THIS IS WHAT SOMEONE HAD TO SAY

DISCLAIMER: I find FBSM more fulfilling in many ways than standard FS sessions.  This is probably due to my experience/age and I simply have a thing for massage....giving and receiving.  
 
During my college sports days I was introduced to and became a BIG fan of therapeutic massage.    In those years I always had the thought and fantasy of ".....wow, what if one could merge the worlds of massage and sex..."  And I did just that in my personal relationships.  I always incorporated oil filled massages in my sex life.  An exquisite body drenched in oil, in my large hands is Nirvana for me.  The only downside is that while most ladies liked receiving most were not always enthused about giving and/or did not know how to give.  
 
When I first got into the hobby scene it was due to a sexless marriage.  My first "go-to" genre was the AMP scene.  Damn, I thought I died and went to heaven;  ".....a good massage by a sexy lady and I get to cum at the end? What could be better...."   The other perceived benefit was, "......HEY, THIS AINT EVEN CHEATING CAUSE I DID NOT STICK MY DICK IN HER....."  Of course, on occasion I did stick my dick in...lol.  The only missing elements were the lack of connection due to the communication barriers and most times I could not and/or did not have the opportunity to give.    
 
As this high wore off and I wanted more I graduated to FS providers.  I soon learned that, for the most part, the focus in the FS genre was on the standard acronyms (GFE, BJ; MISH, COB, GFE. DATY, etc).  AND OF COURSE, THERE IS NO WAY AROUND IT, THIS IS CHEATING!  BUT FUCK IT!  During my time in the hobby, I have evolved more into what I term "A man with a slow hand."  Hence, the 1 hour, go through the acronyms type of session while having it's place, became less appealing.  
 
Then I moved to the FBSM genre.  As it stands now, if I had to choose where to spend my time and money it would be in the FBSM genre (minimum 90 minute session).  Why?  It meets my need for the mood of "a man with a slow hand" session.  The right music; the right light (candles); the right amount of massage oil (a whole lot...smile);  and I get to do some massaging too.  Also, at this time, how I cum is secondary whether it be penetration, HJ, BJ, is almost irrelevant as long as the release is satisfying the method is moot.  And here is the rub!  I first rationalized that if the release was without penetration this really is not cheating.  It's a massage that happens to result in an orgasm.  BUT I'VE NOW STOPPED THIS RATIONALIZATION.  ANY ASSISTED (of course not including masturbation) MEANS TO HAVE AN ORGASM THAT INCLUDES A THIRD PARTY IS CHEATING.  IMHO.  I provided a link to a YouTube video of Chad Johnson and some dude named Peter Bailey talking about this very subject....Monogamy vs Serial fucking.  Chads perspective is it can't happen, it's impossible, men can never be faithful.  The counter of course is monogamy is the way it should be.  
 
In a perfect world my SO would be on the same page and/or willing to explore all things sexual.  Hence, any and all means to achieve orgasm should be and would be with my SO.  This is, and should be part of the exclusivity of the relationship.  But for a host of reasons in these modern times intimacy, satisfying sex in relationships is a lost art and is over.  So a long winded way for me to say FBSM is cheating.    
 
As the comedian once joked, don't marry anyone whose not on the same page as you are....A born again Christian will not match with you if you're into porn, etc, etc, etc.