What about guys that a provider just doesn't like because of what they say on the forum and she blacklist them out of spite?
A client of mine, whom I've seen for over a year was told that he'd been blacklisted as dangerous. I put in his info and yep! there it was.
I feel awful for him because he is truly one of my very favorite people to see. He is SO mild mannered and we've had lots of discussions about kink and how he could never hurt someone, even if they liked it.
I really want to help clear his name, but have no idea if that's possible or how to go about it. Just as it's awful when someone writes a negative and fake review about the ladies, I can't abide someone doing this to him.
Thoughts?
some guys are perfect gents with one gal and complete raving and dangerous lunatics with others.
Not only that but blacklists are there to keep ladies safe. Discussing blacklists with the client
puts the reporting provider in danger and endangers other providers as well. My suggestion is
to steer the client away from those discussions and stay out of it. Enjoy your client for the great
guy you know him to be but understand that not all may have had the same experience.
Hope that helps, Belinda
-- Modified on 10/5/2015 5:54:39 PM
Blacklists are not the end all be all. I was supposedly on one but whoever put in the info put in the wrong info, it was a compleatly different person then me. They are only as good as the person putting in the info much like what they guys put in reviews here. I was lucky and was able to get it cleared up but some can't. And on both sides if you have someone with an ax to grind they will do what they can to bring the other person down. Really sad when both guys and gals feel they have to stoop to this leave when they don't get along with someone. I don't want to see anyone get hurt in any way either by word or god forbid physically.
Thank you. I don't want to be naive but it's just very strange that of all the people I've seen *he* would be a Jekyl/Hyde. I never share the info (he reported it to me) and he doesn't know who blacklisted him. It's all very unfortunate. I also wonder if it's just a weird snafu (shit does happen) and someone transposed numbers or something.
Anyhoo. I take the safety of other providers very seriously, and would not want to jeopardize the wellbeing of anyone in the community. Thanks for your input and thank you to those who messaged me privately
And I have head from more than one provider that they seldom pay attention to blacklists because they are too easily abused by someone with an axe to grind.
What about guys that a provider just doesn't like because of what they say on the forum and she blacklist them out of spite?
Providers should be free to use the tools they have to protect themselves and each other.
It's up to each provider to use blacklists for there intended purpose and with mindfulness. It's important
for each provider to glean what usefulness they can from blacklists. At least she is able to make
an informed decision. Also, its pretty easy to spot those made with sincere attempts at cautioning other providers as opposed to those made out of spite.
.
How do you find out if you have been BLACKLISTED ?
which I hope they won't do.
-- Modified on 10/6/2015 9:55:02 AM
If a hobbiest is on a blacklist what is the danger if he is told ? please comment.
If they find out it was you who discussed it with the hobbyist, they ban you from the site further, it does a disservice to the rest of us who rarely blacklist people and have legitimate reason to even add them there in the first place .
I've seen a few "blacklisted" gentlemen before and yes they do change ....sometimes. But,
like most they eventually burn you like they did to the other person once they get comfortable.
At least some of them show up in a Google search. But unless you know exactly where to look and the site is open to anyone, it may be difficult to find out for sure.
by being a provider happy to see him. If he wants to see someone else, make sure he gives all that info up front (helps establish rapport). Then have him use YOU as a reference, and you respond promptly and with follow up detailed info on him from your perspective. The veteran providers are aware that BLs still need to be taken with a grain of salt.
It's kinda like a felon: did he commit murder, tax evasion, or a weed bust?
I have no problem seeing someone busted for weed or tax evasion, ya know?
Some girls ARE petty; we know that, too. Some girls will BL a guy just because he didn't check his ass for wadded up toilet paper (not realizing that happens to them, too). Yeah, dudes; happens all the time 
FWIW,
TL
I appreciate your input. Truly.
Could you post on the Provider's only board and see if anyone will share their experiences? It's good to trust your gut but you might also get some new insights.
I don't know that you can clear his name other than being a reliable reference and helping him get whitelisted by other providers (if deserved)
In my opinion, I don't get myself caught up in these things. I wasn't there when he saw the lady. He could have been dangerous with her and not with you. He could be using you because he thinks you can somehow clear this up. Regardless, this isn't your battle. You weren't there. Just because he can behave himself with you doesn't mean he did with her. As a provider, I would feel REALLY unsafe is one provider can unblacklist a guy when a previous provider has blacklisted him. This would allow dangerous guys to no longer be blacklisted.
I feel awful for him because he is truly one of my very favorite people to see. He is SO mild mannered and we've had lots of discussions about kink and how he could never hurt someone, even if they liked it.
I really want to help clear his name, but have no idea if that's possible or how to go about it. Just as it's awful when someone writes a negative and fake review about the ladies, I can't abide someone doing this to him.
Thoughts?
Best practice is to not discuss this at all for all the safety related reasons listed here. Good clients can recover themselves from unwarranted scorn just like we can recover ourselves from "revenge" actions like bad reviews. Please, please do not share this privileged information with clients even if it seems innocent. We just never know.
9 times out of 10 then stick. If you vouch for him then maybe that will undo it. He must have done something to piss something off. I am not the same provider now as I was 4 years ago, your client has probably changed as well and learned to behave himself.
Why would you mention this on a public board? Blacklist stuff is for OUR safety and your exploiting it. Perhaps he didnt hurt somebody but harassed them, perhaps he got too close, maybe he shorted them, maybe he nc/ns. You can vouch for YOUR time with him but not somebody elses.
Do you think that the next people that write a review after a bad one about us do it to "clear our name"? No they do it to report on our time.
I need to stay away from MN.
You are one lady I would never take a reference from. You just broke all kinds of girl code, the kind of codes that keep us safe/alive/not robbed/not raped/not murdered.
Enjoy your client, guessing girlfriends isn't your thing anyway...or you would have instinctually known better. Yikes boo...
What's with all these out-of-state people chiming in on the Minnesota board?!
Attackers aside, you have some very sound advice here hun. I don't need to add to that. One thing I do want to add though. A guy was just arrested for attempting to hire a minor for prostitution. When they searched his vehicle they found the trunk lined with a plastic tarp, rubber gloves, & a large suitcase.
I'm telling you about this because that man had been blacklisted & someone, somehow managed to get him removed. I can't help but wonder how many gals encountered him & didn't live to tell about it.
Be safe young lady.
Fondly,
Leigh-Ann
... that kindness is a wonderful quality in a person--IMO the most important quality a person can have--but it can be taken advantage of by pathological liars and psychopaths.