more, you are expected to pay in full, not half. Most providers however, would be agreeable to less than the full donation.
2. You are NOT paying for sex. It is in fact her time you are paying for. She made the time for you, it is your responsibility to compensate her for the time lost.
3. Walk off without paying and you'll find yourself on every blacklist on the internet. Did you have references before you made the date? Don't count on using them again. Respect works both ways. Treat decent providers like trash, and you will relegate yourself to scraping up a date on CL, and praying you won't get ripped off. Respect gets respect.
Sorry to be blunt, but it sounds like someone needs to inject a little bit of reality here.
Thanks for all of the advice.
I should clarify. Chemistry was perhaps the wrong description. Also, I would never attempt to leave w/o paying. I will stick to the reviewed hottie's for first trip. Thanks again.
What if the provider is obviously uninterested and it feels they will both have an unpleasant time. That's what happened to me with a young but indifferent provider. I went through with it and gave her the full donation, but should I have really had to go through with it? Why couldn't I have just walked away at the beginning with a clear conscience?
Going back to the restaurant analogy: you've made a reservation, but when you get to the restaurant, the atmosphere is not to your liking. Are you still obliged to order and pay for food? If you just walk away without being seated or ordering, does the restaurant make you pay something anyway?
I agree that once a client has decided to go through with it he must pay something. If he feels the service was subpar, he should try to talk to the provider [btw, has any provider ever willingly given back some of the money?]
However, the question is, if the client feels immediate discomfort, and has not yet even engaged the services, why should he pay?
-- Modified on 5/1/2007 8:29:33 PM
If you show up at a restaurant at which you have made a reservation and then decide you wish to leave, the restaurant hasn't lost anything at that point. They can easily seat someone else at the table intended for you, and never miss a beat. That is not the case with a provider. When you compare the analogy of ordering a dish, then simply deciding not to eat it, it is an apt comparison to walking out on a provider. The key element, whether we are talking about a restaurant or a provider, is the time/resources invested into seeing you as a client. There is a 'point of no return' past which, the provider simply cannot recoup the lost time and money by seeing someone else. A provider is not a restaurant where someone else is bound to walk through the door at the drop of a hat. Once you've shown up at the appointed time to see her, the ship has sailed on seeing someone else in your place. If you show up and decide to not go through with your session, she is plain and simply out the money she would have made. So basically, as I stated before, you in essence hold her solely responsible for the fact that the two of you didn't click. She becomes responsible because she has lost money. That is hardly fair to her.
So what it comes down to is, you ARE in fact paying her for her time, that is NOT just a quaint phrase thrown around to duck the legalities of this hobby. Not only have you not engaged her 'service' you have also prevented her from providing that service to anyone else.
If you think that one time here or one time there when a lady loses out on the revenue of a session doesn't matter, consider this. In the last week alone, I have had five no call no shows. Five of them. Now, that is unusually high, and I'm not certain of why, maybe its just a fluke. But in any given week, I can count on at least one or two no call no shows. I've only had one experience where a man showed up and left immediately, but the cause was justified - he was someone I had seen before, and he did indeed leave a partial donation, and returned to see me another time. The point I am making though, is welcome to our world. Every time we make an appointment to see someone, and that appointment doesn't happen, its not just a disappointment for us. Its not just an inconvenience. It costs us money. What you suggest is that simply walking away because the atmosphere just didn't seem right is an acceptable reason to deprive us of our income. Does that really seem fair to you?
Here is a compromise. If you show up for a session and the lady is not quite to your liking -not because it was a bait and switch, or because her pics are clearly 10 years old and 40 pounds lighter, but you simply don't click with her - instead of just leaving, stay long enough to find someone else to come and see her. Call one of your buddies, or call someone you don't particularly like, doesn't matter. Just take the time to find someone else to engage her services. She isn't out any money, and you didn't have to spend any of yours either. Sounds silly doesn't it? But its a fair solution. In the absence of that, half the donation assures that you don't engage in an experience you don't want to, but doesn't force her to bear the full responsibility for the fact that the chemistry just wasn't there for you.
Finally, regarding your experience with the provider who's attitude was apparently sub-par. That is WHY sites like TER were created. This discussion bears a striking resemblance, without the animosity, of the discussion started by Xi-lover. Her attitude sucked, but service was provided. Regardless of the details, or whether you chose to leave early or not - pay the donation. Use this site to screen out possible bad experiences before they happen, and also to warn other guys off before they go through the same experience.
When it comes down to it, if you do your homework, this discussion will most likely remain purely theoretical. And by the way, yes I have indeed given money back willingly. More than once actually, for different reasons.
*slydexia strikes again! Edited for spelling. (Its 3 am, what can I say?)
-- Modified on 5/2/2007 12:57:24 AM
A better analogy might be "I've booked a restaurant for a special party, and then fail to show up. What's my obligation?" Sure, the restaurant can get some business by opening back up for walk-ins, but it's going to put a hit on their income.
By booking an appointment and then canceling, you are creating a hole in her schedule. That's not to say that she won't be able to fill that hole in her schedule at least partially by booking last-minute appointments, or by calling guys on a "waiting list" if she has one, but that's not a great solution from her point of view. She may not be able to get the same amount of time booked, and she likely won't be able to be as secure in any screening accomplished on short notice.
She did perform some degree of service for you, in that she blocked out the time for you, and got the situation prepared (maybe it's an incall hotel room, or maybe she came to your location). You owe her some consideration -- half the donation seems about right to me. (I know you were being hypothetical, and I am too.)
If there are special circumstances, the whole situation changes, or course. I've been in a situation where both the lady and myself were delayed by the same massive traffic tie-up, and when we got to the incall location, it was no longer available to us (long story). I met her in the parking lot, and we talked it over, and we mutually decided that it just wasn't going to happen on that specific day, because we both had other time commitments. It wasn't her fault, and it wasn't mine, either. She was shorted an appointment fee, and I was shorted an encounter, but since there wasn't any culpability on either side, we just shrugged it off.
You book the restaurant but when you get there, the help is nasty and the environment is inhospitable. Then what? Time isn't the only consideration, attitude and atmosphere are important too.
This is the problem with arguing from analogy -- in the restaurant case, you've almost certainly signed a contract, and are on the hook for the room rental. There's probably a deposit that's been provided (or it's being held with a credit card), and it's almost unthinkable that you'd book it sight unseen. If the staff aren't working out, or there's a problem with the facility, you call for the manager, and that person tries to make you happy, although he may not be willing (or able) to do much about the situation. None of that really applies here.
The basic point, however, is that unless you're backing out for cause (and not just because when dinnertime arrives, you decide you'd rather have sushi than fine French cuisine), you owe the person providing the service something for their time and effort in accommodating you. If they didn't go to any special effort (by analogy, you call up a lady whose ad is on Eros, and she says, "Sure, now is good, come on over"), then you can say, "Ehhhh, never mind", and nobody's the worse off. If you put them to significant time and trouble and then decide to no-show, you owe a cancellation fee of some sort.
There are always side issues, but both sides need to be understanding about them. For example, I'm not terribly demanding on "atmosphere" -- as long as it doesn't stink, is private and secure, and reasonably comfortable, I feel like a lady has provided a reasonable location. It might not be what I'd have preferred, or even what I had in mind, but she's done her share. If we agreed on something ahead of time ("I want sandalwood candles" or "I want to have a session on a chaise longue beside a swimming pool") that isn't done, I've got a legitimate gripe. If she doesn't meet those basic standards of safety and hygiene, then I've also got a legitimate gripe.
Other people may have other standards, but I feel like mine are fairly typical, given my research and the reviews I've read.
All your rebuttals have assumed that the provider is trying her best. If that's the case, then I agree with you. But in one of my situations, when I got there, the provider was obviously not interested in accommodating me. I went through with it and paid her. Period.
When seeing a provider and she's giving you a bad vibe [for whatever reason], I feel that is sufficient cause to walk away. If I'm taking time and money to see a provider and she agrees to it, she should not have an attitude when I get to the door. If she's having a bad day and can't even fake friendliness, then turn down the appointment. At the same time, I feel that providers should have the right to turn away customers who are obviously inconsiderate assholes.
Sins, I have to disagree. I am paying for time AND service. I am not paying to be treated like shit for an hour or so - I can get that for free.
In the case of the provider, she was new in the area and I decided to TOFTT. This however, does not obligate me to accept contemptuous treatment. I was horny, I took it, so I paid. On top of that I gave her too generous a review by de-emphasizing her attitude, but what's done is done.
Just wondering: suppose you initiate contact with several providers and just pick one. Should you contact the other providers and say, "Sorry, I won't be meeting you this Friday.." or can you just not pursue it any further?
Let's not kid ourselves. The payment is for what happens during that time, not the time itself. A good chat isn't worth $300 per hour to very many people.
Not that I don't love good conversation!
Quite the contrary, I think you are kidding yourself. The only thing you have bought when you offer your donation is 60 minutes of her time, to say otherwise is foolish. If you are concerned as to what may happen during that time, that is what doing your homework and reviews are all about. That is a risk we all take.
Once you have reserved her time you are obgligated to pay, unless when you arrive you see she has grossly misrepresented herself- B&S, fake pictures, etc. Once I had an outcall to my house, the girl who arrived was about 20 years older - nowhere close to the picture. I did offer her gas money since she drove but I made it clear to her I did not appreciate her wasting
my time either.
Again, to say the $ is for the lady's time is asinine- the $ is for what happens during your time together.
You don't need to "sample" anything to know you don't click, if you do then maybe you're a little more shallow than you think..
No harm, no foul in leaving if you dont feel the vibe and feel misled
But if you partake in activities and it isn't up to par, you cant say jack, you can't take anything back....
You're in this hobby for you..... just remember, do your research, be polite and treat the ladies with respect and you won't have any problems.....
-- Modified on 5/2/2007 9:01:04 AM
Walk off without paying the lady at least a portion of her donation in compensation for the lost session, and you will be blacklisted. See the response I posted moments ago on the Nat'l Board about it.