Maybe a little less than half. In all cases, I knew that is where it was going since she had said that if things went well we could make it a full date, go back to my hotel room, or however she chose to word it. UUnlike GaG I did not sweet talk or otherwise sweep them off their feet, nor did I ask most of the time. They just said that if we get along okay we should make it a date, usually without me asking, but the most I ever did was say "Just to be clear, this is just to meet and get to know each other and nothing more, right?" as we were scheduling.
I cannot speak for others, but I have found that something like 3/4 of the women I met were very comfortable talking about sex in a great detail (in person anyway), asking what I like, telling me what they would and would not do. There are definitely those who are uncomfortable talking about sex, acknowledging this is P4P, or even those few who dislike talking about money. I think those types are unlikely to bed you on the first date. zig
And it is all good. SA did some stuff the last couple of days to promote my profile and assure that I had a number of new messages I could not reply to. No biggie to me, just a smart marketing play.
Let's see if I can provide some useful notes. First, every arrangement is different. The first question I need to answer every time is whether the lady is just playing, or is she serious. In general I am not interested if I get any whiff that this is a fun game for her, not a serious pursuit, but if the conversation is interesting enough and she is really hot, I will break that rule. I find the best way to find that out is to ask if she has had a previous arrangement, and if so, what did she like and dislike about it. If she says no, then beware. Though you can still ask her what her ideal arrangement would look like and see what she says. If she does not know, or won't say, you are probably wasting your time.
Avoid women who sound desperate. They will be depressing more often than not. You will get a lot more replies from women over 30, a lot more missed dates and flakiness from women under 25. Over 40 I think you are likely to get free sex, but I have not gone there. Of course, you can get free sex from anyone but you have to invest time and energy in other ways, plus you are blurring the lines. I prefer to pay.
There is no single system. Every arrangement is a unique deal, every discussion is different. I have gradually found certain questions I like to ask and certain answers I give to predictable questions, but I usually do not guide the discussions. Let the lady lead. Since I am looking for a real, regular SB or two that I will see every week or two for as long as both of us can (with providers that has meant up to 4 years with a regular) I prefer to keep things open and honest to start so there are fewer surprises down the road. I also prefer to have a well defined arrangement - nothing fuzzy, no blurred lines. And since I am married, my time is tight at times and I need my SB to understand and be okay with that.
If you are still seeing providers, particularly young, agency girls, talk to them about SA. There are good odds they know about it and might well want to audition to be your SB. I am working on one and I thought it was really going to be an indie regular hooker thing, but she just indicated she wants social time, so we will do that. 23yo, very pretty and hot, seems to enjoy our sex, so I am not going to say no.
My unicorn, the 19yo sweet, sexy, college student has turned out to be better than I ever imagined, so I am doing everything I can to be sure I get to the top of her list. Not that she says she has a list, or seems to have one, but her behavior says she must. No idea how long it will last, but I intend to enjoy it while I can. The 23yo agency girl is also likely to be a keeper. Beyond them I have one other lady, a 30 something, very sexy divorcee who refuses to discuss money, on the schedule. I'll see how the sex is. Of the five other women I have screwed in the last month, I have only told one I will not see her again. I do not plan to see the other 4 for sex, but it would not be terrible if I did. There is one I will try to see on a purely social basis, but despite her saying that was possible, i doubt it happens. She is smart, very pretty, very sexy and in her 30s. There are about 5 other ladies in the pending category - maybe we will meet, or we have met for dinner and I like her but she is not that sexy, or something else. I expect that list to either evolve into something or disappear in the next two weeks. For now, i am very happy with my 19yo, my 23yo, and maybe the divorcee - in fact that is too much already.
Have met (mostly just online) my share of BSC ladies, scammers. flirts and flakes. I have adopted a 2 strike policy. Cancel once and I will reschedule, assuming she will cancel again; cancel twice and I am done. I will meet once just to meet, but if there is not some path to something I would like after that meeting, I am not going further. I will not continue to chat with someone if we cannot find a time to meet within two weeks. I also have three hookers on my list from SA, one who looks pretty cute. I do not think I will find the time to meet them, but I would be happy if I did.
If/when my two or three regulars disappear, I am not sure whether I would go back to some of the others or just start over, but I suspect it is the latter. Now that I know what I can do in a month, and have a better idea how to do it, I would be looking for another unicorn. As others have noted, a lot of this is simply luck and persistence - you reach out to the right PYT at the right moment, she is motivated and your chat does nothing to kill her interest, and you can meet soon enough to keep it rolling.
I think that is it. Color me very happy.
zig
When you have sex with the girls is it ever 1st meet? Just wondering approach on asking them. I haven't had one 1st meet yet. Just wondering if you ask them after dinner?
I know most of you here have forgotten how to "score" with a civvy, but the rules with an POT SB are similar, especially after a dinner date. Unless of course the subject comes up during the course of your actual date and have agreed to a "play for allowance" type of arrangement in which case none of what I am about to tell you applies.
Do you ever ask a civvie girl "Do you want to have sex with me tonight?" of course not. Most "conquests" are with what the salesmen among us will recognize as the "assumptive close", but just like with sales you have to know when you have earned the right to "go for the close" most of the time I wait until we have left the restaurant and as we are leaving and preparing to go our separate ways lean in for a kiss, you should know at that very moment if you have earned the right to ask her if she would like to "continue this at my place"
My personal track record is about 50% of my dinner "first dates" end up with sex, some paid for, some otherwise. My track record is MUCH lower after lunch dates, which is why I always shoot for dinner dates. lol
Maybe a little less than half. In all cases, I knew that is where it was going since she had said that if things went well we could make it a full date, go back to my hotel room, or however she chose to word it. UUnlike GaG I did not sweet talk or otherwise sweep them off their feet, nor did I ask most of the time. They just said that if we get along okay we should make it a date, usually without me asking, but the most I ever did was say "Just to be clear, this is just to meet and get to know each other and nothing more, right?" as we were scheduling.
I cannot speak for others, but I have found that something like 3/4 of the women I met were very comfortable talking about sex in a great detail (in person anyway), asking what I like, telling me what they would and would not do. There are definitely those who are uncomfortable talking about sex, acknowledging this is P4P, or even those few who dislike talking about money. I think those types are unlikely to bed you on the first date.
zig
Zig, props to you! I agree with pretty much everything you have to say and it appears that your progress from newbie SD to wisdom in the Sugar Dating scene has been faster that most. I too have made it a point of asking the girls about their previous arrangements. Their answers tell you so much about how it's going to go. I do keep my Sa membership current all the time, matter of fact I just re-upped for a year. Maybe I'm a slow learner. Maybe I just don't want to miss out on any possibles in my small local market. Otherwise, I have 3 regulars right now and can't really handle any more, so am not expecting to add to that number. But if a girl who is amazing comes along I might just try to upgrade! I'm such a slut.
And you are in good company among all the other sluts here, including me. Your point is exactly why I do not want Premium membership. I need to focus on my good SBs, not go chasing a new pretty face who most likely will be a waste of my time and money. Now that I have an idea of the effort it takes to reel one in, and a little idea of how good it will be, I only want to go there when I have to. Not that I do not enjoy the chase, the discovery, the first fuck, because I do. And when I have to do it again, I will have fun doing it. But I should be doing other things.
zig
Hello my fellow SDs and mostly former or current mongers!
I have finally landed my Unicorn and just like a very seasoned and experienced hunter, I do not intend for any parts of this one to go to any wasteful means! I have a well defined arrangement in place within the parameters which I had discussed in my previous posts, i.e, no nonsense and not vague allowance of 1K, plus perks of going out on dates, kicking it at my place (I'm single / detached, so in some ways I'm also a Unicorn SD) plus some small gifts here and there, and if we should still be together in a few months from now when her BD comes up, then perhaps the handbag which I know she would luv to own. This is going to be a total surprise gift from me as there never was even was a hint from me for showering her with luxury goods. If she's good and true to what we have agreed in principle, I will reward her with a very nice gift. All in all, I expect for this to cost me about 1.5K some month and a bit more some other month if/when we take little weekend excursions. the 1K is hers and the rest is what I'm spending on us both. We "expect" to spend about 3 entire weekends together and also maybe a couple of nights here and there.
This works very well for me because it makes me content / happy which allows me to pursue work related matters (income is still crucial to me at this stage of my life & career) which means spending less time chasing skirts on SA as this past month had been very time consuming. I also have 1 SA P4P as my go to gal (300) and potentially another pretty 22 YO as another stand-in SA P4P (with a young child who has needs for steady SD income who plays with multiple SDs). Therefore I am also not renewing for the next cycle but I will not be deleting my profile. The Unicorn does not rely on SD "income" to live on but I will not go into details for the sake of anonymity. However we both approached the matter like adults and in fact I kept insisting on some form of allowance to establish boundaries and to keep matters NSA. No envelops or no cash under the table from Principium. I will be depositing funds in her bank once every two weeks which will not be based on frequency of visits and bean counting. If I lose 500 just because of something going awry, that's a risk I'm more than willing to have taken for a Unicorn!
My M.O. has always been quality over quantity and in many ways that has prohibited me from putting a lot more notches on my bed post but I am who I am after 50+ years on Earth. God luck to all you and I'll be catching up with you once in a while and/or till this one just fizzles out.
The Unicorn IMHO would be worth 3+K a month and if I had the means, I would've truly offered that to her to enjoy the pleasure of each other's company but alas that would not be in the cards. I don't expect exclusivity for that paltry amount yet I do know that if I can surprise her at times with a bit extra (based on my fluctuating income) that "taboo" subject will take care of itself. In this business it's more about "show me" than the often nauseating "telling me" about it!
As a footnote, I do agree with other more experienced SDs on here that while not absolutely crucial, it is still imperative for a fast track arrangement for the POT SB to have had some arrangement experiences. The look loos and the ones who are merely on there to exchange photos, banter to boost their own egos in a vacuous life are often nothing but a waste of time.
I also concur with the following findings: 18-25 category can lead to a lot of frustrations and wasted time because of their flakiness. 25-30 is the sweet spot on SA from experience. 30-40 still some gems there but much more prone to being jaded (not necessarily SA, but life in general if they have not gotten their sh*t together). 40+ to me it means free sex even if they aspire for an allowance. If and when I venture into that, it's just going to be "dates" on me if I get some p*ssy. No 40+ year old will get an allowance from me as I've paid my past dues to the haggard 40+ hookers who had the audacity to lie about their age by 10-15 Eff'ing years! Oh, the nerve!!!
As I said, and you elaborated, once you find a great SB, assuming you really do want to focus on a very few, regular SBs (I think two is the maximum unless money and energy are endless), you have to start thinking about how you keep her. As I said before, that does not mean keep her away from other SDs, just keep her happy enough in every sense to keep seeing you. This has not been discussed so much here (where are you Z?).
If anyone wants to share experiences about how things went after you had your SB, and how it ended, I would love to hear them.
Once I am ready to see a woman for a full date, I start asking her what she likes to do, what types of things she would enjoy sharing. I stress that there are many ways to play this, and I am pretty flexible, whether she wants to do a lot of public stuff, or almost none. I do not say it, but my attitude towards compensation is pretty much the same as it was with providers - I am paying for sex with her, and while I am perfectly happy to hang out and be as much of a friend as she likes, I am not paying for that. So she gets the same pay whether it is a couple of hours BCD, or 7 hours including 3-5 hours of public time. I keep expecting the young ones to say they do not want to burn more of their precious time, let's just meet to fuck, pay me and I am off. It seems to me that was the attitude of most providers - unless you pay extra you just get the BCD time. But all of the SBs I have met view the social stuff as very desirable.
zig
ZIG, TBH if I could afford 2K per month I would have thrown it at this Unicorn because I think that she's totally worth it, but alas with all the other extra curricular expenses for which I'm budgeting I can not. This puts exclusivity at risk and I'm both aware of this and also have broached the subject. Fortunately for both of us both time (on her part) and fund$ (on my part) are scarce resources! Depending on how things go in between us, I may step over my own d*ck and jack the pure allowance up to 1.5K but that means that I will have to sacrifice my "play fund$" just in case I wish to go for some strange num-num! Let's not forget that a 1K allowance with 4 modest dates per month (dates as in going out and socializing time) will easily run up to 1.5K+ so we shall see!
The other very important component to the longevity is the sexual freshness and excitement and all that great stuff BCD. Don't forget that some women also do this to express their naughty side in an NSA format who are not necessarily in it to provide a roof and to buy food and clothes for their off springs! Some are also in this for the cultural experiences with come into the package with an older and more established gentleman with a higher social status but all that said, I have not come across one SB yet who spoke fondly of such a guy who also happened to be ultra cheap with allowance!
You will see the expiration signs and also the clues coming full steam ahead as the sex becomes monotonous plus the allowance become unreliable and less regular. Well, this is NSA after all, isn't it?!
My premium expires in a couple of days too. It was fun being in the sugar bowl, still have some leads in the pool with whom I can email back and forth. I had some interesting encounters and almost fell in love with a SB that I plan to date. I found out that 1/3 of the SA girls are providers in disguise and 1/3 of them are pro SBs who are real gold-diggers. It's the rest of 1/3 that are kinda so new that they can go either way, some go back finding it overhelming and some find decent guys to hang around to either meet their short term goals or get hooked into it to join the seasoned 2/3 girls on SA.
I would probably be better off dating just one SB and see providers on the side if needed. If I was single and had all the time then Sugar Bowl is a nice play to keep having some fun encounters just for the experience. In that case, I would renew premium every 3 months or so. But the SA in my opinion can be more expensive than seeing the providers.
Yea - I agree with the 1/3-1/3-1/3 analysis, probably close enough given my experience so far - which is admittedly limited. I have been lucky enough to hit on one of what appears to be a nice lady and she seems to be into seeing me somewhat regularly. I can tell she is not that experienced at this, which I guess like a lot of things in life is both good and bad. My premium expires soon and I am going to try dating just one SB for a while and see how it goes. Should work for now given my short term goals and I have a true "10" pro at 3XX who I can go to if my SB starts to bore me.
By the way, what is the difference between premium and regular status on the SA site? Can ladies still see my profile and can I communicate with them?
No. Communication feature gets shut off. I've let my premium expire twice an reupped both times for my sanity.
From my perspective when a sb either stops putting out. Want more money or has too much drama I end it. I havent had aSB tell me she's done. She wants the cash flow without having to fuck this old perv.
By the way, what is the difference between premium and regular status on the SA site? Can ladies still see my profile and can I communicate with them?
The girls get all the features even as regulars, daddies gotta pay to communicate as otherwise who's gonna pay SA bills?
I will take it easy for a few weeks and then jump back on SA premium by paying up.