You are probably not doing anyone a favor by "faking it".
The provider wants you to be happy; that way you'll come back and be a good customer. You're not likely to come back if you feel obligated to do something you don't enjoy.
You should want to be happy as well. What's the point of all the time and money spent if you aren't happy?
There are so many ways that a man and a woman can share the erotic delights of their bodies with one another that I'm sure you'll find something that is mutually pleasurable.
Experiment!
Going down on a girl is not my thing. I'm not sure if I don't like it because I don't seem to be that good at it or if I'm not good at it because I don't really like to do it.
When I'm with a girlfriend or SO, I do it out of obligation. She's doing things for me, I do something for her. I try my hardest, but usually my heart is not into it.
The only thing that really gets me into it, is that some women get so revved up by it that the rest of the sex is better.
I'd like to think I'm not just a selfish person. I have no problem giving a long massage, using my fingers on a woman or a vibrator. I like to watch and experience her pleasure.
So, here is my question.
If I'm with a provider, what are my oral obligations? Maybe this is blunt, but I think I'm there for my pleasure. My obligation is to pay the bill. Maybe I'm obligated to be polite and clean -- be a gentleman, if you will.
But do providers expect me to do oral? If I don't want to, will I get less in return than a guy who does want to? I'm thinking that if I pay the price, I should get the same treatment as someone who pays the price and does more?
Or am I just paying for time and expected to be just as much of a boyfriend as the provider is a girlfriend?
Dude, you are paying her. That is your only obligation. Treat her with respect and tell her what you like and don't like. No one here can tell you what you will or will not get from a lady if you do or do not perform DATY on her. Read the reviews and roll the dice. If you don't enjoy the experience with one lady then try another. I love DATY and won't see a provider a second time if she doesn't enjoy it as well but hey, that's just me...
But that's only because it wouldn't be complete for me if it didn't happen. There are probably things I wouldn't do (although nothing comes to mind immediately), and hopefully she doesn't ever feel slighted by them.
You are probably not doing anyone a favor by "faking it".
The provider wants you to be happy; that way you'll come back and be a good customer. You're not likely to come back if you feel obligated to do something you don't enjoy.
You should want to be happy as well. What's the point of all the time and money spent if you aren't happy?
There are so many ways that a man and a woman can share the erotic delights of their bodies with one another that I'm sure you'll find something that is mutually pleasurable.
Experiment!
If you do not enjoy DATY, then you definitely shouldn't do it. When I first started escorting, I was honestly surprised (and pleased) to learn that so many gentlemen enjoyed DATY, and I'm VERY happy to allow them to dine like its an all you care to eat buffet. However, it isn't something I expect, and I am perfectly fine if a gentleman declines. You certainly aren't the only one who chooses not to.
I do appreciate your willingness to do it even though you don't care for it, out of respect for your partner though. However, if I pick up a vibe that you aren't enjoying it (and I will), then its going to make me self-conscious and wondering if you found something about me specifically unpleasant. In lieu of Daty, feel free to let your fingers go roaming. When a man really knows what to do with his fingers (many don't, they are far too rough), the resulting O's can be just as powerful, if not more powerful than from oral.
Anyways, that is just my two cents. Hope this helps 
*Slydexia strikes again. Edited for spelling.
-- Modified on 4/20/2007 7:05:12 PM
As a relative newcomer myself, I faced the same dilemma. Although I always enjoyed it at home, I just felt a little weird doing it with a provider, so my first 3 professional dates went DATY-less. And then I fell in luuuuuuv.
I had a long email corespondence with an absolute goddess from Las Vegas as we were making arrangements to meet on my upcoming trip there. She is a minor league porn starlet. I found a few of her scenes on the web, and fell in love with her perfect kitty and became obsessed with licking it. Needless to say, she climaxed a lot more than me during our 2 extended sessions together. Now I'm kind of obsessed with it and like to start a session that way, both because I like it and I find it really sets a great mood for the lady. My only "regular" back home was quite pleasantly surprised when I saw her soon after getting back.
There is also an element of behavioral science involved. If you give your lady great head first, she is likely to want to reward you with her best effort in return. And it probably won't take many of these rewards before you start associating your orgasmic pleasure with the behavior that preceded it, licking your gal's kitty.
So, to get back to the subject; necessary, no;
more fun for the lady, yes, maybe resulting in more fun for you. And I bet you can "train" yourself to like it, just by doing it first.
i used to feel the same way. i hated giving blowjobs to the guys i dated in my personal life because i didnt know how and i just felt stupid like i was messing it up.
i dont remember how i got over it but i did and i started enjoying it and the more i enjoyed it the better i got at it and then finally one day, my boyfriend finished that way and i felt the power. theres no feeling like it. you will love it and from then on, you will crave it.
you are already halfway there, you said you enjoy it when she seemed to get revved up .....
wait until you make a woman lose all control and you feel the full magnitude of your sexual power. it validates your sexual ability.
if you're unsure how, just take it slow and gentle and let her body come to you. it will. unless she's a dead fish laying there and then just get the hell out.
when dealing with providers, dont be scared to talk about these kinds of things.
you're spending alot of money, get all you can out of the experience. ask her the things you are too embarrassed to ask girls you normally date. just ask nicely.
half the guys i meet ask me how big they are.
i think that is just too funny (no i dont laugh, i would never) that you guys dont know and even funnier that you guys dont realize that other guys dont know how big they are either... But i'm sure you cant look over and check out the guy standing next to you without fear of getting your ass kicked.
anyway, good luck
you seem very sweet and not selfish at all.
that is except of course to leave the contribution for the session.
I echo what everyone else has said -- you are the consumer, do what you want. I did see one very beautiful lady who focused on me for quite a while and then rolled to her back and said "What are you going to do for me?" I love DATY so it was real clear.
No, don't do anything you do not want to but consider being open to new things. I remember the first time someone gave me a prostate massage while doing a bbbj and I thought I had dropped acid. If I hadn't been willing to explore I would never had that experience.
B
I think you should do whatever you are comfortable doing. Otherwise, the experience will not be what you want. If you do something you are not comfortable doing, it is unlikely to be good for her, either. I would not do it purely from a safety perspective.