I'm in a reminiscing mood. Recalling back when almost every day was a fun day here.
What are some of your favorite threads that made you smile & be tickled to be a part of the Minnesota board?
Here's one of mine.....
Yes, I'm an alias. I used to post here frequently and I used to enjoy it. But the drama . . . oh the drama. I had favorite threads and I remember discussions about restaurants, strip clubs, night life, sports, and sharing jokes. I remember when hobbyists were looking out for each other; you know sharing information rather than looking for ways to belittle and attack each other.
Now, I almost never post. I never post or comment as myself. I sometimes go weeks without reading the board and then I'm glad I didn't bother when I finally catch up on the petty arguing.
For those of you providers who are trying to use this forum to stay in touch with clients, new and old, I admire the attempt. Good luck to y'all.
The bullies & instigators only have as much power here as we give them. If they have taken over the board, it's because WE allowed them to.
Take a professional choir for instance. If one, two, or even a handful begin to sing off key, do the rest of the performers stop singing? Of course not. They remain focused & often sing louder to drown out the sour notes.
Another example many parents here can relate to is a child acting out. We know there are one of two goals that child has in mind. A) To get their way. B) To get attention. The best way to intervene is to ignore the behavior whenever possible & catch the child when they are behaving properly & reward THAT behavior. Eventually the child figures out the negative behavior isn't going to work for them & changes happen for the better.
That said, this board has had it's ups & downs over the years & (IMO) more ups than down. When it functioned as a fun & informative board it was because the contributors did NOT cower to the troublemakers. It's because they either ignored the behavior or put them in the "Timeout" chair & didn't feed into them with nonstop arguing back & forth. Can we at least give that a try?
Any hoo.... Here's another one of my favorites. Enjoy!
This one is by far my favorite.
Is YOU!
Admit it Leigh-Ann. You can't deny it.
It came down to what I said or simply telling her to look in the mirror.
But I thought she wouldn't get the point if she was looking at herself.
Long unhappy sigh of frustration, trying to teach the clueless...
Don't expect to see immediate improvement. Quite the contrary in fact. They will often escalate at first pushing the limits harder. You just have to remain calm, patient, & hold your ground.
In the event they raise the bar in a way that can potentially endanger themselves or others, then yes! You may want to take a firmer stand BUT keep it brief & to the point & remove yourself as quickly as is possible. Otherwise, the longer you engage in the power struggle, they are getting the very attention the are looking for. Remember, negative attention, is better than no attention.
Here's another thread that had me roaring with laughter all day long!
considered the instigators? Maybe you who compare some of us to the likes of spoiled brats...well, maybe that's being an instigato??? You posted that knowing it was going to ruffle feathers. YOU are the instigator and a hypocrite.
Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones
From Ms. Leigh-Ann Chayse.
Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
Nowadays, to find fun conversation and clients interacting civilly with providers, I usually read the Vegas board.
I really enjoyed when (past) providers posted sexy topics.
Sexy photos in original poses within the board, not some other place.
Regular discussions.
I don't think many of us want to move away from this board to talk about specific topics or view images a provider chooses to share. I liked it more when it was a stew of threads instead of just a few ingredients. I like variety.
$30K beach houses in southern California.
New dependable cars under $10K.
In-n-Out Burgers.
Beaches with oceans.
Vikings/Twins winning in the playoffs.
Athletic girls with flat stomachs.
Sex without condoms.
I remember when there were moderators who took action when some of the antics we see a lot today occurred and kept that more at bay.
I don't remember a time when the allowance to use alias's here wasn't a contributor to the problems.
Thanks to all the folks still keeping it civil at times, and especially the brave providers willing to jump in occasionally.
this place would run like clockwork.
I have been an active TER member since before MN had it's own discussion board starting in 2001, and so I have some perspective on the "ebb and flow" here. Yeah, the ass-hattery has it's ups and downs, and sadly the last couple of years have seen a few "jackwad douche canoes" on the boards.
But most of you missed out on what it was like when things went really, really bad... MCG imploding and the provider backstabbing that ensued... Misty and Madison duking it out for who knows why... Madison posting a guy's contact info on the boards one night effectively ending her career... The whole MDL/9 Inch Nail/Misty thing that blew up in about 2004 or 2005 that turned into death threats, several people being outed to spouses, etc. Then the fastpass debacle...
My point being no matter how bad the BS gets, it can still get a whole lot worse, and has--I mean like 50x worse.
The problem is just the endemic sociopathic nature of all internet interaction. For all kinds of reasons... some legitimate mood regulation disorders, and some just related to fractured self esteem, there's a lot of people in this world that believe by pushing others down, your are somehow elevating yourself. Sometimes that's aimed at one person, in the form of bullying, and sometimes it's aimed at everyone in the form of antagonism. No matter how much self-loathing you have going on in your head, it always seems at least possible that by insulting the dignity of others, you can push them down the totem pole, and by comparison, relatively push yourself up the totem pole. So, where does one go about doing this?
Being a complete fuck nozzle at work will usually get you fired. Being a complete fuck nozzle with your family will get your shit piled up in the driveway. Everywhere else in life, there are consequences for antagonism, and those consequences can be unbearable.
Ah, but the internet... The internet provides anonymity, and anonymity means freedom from consequence. Yes! Finally a place where I can come home after work and take my self-hatred out on others, clinging to the illusion that if I can just get myself one tiny little notch higher on the totem pole, FINALLY I will be worthy of my mother's love, my father's approval, a seat at the grown-up's table... whatever the void, surely it will be filled if I can just climb up one more step, if I can just diminish one more person above me and push them below me.
Many of us know that life doesn't really work that way, but sadly, a lot of people think it does, and you can just scroll through a month of TER posts and quickly spot the few folks here that are held captive by their need to diminish... to diminish people, diminish situations, diminish relationships. Rather than hold it against them, I guess for me it just helps me count my blessings, and be grateful that I developed an ability to internally regulate my own behavior in ways that others have been much less fortunate.
For me, I simply choose to post only when I think what I am feeling ADDs, and never when I think it will subtract. If I can make something better, clearer, safer... If I can make it MORE by contributing to it, then I do. And if what I am thinking subtracts... when it makes things less civil, less clear, less safe... I keep it to myself. There are a lot of others here in the same boat. Try finding some disrespectful, diminishing, antagonizing post from Vorlon, for instance. Good luck with that.
-- Modified on 5/30/2016 3:36:36 AM
to speak the truth & be spot on with your insights.
Thank you!
But most of you missed out on what it was like when things went really, really bad... MCG imploding and the provider backstabbing that ensued... Misty and Madison duking it out for who knows why... Madison posting a guy's contact info on the boards one night effectively ending her career... The whole MDL/9 Inch Nail/Misty thing that blew up in about 2004 or 2005 that turned into death threats, several people being outed to spouses, etc. Then the fastpass debacle...
My point being no matter how bad the BS gets, it can still get a whole lot worse, and has--I mean like 50x worse.
The problem is just the endemic sociopathic nature of all internet interaction. For all kinds of reasons... some legitimate mood regulation disorders, and some just related to fractured self esteem, there's a lot of people in this world that believe by pushing others down, your are somehow elevating yourself. Sometimes that's aimed at one person, in the form of bullying, and sometimes it's aimed at everyone in the form of antagonism. No matter how much self-loathing you have going on in your head, it always seems at least possible that by insulting the dignity of others, you can push them down the totem pole, and by comparison, relatively push yourself up the totem pole. So, where does one go about doing this?
Being a complete fuck nozzle at work will usually get you fired. Being a complete fuck nozzle with your family will get your shit piled up in the driveway. Everywhere else in life, there are consequences for antagonism, and those consequences can be unbearable.
Ah, but the internet... The internet provides anonymity, and anonymity means freedom from consequence. Yes! Finally a place where I can come home after work and take my self-hatred out on others, clinging to the illusion that if I can just get myself one tiny little notch higher on the totem pole, FINALLY I will be worthy of my mother's love, my father's approval, a seat at the grown-up's table... whatever the void, surely it will be filled if I can just climb up one more step, if I can just diminish one more person above me and push them below me.
Many of us know that life doesn't really work that way, but sadly, a lot of people think it does, and you can just scroll through a month of TER posts and quickly spot the few folks here that are held captive by their need to diminish... to diminish people, diminish situations, diminish relationships. Rather than hold it against them, I guess for me it just helps me count my blessings, and be grateful that I developed an ability to internally regulate my own behavior in ways that others have been much less fortunate.
For me, I simply choose to post only when I think what I am feeling ADDs, and never when I think it will subtract. If I can make something better, clearer, safer... If I can make it MORE by contributing to it, then I do. And if what I am thinking subtracts... when it makes things less civil, less clear, less safe... I keep it to myself. There are a lot of others here in the same boat. Try finding some disrespectful, diminishing, antagonizing post from Vorlon, for instance. Good luck with that.
-- Modified on 5/30/2016 3:36:36 AM
But why do I have a feeling that the only people who will fully appreciate what you said are those you described in your last paragraph? 
I learned of it in college & try my best to live by it. Can't say I always succeed but everytime I do remember it I always gain better insights & make changes in my life that benefit myself & those around me.
Hope we never get anywhere near that again.