Surprising as it may seem, one can have a full sex life in marriage as well as on the outside.  They may be related for some people -- where they aren't getting much/any inside the marriage and seek it outside, but that's certainly not always the case.  

Getting married doesn't stop you from seeing, thinking, imagining, wishing.  

You may limit yourself for intellectual reasons, but the monkey part of your brain wants to engage in monkey business.

Some of us merely ask why are we denying ourselves -- and not coming up with a good answer

In my case, the cause of my divorce was due more to who my Ex is, by way of her personality, and her fantasy that she was some sort of princess, living in a fairy tale world, and as she is a N.P.D.
( psychopath ) she used sex to get what she wanted, and then it ceased to happen on a regular basis, and then of course the cycle began all over again. As well as who I was, and whom I chose to become during the marriage, You see I was equal contributor, and the one who petitioned for the divorce.  

Talon, a word of wisdom, and this is not a knock at you or anyone else. But if you should find "the One" to join in a life of marriage, You shall need to look inward to yourself, and learn who you are, what are your personality traits, what are your absolute emotional boundaries ? and what is the deal breakers ?

I do not know how old you are, nor of how much self awareness that you have, but believe me, the more you are aware of self, the better that you can understand those that you are attracted to, and whom is attracted to you ?

As well, Real maturity takes place, when an individual learns to live alone, and not need to have someone to hover or fill in the emotional voids in their life.
Does that help to answer your inquiry ?

I know most of the girls i see, see married guys and although some think it is strange they are open-minded. In the back of my mind I always think if these married guys want to go out and fuck younger girls I will go and fuck there wives and give them the younger guy and then we will see how the guys feel about that

But some of us just get bored with the same thing over and over.  

She benefits as well, because I find my libedo is super charged for several days after seeing a provider.  (But she may not know that is why).

A young man is walking down the aisle a little unsteady with the biggest grin the best man had ever seen on him. He asks him, "Marriage must be good for you I have never see you this happy", the Groom replies, "You are right, I am marrying the love of my life who makes me so happy and i just got the best blow job i have ever gotten. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with this amazing beautiful woman." The bride walks down the aisle a little unsteady with the biggest smile on her face. Her Maid of Honor is so happy for her and says, "I have never seen you happier", The bride replies, "I am so happy I am marrying the man of my dreams, one who will love me forever and I will never part, and i just gave the last blowjob of my life."  
During a conversation with one of my last providers, she in all sincerity asked me how many times I had sex a day. I almost choked from amazement. I checked to see how sincere she was and not just kidding. I told her try month and that i have sex a couple times a month on average and that includes hobbiying. I love my wife but if it were not for the hobby i would be gone. I gotta have sex, fun sex, sex with someone who actually for I don't care the  reason wants me to really enjoy it. Like others have said, for me it takes the edge off, or pressure off. If my wife and I don't have sex as often I am not pressuring her and it just happens and feels more mutual.  My wife simply does not want to have sex very often. I spent many frustrated years of not havingvery much sex, and what we had sometimes was very unfullfilling.

Had kids and viewed the act, or anything remotely close to intimacy including holding hands or kissing, as unneccessary. 'go make money so I can be a stay-at-home mother for our children.' she's Asian, Japanese to be precise, and intimacy is not important beyond the required amount to have children. I would caution any western male that wants to marry an Asian, specifically Japanese, woman to understand that they do not view relationships in terms of love and commitment as we tend to do. To them it is a partnership with specific roles and duties. Sex is temporary, for recreation and courting, but Not tied to love. Her dependence on you is permanent, however. My Hmong friends tell me they are told to have sex with their husbands as often as the husbands want. Not love related either. In a very generalized way, all Asian cultures seem to remove romantic love from any marriage and with it will go part of sex we all need and recognize - human connection.

She did it enough before marriage and caught her man.

And then once she popped out the desired # of kids, pretty much done.

Women get bored of their men too.  There are many a story of a woman who has become disinterested in regular sex with hubby, until one day some new guy catches her eye and then she herself is surprised at the physical reaction she is experiencing.

Of course men always get the blame for her lack of interest.  In fact women initiate greater than 70% of divorces.  And consider ... in countries, such as in Europe, where gay marriage has been around longer and data has been collected, lesbians divorce at a far higher rate than hetero or gay couples.  In fact gay couples divorce at a lower rate than heteros.  So whenever women are involved the divorce rate is higher

The relationship was so acrimonious that the idea of having sex with her was repellent to me.

-- Modified on 5/7/2016 1:23:25 AM

My now exwife had pain during sex...I'm taking streaming tears. So for the 3 years we were married, I never came.... I'm hung like a freakin tick-tac so it wasn't because of my size. We went to dr's and psychiatrists. All of them said it was a mental issue. She couldn't believe that so she stopped trying to figure it out.  
To make matters worse, when we got married, I was a full fledged kool-aide drinking Mormon. She had been raised as a LDS (Mormon) So jacking off was forbidden,  she wouldn't give me a HJ, oral was definitely out of the question, and I'm not a anal dude. I couldn't even get her to touch me during for play....so I just stopped.

In fact, I fucked the shit out of her last night, and again this morning. She still loves to get fucked, and is a squirter as well, which I love. Trouble is, she's kind of a bitch to be married too, it's been too long, and she has put on a good amount of weight, which I find pretty unattractive. We get drunk and fuck maybe twice a month (in a good month) and I hobby to fill in the gaps, and to be with younger, hotter ladies.  
It also pays for us to stay together financially, and while the kids were at home. Now that they're gone I think it's mostly just convienent.  So as long as I can maintain the status quo, I'll stay. If she catches me (again) I'll be down the road for sure...there was an incident last year and I'm on thin ice. But till that happens we just ...go on. Kind of sad...but not overly so. We had an OK marriage for a bunch of years, and will part on decent terms when we do I expect.

Lessons learned here.
1- Know/understand oneself
2-Fuck the shit out of her, and make sure she likes it.
3-Don't marry religious nut.
4-Use surrogate services.

Talon, if you think marriage is about having sex then don't ever get married. The two are sooo far apart.

For me, the Hobby keeps me from an affair.  Yes, there is a difference.  I'm also not asking for a pat on the back. I know I'm in the wrong.