Being a provider and not knowing who or what's on the other side of the door has you in a vulnerable place. You didn't know what to do. If someone is this disrespectful, maybe they are violent, too? It was a difficult situation and you did the best you could. Blacklisting and sharing your experience gives you the power you felt you didn't have at the time. Many of us have been in situations where we've felt vulnerable and taken advantage of. You did the best you could and there is power in sharing your experience with others. Be safe.
I just... JUST 30 min ago had a guy that I met before come over. He actually reviewed me a few months ago also. He snuck condom off mid session and I noticed almost right away.
I told him he needs to leave, this isnt cool, you can't expect me to let you stay ect and he got mad saying "it hasn't been 30 min, stop your overreacting" and was getting more and more frustrated. I didn't feel PHYSICALLY threatened but he definitely wasn't respecting what I was saying and wouldn't leave.
SOMEHOW I decided it was just easier to finish the apt. Then at the end I see a flash on his phone and he's trying to snap nude pix of me.
That's when I got furious and said go. You need to leave now and showed him the door.
I promise I'm not a troublemaker... And I know most guys on ter aren't like this... I was just completely shocked because I thought he was fine. He reviewed me!
Not sure how to go forward with this if anything. Would prefer to just forget but I am worrying about retaliation
You were completely within your rights to toss him the minute he took off the condom.
Only thing I might say is posting this on the provider only board might be better. But again you have the right to post where you want.
I think its probably unfair to out him over something that i really dont think would happen in another situation..Aside from that... (And I know that's a big problem) he was always fine. Definitely wasn't threatening harm in any way I just think it would have been a huge argument.
But It really is just beyond disrespectful to not only do that, but basically argue with me until I just wanted to get out of the situation.
Only thing I might say is posting this on the provider only board might be better. But again you have the right to post where you want.
Post more information on this guy on the Provider Only Board.
opefully you can.
And this person, in my opinion, should be blacklisted.... that was not you consenting for bareback nor for pics. unacceptable and very dangerous to allow this kind of stuff to slide by in our community. If he thinks it's ok... he'll pull that sh*t again and that does no one a favor.
We need to reward real gents and remove or reduce the chances of scumbags from getting to play here. Our safety is #1 or this becomes no fun for anyone. We have to feel safe to have fun and not have to have our guard up unnaturally high.
Stand up for yourself and blacklist him and if you can, go right ahead and blacklist his email, phone, everything you can so others have a better chance of avoiding him.
What retaliation do you fear? That he would blow your identity? Maybe raise your rates. Even one of the very high end providers is retiring soon for fatigue of handling too many jerks. Oh bother.. screen screen screen, perhaps raise rates, and use the black list and check it... all we can do. And find the gents that are sweet and welcome their return!
I personally stay off of backpage, never been there. I find that P411 has 99.99 % very nice people that have come to me from there. Maybe exclusively take appointments from P411?
I've thrown one guy out for hugging me too aggressively when he first met me... 10 seconds in and I get too groped and almost accosted. I asked him to leave one minute into introductions. He later apologized but it freaked me out so wouldn't see him... but I didn't black list him... that was just an over aggressive hug but still enough for me to ask him to leave. Why go further, that's not a good sign for good chemistry. We need to feel safe and comfortable. Things like this don't happen often... but one other person went too far and that was a cluster of disasters and though they don't realize in the moment how scary this can be.... stand your ground, respect yourself, blacklist him if you can, and shake it off. Condoms need to stay on in the FS world! Consent is always key and is a dealbreaker in being allowed to keep playing in this hobby. No consent is a form of rape or intent to rape and is not ok. Surreptitious photos are not ok.
I am sorry this happened but have your dignity and stand your ground, thank you for sharing, black list the dude that doesn't even come near earning the title of a gentleman, he's just a reckless dangerous dude with an inapropriate treatment of women and shouldn't be here, and shake it off. See if there is anything you can do to up your screening or change your outreach as far as where you advertise. All you can do. Chin up.
I know many FS providers and others who have guns, tazers, etc. If anyone oversteps and wont leave, tazer them? Many providers have protection like this as well. Take a martial arts class or tazer training. Tazers are so inexpensive these days while guns are much more scary and much more expensive.
My 3 cents
...seriously. He's obviously a predator and should be dealt with harshly. He's an imminent danger to other ladies.
This all just made me so angry again. Thinking back to the way I felt and just the confirmation of my feelings. I send him a text and blocked him.
"I will never allow someone to treat me the way you did in fear of retaliation of a bad review. Your a sick fuck. You should be banned from ever seeing another girl. I threw up in my mouth when I let you keep going. Fuck."
Hope he sees this thread. I would feel so horrible if something like that happened to someone else
I guess this really is TMI, but the point of posting the text is just in case anyone else might feel that way. Worried about getting a bad review. Even if it had resulted in a bad review it wouldn't have been worth it. Hopefully this helps someone. Although this is easily easily avoidable with good screening and not second guessing yourself to end a session when something goes wrong
It just sucks, knowing he got away with it and got what he wanted after. Left like nothing happened. For all he cares he got a few extra seconds of raw action, I guess it was a good day for him
-- Modified on 1/27/2016 12:58:04 AM
-- Modified on 1/27/2016 1:18:52 AM
Send him another text and tell him to read this post. Here's a message for you, you M----r F----r: you're a piece of shit!
And I'm sorry I'm not going to keep the drama going, but he actually blamed it on me and sent these 2 texts. "You reuse condoms you're sick" then "You're a sweet girl, I was just upset because I think you reused the condoms every time I seen you. You always wipe the condom off on your sheets and you say because you don't like the lube which I just don't think makes any sense. "
Listeen I wipe the lube off the condom because I prefer MY spit because I feel I am allergic to lube. Or at least it irritated me down there. WHY AND HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU REUSE CONDOMS.
I can't believe it. I told him he deserves to get shot. To even decent it in that way. Yes I am now 100% convinced he deserves to be outed tll
That's still a bannable offense, regardless of what he did. Use back channels, blacklists, etc to get the word out. And most of us are smart enough to know that the occasional bad review is very often a sign that the guy is in the wrong.
Sorry this happened to you.
I am not doing myself any favors continuing to post about this here, thank you everyone for your help and the ones that have pmed me and am talking to
Right now, people can only guess who this guy is by looking at your past reviews. That doesn't seem fair to the guys who aren't the subject of your post.
I read early reviews and recent reviews to see if the provider has changed. I read the worst 5 (at a minimum) as well as the best 5. Finally, I read the reviews of friends, those I like, those I respect, and those who write well.
If you're writing honest reviews, there should be no problem.
It's also all about MY safety.
If I've done a good job in advance (checking reviews, PM-ing others, good hygiene, etc.), the chances of my having a pleasurable session increases as does hers. No incorrect expectations, right!
The point I was trying to make is that people are going to look at who reviewed her within the last few months to try to guess who the guy was. All the guys will be suspect. That doesn't seem fair.
If you're writing honest reviews, there should be no problem.
It's also all about MY safety.
If I've done a good job in advance (checking reviews, PM-ing others, good hygiene, etc.), the chances of my having a pleasurable session increases as does hers. No incorrect expectations, right!
Why not? We routinely outed a provider who keeps on ripping people off.
I say do it.
Sorry this happened to you.
Outing means posting personal information such as their real name, etc. That will get you banned from TER.
Just out his TER is.
You don't even have to go as far as what Vorlon mentions. Sometimes all you have to do is poke back a some of the board's seediest and you get the instant time out. Wad knows what I mean.
Being a provider and not knowing who or what's on the other side of the door has you in a vulnerable place. You didn't know what to do. If someone is this disrespectful, maybe they are violent, too? It was a difficult situation and you did the best you could. Blacklisting and sharing your experience gives you the power you felt you didn't have at the time. Many of us have been in situations where we've felt vulnerable and taken advantage of. You did the best you could and there is power in sharing your experience with others. Be safe.
I'm so sorry you had to experience this sweetheart. No woman should ever have to deal with this, unfortunately we do. Don't be afraid of an review. I've had two give me bad reviews because I had to kick their sorry asses out of session. Guys will see all of your other good reviews and ignore the entitled/narcissistic ones. Take up a self defense class and stick up for yourself sweetie. Have a safe call or share your incall with a provider friend that way she can look out for you too if need be, it's not babysitting it's STICKING TOGETHER, nothing is %100 but atleast we can TRY, and someone would know who did it if something happened to you. Some "men" will take kindness for WEAKNESS! And run with it, if they feel just a little that they have any chance of taking advantage of you, THEY WILL! Screen yes, screening is great I agree, however I've dealt with a crazy client who had given me several references and employment. You cannot screen out crazy, you have to be prepared for the worst, our business has great sides to it, but is also very dangerous. Blacklist his ass and to hell with him! He will never learn unless someone steps up! He would have gotten pure hell if I dealt with him, men are powerful yes, and so are we! I was reading a post about a girl who got raped and robbed and the client didn't think she would call the cops because she was an escort, she didn't give a damn about a fine or a few days in jail, she didn't qant it to happen to anyone else and wanted justice, he thought he got away until his ass was in jail with charges. Or the provider who shot a client for trying to kill her! She is free and it was self defense we matter! Never be afraid to call IF you cannot handle it yourself or if you need to, they need to know we are not afraid to call, period. I wish the best for you and if you ever want to talk or get coffee let me know. I will email you some helpful information.
That is inexcusable what he did! I am shocked and disgusted at his disrespectful behavior. He should be blacklisted; he shouldn't be allowed to partake if he is going to act on this way. I don't know what the answer is to preventing him from doing this again, but maybe others here can make some suggestions. SORRY!
This just kills me to read that there are guys out there like this. You are one of the sweetest girls I've ever met and just reading what happened pissed me off! I'm so, so happy that you've taken the great advice from others on the board here. Your safety is most important and we are damn lucky to be able to spend time with sweet, beautiful young women like yourself.
I told him he needs to leave, this isnt cool, you can't expect me to let you stay ect and he got mad saying "it hasn't been 30 min, stop your overreacting" and was getting more and more frustrated. I didn't feel PHYSICALLY threatened but he definitely wasn't respecting what I was saying and wouldn't leave.
SOMEHOW I decided it was just easier to finish the apt. Then at the end I see a flash on his phone and he's trying to snap nude pix of me.
That's when I got furious and said go. You need to leave now and showed him the door.
I promise I'm not a troublemaker... And I know most guys on ter aren't like this... I was just completely shocked because I thought he was fine. He reviewed me!
Not sure how to go forward with this if anything. Would prefer to just forget but I am worrying about retaliation
proposals about using the PO board, reporting a rape, or suggesting particular blacklists are either unrealistic or possibly ineffective.
Men who know experienced local providers/schedulers you know who would be willing to offer her practical and locally relevant information about how to handle this encounter and improve her own security might suggest that those women reach out to her.
Second best, PM her and suggest such experts.
I would hope that most of the guys here would recognize this as a rape but this is better handled by experienced providers directly in contact with her.
You did the right thing by bringing it here. The Minnesota group of providers is the best in the world. They are the most supportive and friendly group I have had the privilege to know. I'm sure you have received many PM's from them and they are helping you through this.
I wonder if it was the guy I posted a warning about a few weeks ago?
I've never met you but I feel inclined to comment. You're a person; a human being long before you're a provider. Well-deserving of respect and to be treated nicely. You put yourself in a very vulnerable position with each and every encounter. To have to deal with jerks like this is neither fair nor right. Never feel like you have to "take" anything from anyone for any reason.
Pay attention to the tingling Spidey-senses when they come about and be well 
rb
I told him he needs to leave, this isnt cool, you can't expect me to let you stay ect and he got mad saying "it hasn't been 30 min, stop your overreacting" and was getting more and more frustrated. I didn't feel PHYSICALLY threatened but he definitely wasn't respecting what I was saying and wouldn't leave.
SOMEHOW I decided it was just easier to finish the apt. Then at the end I see a flash on his phone and he's trying to snap nude pix of me.
That's when I got furious and said go. You need to leave now and showed him the door.
I promise I'm not a troublemaker... And I know most guys on ter aren't like this... I was just completely shocked because I thought he was fine. He reviewed me!
Not sure how to go forward with this if anything. Would prefer to just forget but I am worrying about retaliation
Christine is such a sweet girl. It makes me sick that someone would do this probably thinking they could get away with it because of that sweetness and she's soft spoken. Pisses me off. Stay safe ladies!
It is important to shine the light on the few who behave very badly. It is not selfish vengeance, it is an effort to protect each other. The second thing you did well was cut off the conversation when it got repetitive.
My advice would be two things;
do follow through on a blacklist that providers have and do not talk, text or see this guy again.
Second; don't respond or engage. You gain nothing by engaging in any conversation with him of any kind. This one is for your safety. I don't know if he could be dangerous but we all know that he has no respect for you and he is abusive. Putting you at risk is abuse. Sending a text with strong language could incite a person calling him a Fxxk etc... could put you at some risk and he does not deserve any of your attention ever.
Transaction declined
Unfortunately it looks like your attempt to purchase VIP membership has failed due to your card being declined. Good news is that we have several other payment options that you could try.
We thank you for your purchase!
Membership should be activated shortly. You'll receive notification!