Jelly in the Morning
There was a married couple in their living room, watching television. Suddenly the guy got the urge to have a hot 69 with his wife, "Hey, baby," he said, "How 'bout I take you to the room and we go down on each other?"

"No..." she replies, "I'm having my period."

"I don't care let's do it anyway." the guy replied.

"Ewww... okay." She said, "But what if someone comes to the door."

"I'll just tell them I was eating a jelly sandwich and that I'm a messy guy." So they go in the room and they're going at it hardcore, when the doorbell rings. The guy looks up, and he decides to leave it. The door bell rings again, and a third time. The man finally gets up and opens the door and it's a Fed Ex mail carrier.

"I have a package for you." The mail carrier said looking at the guy in a weird way.

"Okay, I'll sign for it."

"What's the matter with your face?" The mail carrier asked.

"I was eating a jelly sandwich." The guy replied.

"Yeah? Well, you got some peanut butter on your nose."