21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
    It may appear to you that humping for an hour without
    climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more
    likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing
    wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while
    you're playing Marathon Man.

    22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
    You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise.
    But if you really don't know, don't ask.

    23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
    Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole
    mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking
    your tongue on her clitoris.

    24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
    Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis,
    hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All
    women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a
    cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours;
    try talking seductively to her.

    25) CLIMAX.
    Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not
    everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn
    her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

    26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
    Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just
    lie there. And don't grab her head.

    27) TAKING ETTIQUETTE ADIVE FROM PORN
    MOVIES.
    In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men
    ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to
    do.

    28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
    Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while
    she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that
    she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And
    let her have a rest.

    29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT
    WAS AN ACCIDENT.
    This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to
    follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first.
    And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

    30) TAKING PICTURES.
    When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear
    the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have
    custody of them.

    31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
    Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back
    to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables,
    ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and
    permanent dye are a no no.

    32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINT HERS.
    There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching
    contest.

    33) ARANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
    If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless
    she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask
    yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

    34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
    Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men
    because they have a prostate. Women don't.

    35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
    It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides
    of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to
    wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

    36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
    Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a
    megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

    37) TALKING DIRTY.
    It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a
    1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.

    38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
    You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right,
    and she might even do the same for you.

    39) SQUASHING HER.
    Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her
    a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

    40) THANKING HER.
    Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your
    bedroom is not a soup kitchen.