It sounds to me as though something about your information made her nervous. In a situation like that, the less said the better. If I have reason to be suspicious of a contact someone has made to me, I won't respond at all. I would rather be thought of as a flake by a gentleman who is legitimate than find myself wearing bracelets that clash with my outfit. Having to do that is regrettable, and I have no doubt that I have probably missed out on seeing a few gentlemen who would probably have been safe, but better safe than sorry. This is just a guess on my part of course, but the fact that she never responded at all leads me to wonder if for some reason she didn't have concerns about whether you were legitimate. Sometimes all we can do is trust our gut instinct and play it safe when in doubt.
Posting in this forum as I've been with only a handful of providers so far.
From limited experience it seems on the occasion when something comes up and the provider cannot make it, I have received a call or SMS from them or the agency that the hook up cannot be made. An agency provided a very satisfactory backup the one time. Another time an independent had been polite enough to text msg and say sorry as an emergency arose but please call when I was back in town and would make it up to me. There was enough time in that case to go to Plan B.
I recently set up a visit with a highly reviewed east coast provider who regularly tours to my area - and contacted her early to get a good spot. We had a very funny & nice chat over the phone where I provided verification info and booked my time. Provider stated she would get back to me prior to the date with the incall info and looked forward to my visit. So with mega contact information at her disposal, I never hear from her again. Date is missed leaving me with no backup plans due to the timing. Call backs to VM to see what was up before and after the missed date had no response.
For the providers here, given all the contact info provided should a booked client expect a 'thanks but no thanks' call if the provider opted out of the engagement for whatever reason? Should I wait a few days in case something personal happened (sickness, busted, BHD etc) before I post the experience here on TER?
You will receive more responses from guys than you will the ladies, so I'll start.
You should ALWAYS expect to be notified if a lady cannot keep an appointment, just as you should ALWAYS notify a lady if you cannot keep one. Unfortunately it doesn't always happen that way on either side.
Give her a couple of days if you are feeling generous, then post your experience on your local board and move on, it happens.
The ladies have their own private boards listing all the hobbyists they know that are guilty of that, and well they should. You can post it on a regional board if you like, but TER will not allow you to post a review of a NC/NS.
Whether hobbyist or provider, I have always contended that is just a total lack of respect. A phone call only takes a few seconds. Sure, once in awhile a true emergency happens and someone cannot make the appt. However it is surprising how often that happens to the same people over and over.
I would agree you should wait a few days and then post it on your regional board. I just got stood up three weeks ago, and sure enough the provider posted a public apology 2 days later. Seems she and her boyfriend got in a fight and she decided to retire from the hobby permanently. Just my luck that had to happen a couple of hours before my appt. LOL
follow this outline in your "subject" line.
NC/NS Provider name ID=#
Example:
"Subject:" NC/NS Bertha ID=99227
This way the TER discussion board search engine can easily find and chronologically list any and all NC/NS infractions by the particular provider for future reference by other hobbyists.
I have personally experimented with this system of uniform character recognition with the TER discussion board search engine and it WORKS!!!
-- Modified on 3/10/2007 4:52:26 PM
That is good info! Definitely gonna check that out.
on both this as well as the Suggestion & Policy board.
-- Modified on 3/10/2007 6:10:01 PM
Good advice WT - Can frankly say that I've learned quite a bit from each provider experience, most of it very good. This one was just so different that it was hard to tell where to go from it.
I'm just letting it go and considering it a YMMV experience. There's no reason to even post a NC/NS given her past reputation as it would appear as sour grapes. Your excellent example supports the point that there is something else going on that had nothing to do with me - nor do I need to know.
While the nature of the hobby is intiment, it is way too easy to take things personally.
I've had my share of no shows. One lady had an actual family emergency, and I gave her another chance, with great success.
Another time, I thought I booked an incall duo with a couple of very hot providers. When I called from the appointed place at the appointed time, there was no answer. I met one of the pair a few weeks later in another context. I mentioned my dissappointement. Her reply, "Oh, I guess we were drunk when you called".
These things happen.
-- Modified on 3/11/2007 5:08:01 AM
It sounds to me as though something about your information made her nervous. In a situation like that, the less said the better. If I have reason to be suspicious of a contact someone has made to me, I won't respond at all. I would rather be thought of as a flake by a gentleman who is legitimate than find myself wearing bracelets that clash with my outfit. Having to do that is regrettable, and I have no doubt that I have probably missed out on seeing a few gentlemen who would probably have been safe, but better safe than sorry. This is just a guess on my part of course, but the fact that she never responded at all leads me to wonder if for some reason she didn't have concerns about whether you were legitimate. Sometimes all we can do is trust our gut instinct and play it safe when in doubt.
Take into account her previous record - consider, did she actually make the trip or cancel? It is also possible something did come up, and she simply could not communicate it to you or her other clients.
In all cases of NC/NS, it is probably better to judge on the side of the provider. Chalk it up to experience, an unknown, or even try sending her a message to inquire if she is ok - you never really know.
. . . expect a call if something changes with the appointment. In my opinion waiting for a week afterwards and trying to contact her for an explanation and a rescheduling if it's possible would be a good idea. Then if no response and no explanation I see nothing wrong with mentioning it on the board.
You stated you spoke with her & you provided verification info...... but then you stated her reply was she would contact you with her location. If you never heard from her again how would you plan on meeting her without even knowing where she was located?
And you are asking if you should post a complaint on a discussion board that she didn't follow through with a meeting????.....hmmm, doesn't really sound to me like you had an appointment, otherwise she would have followed through with an email to at least confirm she had checked your screening information and given you an idea of where she would be located.
If you didn't ever hear back from her then you didn't have an appointment. Most traveling providers receive at least 75 to 100 emails every time she announces a visit. There is a very strong chance that the provider you are referring to had replies that did not spend time on the phone and then require additional attention. (*Some ladies just prefer the hobbyist who provides the information she needs and sets the appointment time, all of the other time demands with phone conversations etc just convince her the gentleman will expect additional time in addition to what she is getting compensated for*)
Especially with touring providers, the efficient well stated hobbyist who provides the visiting provider with the necessary info and expedites his information will get an an appointment set. Some ladies just don't have excessive time to invest with lengthy phone conversations and numerous email communication. When a provider is traveling, many times her time is limited as she is working during most of her waking hours.
Regardless, if you did not receive confirmation that she had agreed to a meeting then no meeting was set. She could have stated during your phone conversation that she would get back to you with her location and confirm the date & time but if she was booked then returning calls to all hobbyist that had contacted her could have been a very time consuming process.
I'm still confused as to how you say you were left without a date and you didn't have time for a plan B .... you never even knew where she was located.... Just my thoughts based on what you stated.... kisses `T
I took the advice to wait and see ... And yes the provider did email me days later apologizing for the missed appointment (family emergency) much like WildTurkey and jazz32 mentioned. To me it is a closed matter with the outcome as good as it could be. I would still consider meeting her if she comes town again.
E'nuff said.
-- Modified on 3/18/2007 10:11:22 AM