How much money over the years have you spent at restaurants? Cups of coffee? Any number of other things that weren't strictly necessary to keep food on your table, clothes on your back, and a roof over your head?
Life, after all, is meant to be lived.So having a pet is a one way trip to heartbreak. You KNOW you're going to outlive them. And as they age, they have various medical issues that pop up. Now, I'm not so hard up so as not to be able to afford care for my beloved dog. But she's been developing some (non-cancerous, thankfully!) masses on her body and I can't help but mentally add up the funds I've used to enjoy my time with wonderful providers and think, "man, I could've totally paid to make my dog completely healthy with that cash". Thankfully, she's otherwise fine and the masses aren't bothersome to her.
Nevertheless this bothers me. Can anyone relate? Or share their own thoughts/views?
I NEVER add up how much I've spent.
Made that mistake one year and never will again.
Which credit card uses that "Priceless" tagline? Yeah, that.
Made that mistake one year and never will again.
It is not healthy to feel guilty about the things you do in life. If spending money in the hobby is going to make you feel guilty about what you could have done with the money you should probably rethink your choices.
I am not intending to be insensitive.
I'd have to agree with TMT in that there's no room for guilt in this hobby.
Also, dogs should always come before pussy.
Unless the pussy is mom, sis, an aunt...and grandmas have no business being in this business.
I am not intending to be insensitive.
I have met a few pretty hot women that were grandmas before 40, Grandma come her I wanna....you get it! 
Didn't take it like you're being insensitive. Relatively speaking it's been a very small percentage of my income. It was just a thought that came to me. And tbh, the money either goes here or in the dating scene. And I'm not going to give up pursuing women. That'd be the worst! haha
I am not intending to be insensitive.
How much money over the years have you spent at restaurants? Cups of coffee? Any number of other things that weren't strictly necessary to keep food on your table, clothes on your back, and a roof over your head?
Life, after all, is meant to be lived.
This. This is a great take and helps take away that crisis of conscious. Oh, all that music gear I invested in once upon a time... or those sports cards... all that junk food... haha Thanks man!
Life, after all, is meant to be lived.
I'll take those sports cards off your hands. They're just junk...and I recycle paper
Life, after all, is meant to be lived.
...is that your dog is completely dependant on you, & your providers are not. While I'm sure they benefit from your company, they're able to cast as wide a net as they feel necessary. But only you can decide what kind of care your dog receives.
Let's hear it for the dog lovers, OP and myself included. Well said DreiHoden.
You've made a great point here. But you've missed one dependent... me dependent on our wonderful providers! (for now...) Like I said in the original post, the masses aren't an actual health concern. It's just a constant reminder of potential health problems which, again, I could afford to have taken care of if and when they come around. And I hope that's not any time soon.
It's all about what your priorities are. If you are able to spend on a hobby it doesn't matter what it is, women, poker, football, etc. It's about what makes you happy without harming others. AS for the money you spend on a hobby...you can't take money with you to the grave....but you can die with a smile on your face.
The temporary pleasure of a woman's company is no substitute for the unconditional love of a dog. You may feel the regret of 'wasting' money on conditional (gotta pay to feel loved) encounters when the one always by your side hurts or suffers. It's your perspective afterwards. In the moment, you are swept up by the desire to feel fulfilled, if even for an hour. Your dog just loves you and wants to be with you no matter what.
I guess I can't quite compare a dog's love vs a woman's company. One is better than the other? Afraid I can't go there as both are fantastic! My dog is well cared for and loved and will continue to be. So no one is really suffering at this point. And someday our ATF providers will fade away or retire. We'll find another. Maybe. But so too will we do the same with our beloved pets
You have commented on something that most men in the hobby probably think about at one time or another: guilt from something they regret, like what you did with your faithful dog. But is it a deeper issue, I wonder.
For some time I have been struggling with the psychological ramifications from being in this hobby. Oh sure, you can tell me to get out of the hobby if what I am doing bothers me; but it's not that easy as you know, just like it's not that easy for many a provider to call it quits, even though she might want to. My question to you or to anyone else is this (something that goes beyond guilt, if you have the balls to be able to answer honesty): do regret partaking in this hobby? I understand, more or less, the reasons why some of us are here, and, quite honestly, I will continue to partake, from time to time, because the need to satisfy that which is missing in my life is too great for me to overlook, or even overcome.
It's probably true but who wants to ask whether we regret partaking in this hobby?
I sure don't want to ask myself or think about it. I just choose to put my daily "coffee money" towards other vices, I mean hobbies.
For some time I have been struggling with the psychological ramifications from being in this hobby. Oh sure, you can tell me to get out of the hobby if what I am doing bothers me; but it's not that easy as you know, just like it's not that easy for many a provider to call it quits, even though she might want to. My question to you or to anyone else is this (something that goes beyond guilt, if you have the balls to be able to answer honesty): do regret partaking in this hobby? I understand, more or less, the reasons why some of us are here, and, quite honestly, I will continue to partake, from time to time, because the need to satisfy that which is missing in my life is too great for me to overlook, or even overcome.
I've had a lot of great experiences and made some great memories. Why would I regret that? I think it is perfectly normal to wonder about the path not taken and where that might have led. But there's nothing you can do about it. The only thing you can do is if you aren't happy with the results of the decisions you have made then learn from that and make different decisions.
Let me see if I can put this into a different light. The direct guilt of what you could have or should have done with the money is not the biggest issue.
Guilt does things that could cause much greater harm. Guilt can cause self harm if you are emotionally attached to the hobby and a SO. Self harm can be two fold. the first being the obvious that you may have that guilt overcome you to want top do harm to yourself. The other is the guilt may make you do harm in the sense that it overcomes you and you tell your SO. Then what, you break up your family trying to satisfy a need.
Which need is greater?
To keep your family together or get some? If it is the first then the latter needs to be thought out. If it is the first then maybe a divorce would allow for less guilt!
Guilt is a strong emotion and makes people do detrimental things even if not intended.
Life is a balance, just do NOT underestimate the power of guilt as it may cause you to do what you fear most! Getting outted, or whatever that may be!
I regret being in the hobby. I have felt shame (I am bad and unworthy) many more times than guilt (I did something bad). The first time with an escort I became deeply ashamed and suicidal and that's why I don't do it anymore. 'Sex with strangers' vs with someone I love or am committed took too much out of me. Sex is such an intimate act for me that I can't do it casually or for fun. As humans we all need connection with others and love. Connection based upon commerce is not the fulfilling, true connection we all need. We would all be much better off if we found that deep connection independent of $$. By taking one of the most intimate acts of connection and making it conditional ($$, favors, power, etc), we lose or numb an essential part of ourselves that will affect our ability to truly connect and love others; we become less of who we can be and actually less connected. This is why I regret being in the hobby.
For some time I have been struggling with the psychological ramifications from being in this hobby. Oh sure, you can tell me to get out of the hobby if what I am doing bothers me; but it's not that easy as you know, just like it's not that easy for many a provider to call it quits, even though she might want to. My question to you or to anyone else is this (something that goes beyond guilt, if you have the balls to be able to answer honesty): do regret partaking in this hobby? I understand, more or less, the reasons why some of us are here, and, quite honestly, I will continue to partake, from time to time, because the need to satisfy that which is missing in my life is too great for me to overlook, or even overcome.
What you said is very understandable.
You don't feel shame or guilt for being on TER now even if you don't see anyone as you say?
If you send PMs to providers, is that any different than sending to a secret girlfriend if married?
For some time I have been struggling with the psychological ramifications from being in this hobby. Oh sure, you can tell me to get out of the hobby if what I am doing bothers me; but it's not that easy as you know, just like it's not that easy for many a provider to call it quits, even though she might want to. My question to you or to anyone else is this (something that goes beyond guilt, if you have the balls to be able to answer honesty): do regret partaking in this hobby? I understand, more or less, the reasons why some of us are here, and, quite honestly, I will continue to partake, from time to time, because the need to satisfy that which is missing in my life is too great for me to overlook, or even overcome.
I have no problems with being on TER. Maybe one day I will. Talking to pretty women, no matter the medium, does not cause me trouble. Everyone has to decided the their motivations in their own lives.
and even may I say a time waster? no new reviews...judges others for doing reviews...mr. morality...can tomorrow be the day you have a problem with being on TER? pretty please????
I think you may be being a little hard on yourself. Even if you had unlimited funds, it may not have been possible to avoid the current condition of your pet. You have provided a home, food and love for your dog. Unfortunately, many animals don't receive such benefits. You have already done more than you may think. I hope you and your pet have many more years together.
women to see and want to repeat with. My problem is time and it can be an addiction. Gotta have priorities i guess
When my cat died, I cried and cried and cried. I am extremely attached to a certain Frenchie and when he hurt his hip and was on muscle relaxants and pain pills and could not lay down for 3-4 days straight because his hip hurt so bad, it was very hard thing to watch him in so much pain. I swear the dog was crying...sure looked like tears running down his face to me. Animals get the same illnesses as people do.
In my opinion, you should take care of your dogs physical health. The love a pet gives his owner is unconditional so it is only right to return that love by taking good care of it.
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-- Modified on 1/31/2016 6:47:49 PM
Yeah, my dog is my best family. She's not unhealthy at this point. Honestly, the masses are pretty standard in her line. If it was cancerous I'd be more concerned. It's a tough call to make, ya know? The age of the pet vs. life expectancy/quality after treatment vs. the cost of treatment. I know we're not on borrowed time at this point but she's only got roughly 2 - 3 years left judging by her own dog-parents. She's been great to me and will continue to be so
In my opinion, you should take care of your dogs physical health. The love a pet gives his owner is unconditional so it is only right to return that love by taking good care of it.
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-- Modified on 1/31/2016 6:47:49 PM
Are these masses in a place that COULD cause her discomfort or get irritated by rubbing or her scratching?
2-3 years is a long time to live with masses that may eventually become worse. Some masses can grow into the muscular tissue, glands and bone. You should discuss this with your vet. I say have them removed before they turn into something worse...it will be less expensive in the end. What type of mass does she have?
Animal Lover!
Belinda
Go to your local Petsmart. Most of them have a veterinary clinic called Bansfield attached to them. For $35 a month, my dog is covered for most of his basic checkups, shots, flea medicines, etc. If something really bad happens and he needs major surgery, my discount is at least 50%. This reduces the likelihood of a medical emergency becoming a financial emergency where my dog is concerned...which frees up money for me to spend on providers. You can't get sex from your pet...and you can't get unconditional love from providers...so therefore, you need a solution that allows you to have both in your life.
Got a little weird there at the end but the Petsmart idea is a great one! Thanks man! Much appreciated.
I have recently had to put two dogs down. One had cancer and the other had arthritis so bad she could barely walk. I guess I should have had a parrot. They can reach eighty years of age.