Sorry posting this under an alias for obvious reasons.
About 2/2.5 years ago I dated someone I met from originally seeing has a client. When I told him things weren't going to work out he went crazy and started reaching out to my friends and family. He has nonstop emailed my friends and family members telling them I'm an escort and hacked my email ,emailed clients,sent direct mail to clients at their jobs ect. Basically threatening to exploit them for seeing an escort. He has also sent me harassing emails calling me names and saying terrible things. He created fake emails and false Facebook accounts to try to "out" me to my friends and family.
When this first happened I hired a lawyer and filled for a restraining order. He was threatening to "out" me in court so I dropped the case in front of the judge and he swore he'd leave me alone.
Fast forward 2 years and i just posted my ad again since being UTR for the past 2 years after this happening. He's now reaching out again emailing my family and making fake email accounts to email me. He's also driving by my building. Sometimes parking outside. I moved 2 years ago because of him and unfortunately am not in the position to move again at the moment.
Im not sure what I can do legally to get him to stop stalking and harassing me and my family without getting myself in trouble.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!
But I am so so sorry that this is happening to you. I hope someone has some ideas here, because this guy is clearly unstable and possibly dangerous. You may need to go to the police. Can he prove that you were a provider? Or could he simply be a deranged ex-boyfriend who concocted this whole story to try and embarrass you? If you have any clients in LE (some girls do) they might be able to help. Sorry I can't be more helpful.
He did say on record in front of a judge that he would leave me alone. That has to hold some weight. But I'm nervous about going back to court and him telling them I'm an escort or getting myself in trouble.
Restraining order is trhe way to go, but requirements vary from one jurisdiction to another. Definitely need someone local who knows the local court scene.
Steve
I'm located in NJ
I had a police as a client he came with me to file for the original restraining order and they gave me a temp.restraining order. He also came with me to the lawyer I had hired.
He could prove it with my ad but other then that not sure how he could prove it?
But either way I'm in fear of him and want him to leave me alone. He's definitely not stable and the fact that he is doing all of this scares me.
Maybe reach back out to the cop. He might be able to help. Be careful.
state that this former BF has broken his word & is following you again. Sometimes a lawyer's demand letter will get him to back off but this guy does seem determined. You should be accompanied by your lawyer or a friendly cop... to the Police if you need to go there just to keeo things fro being twisted back on you. There are limits to what a cop can do... that a lawyer might be better suited to.
You will have to up your screening... perhaps change your name or use a screener.
I hope you are not providing from your home. I'm of the opinion... I would never hobby in my home town... I hope providers would go a bit away from home to work.
I am really sorry that this is happening to you.
If you see him stalking you... sitting in his car... you could call in a suspicious person or stalker. Talk to your contacts before you do this so you get it right.
your line of work shouldn't have anything to do with the crime that is being committed agents you. The number one thing you need to do is be safe! Be very aware of your surroundings and document everything. Every email, text and every phone call even if the number is blocked or unknown. You should be able to make these reports over the phone. Call your attorney and police friend and file for another stay away order that includes all electronic communication.. This happened to My daughter and everything worked out, but the one thing that almost went against her with the judge was she "they" had talked, text and emailed each other as "friends/lovers" in-between the stalking.... It's was bad! And the process took a long time... This kid almost disappeared!!!
So sorry to hear this is happening to you. Sadly this man has given you no choice. You need to go to your local police station and explain this gents behavior. If its a weekend they will call a judge right then and hopefully issue an emergency restraining order. Then he will be served in hand by police department in his town. You then have to appear in court where he has a right and will attend. He will be able to explain himself etc. The facts surrounding how you met him do not matter. What matters is he is stalking you. Here in Massachusetts stalking laws are very serious. The reason for court appearance is to explain his outrageous behavior. Your life as a provider has zero to do with it.....he is stalking you personally, contacting your family etc. I would not bring up nor discuss provider life. He is holding you hostage assuming you will not go to police. How you met is irrelevant...his driving by, threats, setting up fake emails , contacting family any single one of those issues warrant a restraining order. This man is clearly unbalanced and dangerous. Do not underestimate him. Protect yourself legally. Have your family document any and all contact from this man, document and save any messages, emails etc, document drive by dates and times and make your neighbors aware so they may document as well. What you do or don't do as far as the industry does not matter at this point, your safety is all that matters. You went under the radar for 2 yrs and he started up again after two years.....so very dangerous. No choice but to handle through the courts. Be safe. Huge hug, Lisa
The cat is out of the bag he should no longer ba able to use this against you. For those who turn their backs on you thats good, now you know who really loved and had your back. For the rest kick ass and take names. As for the dude, confront him,go to his car and say hey you, I see your still the miserable phuck you were when I left you, only now it's your turn. Take pictures of him and his vehicle only when he can see you doing so. Start collecting info dates and times with pics, then have him served with a cease and desist order you wrote up. Fair exchange is no robbery, unless he is dangerous, the terror and fear your in at this very post is what he is after, the big pay off. Stop giving it to him, when he drives past waive take a pic.
As far as turning you in sorry to say if he is gonna do that,he is gonna do regardless of what you do, you either have to confront him head in and take control of the situation or run and hide forever, phucked up really buy your only true choices as I can see. Good luck be safe, love Joi
This guy is a shmuck but not to be trusted. He wants to get a response from you. He will get to talk to you even if it's negative attention.
Joi has it right, if you are outted, he's lost his power over you. Still you have a legal right to not be harassed or stalked. I say back to the lawyer, post haste! The lawyer might want evidence of his stalking you but a PI can get pictures if they are needed... Unless you can get pictures from safely inside, say with a telephoto lens.
Your cop friend probably does not play in his work district... and while he can advise or help in small ways, he must be careful too. It would be a hoot if he was the officer to take the suspicious person call!
Document dates & times. Emails. Phone calls. Then let the lawyer handle it.
Any Big burely tough looking guys that can walk up to him and tell them they don't appreciate his presence without making any threats and still put fear into him? That's basically how I solved a problem for my cousin, different situation however. She got married to a guy who thought it was okay to hit his wife, until I had two of the meanest looking friends of mine go by.
Because of this years ago how did he find you again? Next time you move make it a clean break: no mail forwarding, no paper trail. New location should have nothing on the real you. Utilities can be set up through anonymous companies or fake names with deposits. Sell your vehicle, get one you can pay for cash and have it registered in a name not yours. DL, IRS, all official records should go to somewhere you will never be.