I mentioned in an earlier post that a person can really only protect themselves. Some people will play unsafe.
Things that could be perceived as leading to BBFS. LTR - many guys and ladies see this as meaning now we can have unprotected sex.GFE - considered by many as unprotected sex most think BBBJ/DATY/DATO to some think unsafe
PSE - considered by many as unprotected sex most think greek travels some believe bbfs
Privates to Privates - Considered to be the same as having unprotected sex
Back room to a strip club - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
Married - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
Street walker - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
College party - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
Drunken night out at the bar - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
Dated a provider - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex My questions are... If we as a whole look at any person that has suggested/talked about/any of these things listed above who is left to participate in the hobby? Please do not say nuns and priests, we all know that is not 100% true either! Why not throw out 1 more thing that drives many people into a shadow screaming about unsafe people.
Many people believe anal sex/play gay/lesbian actions to be as much of a risk to human sexuality than bbfs! Does this mean prostate massage and play eliminates all these people from safe practices as well? Ladies that offer and men that participate in such are eliminated from hobby experiences? Now for me personally - I can not see myself believing and tracking all the conversations and reviews I read here being fact first and then creating a spread sheet to keep all of them straight! Holy hell I need a condom so I can go get laid! I am starting to think this is all getting blown out of proportion over a handful of unsafe sightings! We had 1 person collecting BBFS provider names....many have differing opinions as to the reason. On occasion a BBFS review pops up - again differing opinion as to the reason/validity Where do we draw the line at safe practices as WE participating in the hobby PERCEIVE them to be? When does RUMOR become reality
Back in July a new hobbyist posted a review stating he had what amounts to bbfs with a top 40 massage provider. The way it's worded eliminates the possibility of omitting the cover. This provider has over 70 reviews. And this hobbyist has been posting a lot of new reviews lately. So I have a few questions.
Knowing this info, do you as a hobbyist take that into account when you decide who to see?
Would you see the providers he has seen since?
Do the providers take that into account when deciding whether to see the new hobbyist?
Do the providers who have seen him after his review even know this, or even care?
Or am I reading the review wrong?
And of course the review could be fake.
Just wondering. And no, I am not up to no good. Flame away
Who this guy has seen has no bearing on who I will see. Of course, some guys are known for certain things and if I have an appetite for that, I might start there and read his reviews but...always research.
There are enough FS ladies I'm interested in that I don't have to take a chance on a YMMV girl based on some guy's review.
That being said, a review by a longtime brother with a lot of reviews probably carries more weight than say a person with 1-2 reviews
I have my own tastes and if I don't like how a lady looks or there is some other "negative" for me, I don't care what the review says as I won't see her.
... according to TER's official policy, I take that into account when reading reviews. Especially when one review is markedly different from all the many other reviews for a provider.
I look for patterns in reviews, and those help me decide whom to see or not see. I hope in this case providers, and schedulers, look at the reviews for this reviewer to see if there's any patterns that could be helpful for such a decision.
One thing always puzzles me when I see reviews like some for this reviewer... in one review in particular, it was clear the guy paid as much for FS with a massage provider as he could have paid for FS for at least an hour with any of the Top 10 FS providers in Minnesota. I wonder, why does he push a massage provider for FS and pay that much for it, when he could simply see a FS provider and most likely have a better experience because the provider will be comfortable with what he wants? There were a couple of his reviews, at least, where it was clear the provider was NOT comfortable with his beyond-menu requests and that seemed to put a dark cloud over the session. One thing I've learned in my "hobbying" experience is, the more comfortable the provider is, the more fun both of us have.
Short and sweet, no ill will intended.
If bbfs bothers a person they should abstain from sex period.
Reality if you have had sex with anyone that has had sex with someone else you have probably come across bbfs.
It does not matter if you are seeing ladies in the hobby or picking them up at a club somewhere.
The best you can do is come to grips with what YOU are comfortable with and go with that.
Wear condoms, use dental dams and no kissing to protect yourself if protection is your main concern.
If you've seen a well known, often reviewed, provider and she is good with, or suggests, BBFS based upon knowing you, do you put that in a review? There have been few that are OK with bbfs, not the review part, if i ask. Anyone else have this experience? I don't think I'm that special, so it has to be more common.
... when you ask for BBFS, does the provider ask if you'll pay for her medical bills and also compensate her for her missed work time if you should give her something other than your bare dick?
No, they never ask that nor do they ask for more money. I guess it's mutual trust or mutual stupidity. Whatever it is, we are mutually consenting adults.
... so there won't be any possibility of a Big Surprise about 9 months after the BBFS.
As luck would have it, one of us is.
You ask: Do the providers take that into account when deciding whether to see the new hobbyist?
I would not ever see the client and feel it is reckless of both parties to have this kind of behavior: she becomes a petri dish of cum and disease (potentially and even likely), he's playing Russian roulette, too.
I do not accept references from providers who do not keep track of clients who behave this way... as I don't wish to see men who behave this way. This activity here on TER can be anywhere from profane to sacred, however; this is worse than profane, it is all out irresponsible, disrespectful, insane and dangerous on both sides of the equation.
Those who are not selective play at high risk stakes. That's not what I'm here for! This 'Newbie" missed his sex-ed classes and may not live long. Same goes for the provider. Just plain dumb. If she behaves this way with the majority of her clients, she may or may not be long for this world.
Some of the providers and clients are selective and careful, staying alive and sexy and healthy is sexy. Statistically, disease is low in risk in this hobby but that is because historically providers are careful and use protection and do care about their health, and historically the majority of men who can afford this hobby are from a privileged and educated class that are also careful (yay for MN having the highest density of educated population per capita in US). These exceptions bode no one well. (and perhaps the massage gals are so inexpensive it isn't filtering out numbnuts).
Just saw Straight Out of Compton and saw how Easy E got HIV... no difference here in this careless local example of a Newbie and the provider.
Stick with providers that screen thoroughly and stick with clients with good/safe/respecting reputations. Those be my thoughts.
-- Modified on 8/23/2015 6:29:13 PM
exactly! I was thinking the same. I m not sure if everyone got the OPs question
I would not ever see the client and feel it is reckless of both parties to have this kind of behavior: she becomes a petri dish of cum and disease (potentially and even likely), he's playing Russian roulette, too.
I do not accept references from providers who do not keep track of clients who behave this way... as I don't wish to see men who behave this way. This activity here on TER can be anywhere from profane to sacred, however; this is worse than profane, it is all out irresponsible, disrespectful, insane and dangerous on both sides of the equation.
Those who are not selective play at high risk stakes. That's not what I'm here for! This 'Newbie" missed his sex-ed classes and may not live long. Same goes for the provider. Just plain dumb. If she behaves this way with the majority of her clients, she may or may not be long for this world.
Some of the providers and clients are selective and careful, staying alive and sexy and healthy is sexy. Statistically, disease is low in risk in this hobby but that is because historically providers are careful and use protection and do care about their health, and historically the majority of men who can afford this hobby are from a privileged and educated class that are also careful (yay for MN having the highest density of educated population per capita in US). These exceptions bode no one well. (and perhaps the massage gals are so inexpensive it isn't filtering out numbnuts).
Just saw Straight Out of Compton and saw how Easy E got HIV... no difference here in this careless local example of a Newbie and the provider.
Stick with providers that screen thoroughly and stick with clients with good/safe/respecting reputations. Those be my thoughts.
-- Modified on 8/23/2015 6:29:13 PM
BBFS is seemingly waay more common in civvie life when it comes to the usual one night stand.
The last study I looked at about a year ago confirmed what I suspected- sex workers are very educated in sexual protection & therefore much, much, more likely to ONLY ever partake in safe practices.
In MN so far, it seems the small world of BBFS is very much talked about and rumored- so yes when I hear of unsafe behavior I avoid it, however I never passed this information on because I never know it's origin, so unless I've witnessed unsafe behavior myself ..........I wouldn't pass ( the info.) it on to others I don't know, I have never seen with my own eye's anyone practice unsafe sex & I've have enjoyed some "doubles sessions"
Nor have I ever even been asked for BBFS, ever....
So (to me) that says a lot about this community and how very safe most everyone is.
I will mention when I first started out I met a random guy maybe twice ( & we didn't keep in touch) who hinted that gals he knows have done BBFS, now I'm not sure if he was telling the truth or not & I never encouraged the conversation because I was behaving safe & there was not going to be anything to convince me otherwise.......
This topic is a major one because I'll tell you something about being outed in the real world, many people
(Civvies, people that don't understand the hobby) would likely spread the rumor that you have diseases, if (when) they find out about a gals "hobby" .........
So many times women who go into this hobby also take that into consideration........
Many times that will be reflected in rates along the many other possible pitfalls, one has to consider all possibilities, after all this is not match dot com and we each have very specific expectations of each other 
In many ways this hobby can mark you and bring you down, thankfully there is a great upside -and here in MN anyway
(so far)are some very healthy, respectable, gentlemen, so the upside can be wonderful. 
-- Modified on 8/24/2015 10:53:53 AM
Mindy, good for you that you don't pass along rumors of BBFS. It's difficult to know the truth unless you witness it or get it from a rock-solid source. I don't consider a random review out of many to be such a source. For example, I know a well-known local provider with many reviews and an excellent reputation. One of her reviews out of the many mentioned BBFS. She didn't even know about it! When it was brought to her attention, she took quick action with TER to dispute it because it wasn't true.
I don't doubt there's some BBFS going on with providers. But I don't automatically believe everything I read by guys who wave their hands and boast, "Lookee what I did!!"
... and why take that risk? If someone has written those reviews it is not a rumor, it's 7 idiotic unsafe reviews. Not attractive and not safe, I would hope that the previous providers would warn me that he asked for such breaches beyond what is offered and safe. Otherwise, what's the point of screening? That is the point of screening!
There are plenty of men with great reputations (repeat clients only, for the most part at this point anyway - aside from references by providers, or P411)! I wish to ensure I feel safe and have a good time and not have to worry about someone hoping to break boundaries (that is not a good time when someone asks to break boundaries and can feel or be unsafe).
I don't doubt there's some BBFS going on with providers. But I don't automatically believe everything I read by guys who wave their hands and boast, "Lookee what I did!!"
7 reviews with BBFS mentioned? I'm obviously not reading the same reviews that you are.
I agree completely that if a provider is pushed to go beyond her comfort level--not just a single respectful request, quickly dropped with the first "No"--then that needs to be conveyed to other providers, especially when responding to a reference request. That is not rumor--it's HARD FACT as it was experienced by the provider reporting it.
What I was trying to say in my previous post, which it appears you misunderstood, is that I think it's unfair to a provider to automatically take as fact that she does BBFS with clients only because one review of many--dozens, even hundreds--mentions it. As I'm sure you know, many reviews stretch the truth if not obliterate it.
... and why take that risk? If someone has written those reviews it is not a rumor, it's 7 idiotic unsafe reviews. Not attractive and not safe, I would hope that the previous providers would warn me that he asked for such breaches beyond what is offered and safe. Otherwise, what's the point of screening? That is the point of screening!
I don't doubt there's some BBFS going on with providers. But I don't automatically believe everything I read by guys who wave their hands and boast, "Lookee what I did!!"
subject line was "fiction or no" it's just not worth the risk for me when there are certainly better options. I don't need to take careles risks whether it is fictitious or not, a review indicates character of the writer. I'm not sure you're understanding me, but that was my point that I thought was clear, but if not I hope this clarifies. Even if a client asks for services not advertised, that's not comfortable... & certainly not bbfs with massage providers being his goal.
You have to do what makes YOU feel good about the people you see!
I mentioned in an earlier post that a person can really only protect themselves. Some people will play unsafe.
Things that could be perceived as leading to BBFS.
LTR - many guys and ladies see this as meaning now we can have unprotected sex.
GFE - considered by many as unprotected sex most think BBBJ/DATY/DATO to some think unsafe
PSE - considered by many as unprotected sex most think greek travels some believe bbfs
Privates to Privates - Considered to be the same as having unprotected sex
Back room to a strip club - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
Married - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
Street walker - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
College party - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
Drunken night out at the bar - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
Dated a provider - considered by many to lead to unprotected sex
My questions are...
If we as a whole look at any person that has suggested/talked about/any of these things listed above who is left to participate in the hobby? Please do not say nuns and priests, we all know that is not 100% true either!
Why not throw out 1 more thing that drives many people into a shadow screaming about unsafe people.
Many people believe anal sex/play gay/lesbian actions to be as much of a risk to human sexuality than bbfs! Does this mean prostate massage and play eliminates all these people from safe practices as well? Ladies that offer and men that participate in such are eliminated from hobby experiences?
Now for me personally - I can not see myself believing and tracking all the conversations and reviews I read here being fact first and then creating a spread sheet to keep all of them straight! Holy hell I need a condom so I can go get laid!
I am starting to think this is all getting blown out of proportion over a handful of unsafe sightings!
We had 1 person collecting BBFS provider names....many have differing opinions as to the reason. On occasion a BBFS review pops up - again differing opinion as to the reason/validity
Where do we draw the line at safe practices as WE participating in the hobby PERCEIVE them to be?
When does RUMOR become reality
What if...
A guy or gal gets pissed or possessive at someone and writes that crap or spreads that Rumor?
Again I have never in my life seen a provider try to ruin another provider, or a guy get pissed because he was turned down or a lady getting protective of her best/fav client but what if?
and I tend to fall in line with them.
I generally react to what I see personally.
There have been a spate of these reviews, which leads me to think that new reviewers need more guidance. They don't realize that this is not really the discreet setting it appears to be, how important reputation is on both sides, or how easily damaged.
I think self respect is self determined .
I will also say I can't help but chortle a bit at reviews of which blatantly point out bbfs and if I were a hobbyist I wouldn't necessarily avoid the provider because of that since as of recent there are so many people are haphazardly writing whatever for the sake of free VIP .
Not only that -it covers more area on us gals, it's super sturdy yet can be placed up to an hour before relations, warming to body temp. Add the right amount of lube and I think it's a very nice alternative....
Female condoms......
Not just for doubles anymore!
Now if only they were sold more places & with better prices
I would agree, FCs have made relations much better. I can admit that with getting older sometimes little joe doesn't want to stay stiff enough through the applying of a standard condom. But with a FC, he can slide straight in, stiffen up and have a great time. It does feel as close to bare as it gets.
Now I wonder how many of the guys asking about BBFS have an ED issue and that's why they think they need it. I think more ladies should use these and maybe then more guys will learn the pleasure and stop wanting BBFS
+++++++++++++++++++1
FMC's have been a godsend. They are a tad more spendy than regular condoms & tougher to find but well worth it. I plan ahead & order mine through Amazon to get the best deal.
Wearing them ahead of time really doesn't thrill me I must admit. I use a bit of lube inside them to give a more natural feeling & don't relish having it oozing down my legs prior to a visit but inserting one together & making it part of the play can be quite a lot of fun. "wink, wink"
-- Modified on 8/26/2015 8:40:05 AM
Makes sense to me that it might cut down some on guys looking for BBFS.
Like another responder said, a little statistical analysis of reviews is always warranted. I generally disregard that one lonely bad review when most others are good. Likewise, if reviews are predominantly middling or negative, I don't go to the ATM filled with faith in a single sparkling review.
The same goes for bbfs. If one of the providers I frequent happened to have a review noting bbfs, I wouldn't immediately write them off. I know them. They screened me, I've repeated with them, and there is a general knowledge of each other within the context of our business relationship.
As for a new provider I was thinking about seeing, the bbfs review would carry a bit more weight, since I wouldn't have knowledge of the provider. I would assume most of the providers I would consider seeing would think bbfs is taking an insane risk and is a boundary no hobbyist could persuade them to cross, but I wouldn't be certain. I would really study the other reviews before initial contact, and I'd probably ask a question about the bbfs review in my initial e-mail.
As for me, I'm never going to ask. I think it's an insane risk to take. As pleasant as no-condom sex was when I was married, this is a wholly different situation and context. It's on me to choose providers that have menus that match what I want to do; it's not on the providers to adapt to me. I don't think I'd even want it that way.
How credible do I regard the reviewer?
What do I "know" about the provider?
I'm not likely to get concerned about an isolated report, even if I do think it is believable. I figure most everyone has bareback sex at some point, whether it is with an SO, something that happens in the heat of the moment, a condom coming off or breaking, etc. Now if I think she is offering it regularly then I'll pass. In the end, I can only control what I do.
... on reviews: can you please be sure to mention that a cover was used? Most reviewers are smart enough and considerate enough to do that, but some leave out that important detail but don't mention it was BB, and then we have to wonder what actually happened.
The bbfs reviews that I have seen all summer seem to be true from what I have seen. But remember, if they are allowing bbfs to you they are probably allowing it to everyone.