I really hesitate to answer as I am new to this, but it is obvious that tips and gifts, like all other things, are a matter of personal preference.
I was brought up to treat a women, any women, like a queen, putting them on a pedistal. The purpose of a gift is to get a good feeling from it, not " I need to get something in return"
In my mind this hobby is about two different things to the hobbiest, either purely sex, just have someone to help get off with, that is purely a business, and for others its a fantasy fufillment prcess. For me, its the fantasy, I want to live out the GFE realizing its only fantasy for an hour or two or 4.
Personally, for me, if it was just getting off, thats why god invented mastubation.
Although I'm a relative newcomer to the hobby, TER has provided the guidance to make my first couple encounters great experiences. I am seeking advice on the proper protocal on gifts and gratuities.
Is before, during or after the best time to present them?
Should it be placed with the donation?
Recommendation on amount?
Is $50 extra to a $350 providers who delivers excellent service appropriate, or am I overdoing it?
I've picked up $20 or $30 gift card, tucked a $50 behind it and presented it to the provider in the begining after donation business is settled. Is that appropriate?
Any guidance and wisdom provided will be appreciated.
How much you tip is a personal decision. In my opinion you are being very generous. That being said, I would present the gratuity at the end of the date. It's supposed to be a reward for great service. It hasn't happened yet but someday you may kick yourself for tipping a girl who turns out to be strictly average or worse. The donation should always be left discretely and in plain sight at the start of the appointment.
I'll state it again, why would anyone ever tip a provider?? This is not like a restaurant, where waiters and waitresses are receiving below market wages because it is expected they will receive tips from customers to make up the salary differences. I presume providers are charging rates that will cover their overhead (i.e. hotel room, travel expense and bills) and of course they are entitled to a profit for personal expenditures. They don’t need extra money to cover losses in wages; presumably the fee paid by the gentleman is more than sufficient. If the money they receive is not enough, than the lady should charge more to make it work. A gentleman has to presume that the rate they are being charged is enough for the lady to make it all work.
I have also heard the argument that providers don’t charge gentleman for their time to get ready for the date (i.e. going to get their hair and nails done, etc.) Okay, the next time your attorney gives you a bill for 10 hours @ 500 per hour, tell him, hey listen, I know you did an extra two hours of pre-research that you are not billing me for, so here's an extra $1,000. Right, it's not happening.
Also, I am tired of the argument that you will get better service the next time if you tip. The service is all due to the ladies personality. If she is sweet and friendly, a true GFE, than you will receive that type of service every time, whether you tip or not. What is an extra $50-$100 going to do for you next time???? How much better can the lady be if she is already a GFE???
Now you are going to tell me tipping is a nice gesture, showing that you appreciate her service. I'll tell you how to show you appreciate her service: Come back for another visit, and shell out another $400 or whatever she charges for the hour. The biggest compliment you can give to a provider is that you repeat.
Now on to gifts. Men will bring gifts because they think it’s a nice gesture; almost akin to bringing a girlfriend something on a date (i.e. flowers, chocolate, etc.) Let's get something straight here. Providers are not your girlfriends; they never have been and never will be. I think alot of men loose site of this fact; they try to create a total GFE expeience when it is impossible (becuase you are paying for their time) to achieve. Also, I don’t bring gifts to my attorney or accountant. I compliment them through repeat business. I just dont get shelling out $400 for a provider and bringing her an extra gift on top of the fee. Makes no sense.
If you want a provider to be your girlfriend, then take her out on a NON-PAYING date. If you do this, then bring all the gifts you want to her. But as long as you are paying her for her time, this is a purely business situation. She is not your girlfriend.
-- Modified on 4/19/2007 5:31:59 AM
Believe it or not Hardy there is such a thing as making a nice gesture with no ulterior motive. I don't really tip or bring gifts expecting better service, my return business is the reward for superior service. I do however enjoy the feeling I get when I do something nice for a nice lady. No, I'm not looking for a girlfriend I'm just adding to my enjoyment of the experience and hers. If you don't feel it's necessary and it doesn't add to your experience that's just fine, don't do it. I guess you really wouldn't know if being nice to someone you are involved in a "business situation" with pays off or not since it sounds like you have never tried it.
Bostonguy, you are correct in your assessment that if I have never tipped or brought a gift, I would have no way of knowing if I actually did make such overtures it would somehow be to my benefit. I have just always viewed these situations as purely business and my other life as pleasure. In the end, if the lady has a sweet and engaging personality, and the service is great, how much better could she possibly be if I brought her gifts and left her tips? I have always felt that repeat business was the best compliment one could give a provider.
Hardy, I agree that repeat business is the best compliment you can pay but, as I said, a gift or gratuity is not about getting better service...at least not for me. It is simply a gesture. The true value of any gift is not measured only by how it makes the receiver feel but the giver as well.
I don't think you and I will ever agree on this or many other topics as I just can't seem to treat an intimate act with a woman as strictly a business transaction but hey, that's what makes it a horse race! Thanks for reading and responding. It's always interesting to hear your point of view.
I always bring a gift, usually candles. No, I wouldn't bring my lawyer a gift. But I am not seeing my lawyer, I am seeing a beautiful woman who is going to be, even if only for an hour, the most important woman in my life for that span of time. I want her to know that.
If I really like her, I will repeat and bring her another gift. That's just me. We all do as we feel is right for us when seeing a provider. I don't tip, because I think I have paid her enough, but the gift lets her know I do think she is special. No, she is not my longtime girfriend, but for that hour or two, she is my shorttime gf.
Swim
Gotta go with Hardy on that.....sorry guys, think what you want BUT it is JUST BUSINESS, NOTHING PERSONAL...think like the Mafia-lol
and salutes to you Hardy for your earlier comments last week about reviews/looks/performance, etc
You are thinking with the BIG head ...NOT the lile one-lol
I appreciate kind gestures because I am a human being. Whether it's extra cash at the end of the meeting or a candle, card or flowers beforehand.
Just a nice gesture, that's it. Setting the mood for a relaxed GFE experience.
Not necessary by any means but always appreciated. I don't hold it against a visitor who doesn't bring anything, but I always enjoy it when a visitor does.
I think I'll brighten my attorney's day by bringing him some cookies next time we meet.
I really hesitate to answer as I am new to this, but it is obvious that tips and gifts, like all other things, are a matter of personal preference.
I was brought up to treat a women, any women, like a queen, putting them on a pedistal. The purpose of a gift is to get a good feeling from it, not " I need to get something in return"
In my mind this hobby is about two different things to the hobbiest, either purely sex, just have someone to help get off with, that is purely a business, and for others its a fantasy fufillment prcess. For me, its the fantasy, I want to live out the GFE realizing its only fantasy for an hour or two or 4.
Personally, for me, if it was just getting off, thats why god invented mastubation.
Every once in a while I take the people in my dentist's office a box of truffles. They LOVE it. Took licorace once. Some of them loved it. Never took unshelled brazil nuts. Figured that would come back to haunt me.
B
Sometimes I do bring a gift like flowers or a bottle of wine, sometimes I don't--just depends on the spirit. Repeat visits are the best gift you can give.
Repeat business is honestly the name of the gameand the greatest gift. While I normally only do overnights most of the time I'm seeing the same girl over and over. Yes, I'm paying for her time but it's differnet then a one or two hour appointment. I'm seen my ATF probably 20 nights and flown her all over the states to visit with me. My second ATF I've seen 15 nights. With both girls we go shopping and I always buy stuff for them. A lot of times it's things that they wouldn't buy themselves even though they could afford to.
Thank you to those who replied to my inquiry. I was astounded by the wisdom and passion for this issue.
you're never overdoing it.
but i like for a guy to tip me at the end of a session because then i know he's tipping me because of my performance.
but anytime is fine really.
oh and never hand a woman money. lay it somewhere, bed, dresser, doesnt matter.