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Newbie - FAQ

"Buying" a reference w/ a VS gift card ???... that's a new one !!!
Tori Of ATL See my TER Reviews 2024 reads
posted

While I have witnessed some providers who try to exploit a gentleman's attention by making him feel obligated to buying her things.... actually telling a guy to buy a VS gift card to help with references is a new one!

My suggestion, spend the money on joining a site that protects you while still offering a reference to a provider. There are several sites that can provide this to a gentleman.I wold NEVER encourage a gentleman to send a provider anything out of obligation or at her direction.... especially before you ever even meet her !!!  

Most established providers are also very concerned with leaving a paper trail that can jeopardize both her lifestyle as well as the hobbyists. (*Any provider that is committed to protecting her clients would never encourage a hobbyist to send her anything directly to her location.The simple trail of his charge cards to her location is just insane!!*) If you encounter anything of this sort I'd suggest you re-think this providers priorities.

There have been several threads discussing first time visits and reference checks... most can be accessed by using the search tab and entering the words reference or first visit... anything along those lines. (*This handy tool will pop up the results in a couple seconds and you can read away*)    

Best wishes in finding what you seek.....
Know your provider (*and her reputation*)     kisses ~Tori

realgent73113 reads

I am brand new to the hobby. Providers want references. Since I am new I don't have any. So then they ask to verify my employment. I really don't want them calling my company. One lady told me if I sent her a Victoria's Secret gift card VS could provide the reference. I did that and never heard from her again.

How do you protect your privacy and still provide the supplier with the information they need? I really welcome any thoughtsfrom those of you who have figured this out.

Thanks,

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WildTurkey-1012047 reads

There is a certain amount of risk for both parties, amounts to how much of a risk you are willing to take. If you find a well-established provider who is willing to accept employment verification in lieu of references, that in itself is a break, many just will not accept that. You just have to find a provider that you feel comfortable enough with to share that info. with at some point.

Another option is joining a screening service such as DateCheck or Preferred 411, but then again they are going to check your employment first. At some point you are almost going to have to take a calculated risk with someone you feel comfortable with.

The only other option I know is to look around and you will find some providers who do no screening and you would be able to use them for a reference later. Not sure I would recommend that, but to each his own.

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edana1921 reads

How do Those new to the hobby go about getting screened if they don't have an employer - I am on Social Security Disability and would like to hobby a little, about every 3 - 6 months is all I can afford.

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WildTurkey-1011943 reads

Assuming you have no references either, the trick is going to be getting your first reliable reference. You are simply going to have to find a reputable provider in your area that you will be able to use later for a reference, so the next time will be easier. Basically, you will have to find a kind soul who is willing to take the extra time to check you out, which could involve your giving more personal info. than maybe you are comfortable with. If you check around some providers have very good screeners who get paid to do just that.
 Another thought would be to check into joining services like DateCheck or Preferred 411, they would do a background on you and make the info. available to the ladies that you are ok.
  Again, the first one can be tedious, if you were in my area I would be happy to help more.

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keystonekid1611 reads

Many threads on this topic.  Do a search and ye shall find.

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Misty_Bay1573 reads

I agree with Wild Turkey, if you choose a provider who is established with positve reviews, her own website, etc., you shouldn't have any problem.  

I often receive a business # instead of a reference.  I block my #, call the business, ask for John Doe and they either say just a moment I'll put you through, at which point I hang up as she puts me on hold, or I'm sometimes asked who I am and I just make up a name (not Misty Bay) or I'm told they're unavailable and then I say o.k., I'll try later.  I never leave a message.

That's it.  Then I toss the #.  

I am anxious to meet you and to maintain a reputation as a fun, yet safe and discreet, provider.

Related Link: Discreet Misty Bay's Site

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nitlion42066 reads

Wow!  You are so beautiful and sexy that I might fly all the way to Tampa just to see you.  Unfortunately, I see that you are soon leaving us.

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Misty_Bay1639 reads

Thank you!  Yes, I'm leaving at the end of May.

Related Link: Misty Bay's Site

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Bostonguy572057 reads

Well, you learned one lesson...never fall for the old "Victoria's Secret will verify you" trick again...

If it where me, I would out this provider...

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little phil1934 reads

verified that he was an easy mark.

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Tori Of ATL2025 reads

While I have witnessed some providers who try to exploit a gentleman's attention by making him feel obligated to buying her things.... actually telling a guy to buy a VS gift card to help with references is a new one!

My suggestion, spend the money on joining a site that protects you while still offering a reference to a provider. There are several sites that can provide this to a gentleman.I wold NEVER encourage a gentleman to send a provider anything out of obligation or at her direction.... especially before you ever even meet her !!!  

Most established providers are also very concerned with leaving a paper trail that can jeopardize both her lifestyle as well as the hobbyists. (*Any provider that is committed to protecting her clients would never encourage a hobbyist to send her anything directly to her location.The simple trail of his charge cards to her location is just insane!!*) If you encounter anything of this sort I'd suggest you re-think this providers priorities.

There have been several threads discussing first time visits and reference checks... most can be accessed by using the search tab and entering the words reference or first visit... anything along those lines. (*This handy tool will pop up the results in a couple seconds and you can read away*)    

Best wishes in finding what you seek.....
Know your provider (*and her reputation*)     kisses ~Tori

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splunge1800 reads

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hookedondietcokes1839 reads

It's a method of sreening no reference clients by a very classy well reviewed provider that I know. The lady I know would never steal from anybody. used an alias so I would not get a bunch of PMs

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sgandolfs1641 reads

and you should be fine - this is a two way street, and if you cannot trust someone with that info, do you really expect them to trust you with an invite into their boudoir?

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Amertricot1988 reads

Okay, here's a situation that can't be that unusual. I recently took an early retirement buyout from work, so no work # and as a newbie, no refs... now what?

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ReeseRivera2038 reads

That really isn't a problem for a veteran screener. I could still verify you depending on how recently you left your company and especially if you were in upper management. I won't reveal everything on the public board but I've had this situation come up.

-- Modified on 3/12/2007 6:02:21 PM

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WildTurkey-1011997 reads

Maybe thhttp://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=22243&boardID=33&page=1is will help:


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tnyogaman1807 reads

I emailed a provider in South Carolina and unfortunately, she wouldn't meet without a reference. I respect her caution but asked if she would accept Date-Check. I haven't heard back but would be interested if others have found providers generally accept this service.

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