WASH YOUR BALLS
Some people learn things the hard way. But it doesn't have to be that way for everyone. So in the interest of any newbies who might be reading this board, allow me to share wisdom for you. Please note that these are not universal rules, there are always exceptions - this is meant to be a funny glance at what are seen on some fly-by-night advertising boards.
1. If it seems too good to be true, it is. This is known as TGTBT
2. IF IT SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT IS. TGTBT. (Yes, it's a Fight Club reference)
3. When emoji or symbols are used in an ad headline, this is not always a good sign.
4. The term "open minded" in an ad also often means the opposite.
5. Many will say they have a "sweet booty". Do not fall for the booty. Woman is more than sweet booty alone.
6. Gentlemen, we are given two heads and only enough blood to run one at a time. Do whatever it takes to make sure the correct one is functioning.
7. Google is your friend. Phone numbers, reverse image search - all this and more can be yours if you take the time to do so. In doing so, remember that it is impossible for a provider to be in two locations 150 miles away from each other simultaneously.
8. Most who are "new in town" aren't.
9. The mixing of capitol letters with regular letters without rhyme or reason in an ad headline is REALLY not a good sign
10. When phone numbers are put into code to make them more difficult to Google, do not back away from the "challenge".
11. If it is a provider's first ad (that you can find), they have one review here from a reviewer with one review - this is known as the rule of three ones, and should be viewed with a critical eye.
12. "2 GIRL SPECIALS!!!" are usually anything but (the multiple exclamation points are an indicator).
13. And when in doubt . . . refer to the first two rules.
Once again, all meant in good fun people. Laugh or pick apart as you wish :
Further observations:
1. Misspellings in headlines (i.e. "Fantacy" instead of "Fantasy", just one example from today) - well, not a good sign.
2. The phrase "put my skills to the test" likely means a failing grade would be given on said test.
3. Ads that include, as part of their pictures, an all-text picture that states that donations are for time only, and also include in the regular text a statement that law enforcement or pimps are not to contact the provider, should be laughed at very hard.
4. In the winter, there will be many "snow bunnies" in New England. Whatever the **** that means.
5. Many ads will include several pictures that do not include the face, but show off many parts of the body. If tattoos are not consistent across pictures . . . well, that's a no-brainer.
WASH YOUR BALLS
don't text me and ask if I want to have fun! And don't call me baby!
-- Modified on 2/26/2015 11:38:40 AM
If you want an amazing blow job don't touch my head or power trust your stiffy down my throat
Wished I saw this sooner. Had to find out a few of these lessons the hard way unfortunately. Have to thank Mara for "showing me the ropes" so to speak. Hopefully washing the balls hasn't been an issue. A serious lesson that I've learned (fortunately NOT the hard way).....never see a provider who has no reviews and doesn't screen. No good can come from taking that risk
AMEN!
-- Modified on 2/26/2015 11:38:40 AM
-- Modified on 2/26/2015 11:38:40 AM
Stay away from girls that advertise as 420 friendly.
When I first started getting asked that question I thought it was in reference to a highway or interstate...seriously, I did!
Of course many years ago I answered the prank call, my response to " I have an appointment with your mom for a blow job "..." Um, my mom doesn't do hair ".