I agree with the professor. Move on. My rule is simple. If you confirm, give me location and go dark I''ll never see you. Failure to make it right afterwards speaks volumes. This goes both ways fyi. Making it right doesn't equal discount or otc.
[quocloset ername]TheProfessorAbout a week ago, I saw a post/rant about a provider cancelling or no-showing. I actually defended that provider as I thought she unfairly got bashed. I am relatively new here and was wondering how common this is when someone is less than 5 minutes away from arriving for a meeting, sends a text letting them know, and gets a return text saying they are not available at our scheduled time. Excuse was her brother showed up unexpectedly at 9am. I realize life happens but have not heard back from her in well over 24 hours. I also am not here to throw out names or throw providers under the bus as I realize that we are rather fortunate to find providers we have "chemistry" with and enjoy seeing on occasion. This is a well reviewed provider who commands a rather healthy rate(in my opinion).
Would appreciate some thoughts on how to handle this situation. Try someone else and chalk it up to part of the hobby experience or is this common and try again? I realize(and felt) some frustration as most of us have planned these meetings around our work day and look foreward to them.
Thanks for any advice
-- Modified on 3/12/2015 12:14:08 PM
More often with the lower priced higher volume providers you will find on BP. Things happen in life but seldom are they last minute emergencies that need tending to immediately. That type of cancelation usually happens with a higher volume provider when the next guy got there first or she made enough money and just needs a nap.
In short the likelihood of it happening depends largely on who you choose to see, pick a provider with steller reviews and you will most likely see her every time you make an appointment.
I once drove 4 hours to the cities for a 10am date at a hotel I had been told about before hand. As asked I called at 9:55 for the room number and was told that she couldn't see me because she couldn't talk her way into her room early. Check in is usually 3pm, but getting in even an hour early is usually not a big deal. But 5 hours early! Then she couldn't understand why I was upset and didn't just laugh it off as "life happens". This happened years ago and the lady is no longer active in the business, so it would do no good to name her. At the time she was very active on the provider sites in the cities and I think highly thought of. Several weeks later she contacted me and asked me to come to the cities to see her saying she needed the work. I wonder if she ever saw the connection? bigdell
Sucks doesn't it?
I believe in naming names or simply Shutting the fuck up. The right way is to name her and let the chips fall where they may. Of course you can expect some other clueless guy to defend her the same way you defended that other woman, but on balance it's the best thing you can do.
My advice, name her and let her know this type of behavior in unacceptable, not doing so simply lets her know she can do this to the next guy with impunity.
For the record, guys pull this kind of crap on the women at least as often as the other way around. Rudeness and inconsideration is the same regardless of whether the man or the woman does it. I heartily endorse the women sharing information about johns who pull this kind of crap the same as the hookers.
What do I know, I'm the one he called a "nit wit". As for whom he is talking about its easy to speculate based on his previous posting, not absolute but unless he opens up thats all we can do. Odd how it's all different when he's the one involved.
and yes, his attitude has seemed to change now that the shoe is on the other foot.
Make that Hell No! Have you seen me shilling everyone with a vagina on here?
But professor, I have to side with you on this, "them's fightin words" I would be more than happy to hold him down while you beat him if you wish. lol
Calling you a "nit wit" is one thing, but calling you a "tidwit" is hitting below the belt and completely uncalled for. lmao
Life does happen, and this hobby is generally a behind-the-scenes endeavor for all parties involved. If her brother DID show up unexpectedly, then yeah...what is she supposed to say to him? You gotta run, Bob...my one hour incall is gonna show any minute! Hell, she probably had to explain why she was dressed as she was.
Email her and clear the air. She'll probably offer a make-up session at a discount or with some added time. Only do the nuclear option if she blows you off.
This week I had 4 ncns. Hosting adds the extra expense...It is very frustrating! I'm sorry this happened to you. Just keep trying.
That really sucks. This shouldn't happen on either end. It's so rude and disrespectful. As someone mentioned before, in this day and age of so many ways to communicate it's even less understandable.
A big +1!
...especially when done for no good reason. Interesting they reached out AFTER seeing your input.
-- Modified on 3/15/2015 2:54:42 AM
And the cost of lost time and money a NCNS or doorstep cancelation. In 10 years of frequent if not weekly appointments it has only happened to me once, she overslept for an early AM appointment. In her favor she called before I got half way back to work. I did reschedule with her and she offered this at half price for my inconvenience. Life does happen, funny how it keeps happening to the same girls, if she hasn't contacted you in 24 hours move on. With this behavior my guess is the "connection" is not both ways, after all this is all fantasy as it says in the disclaimer.
I agree with the professor. Move on. My rule is simple. If you confirm, give me location and go dark I''ll never see you. Failure to make it right afterwards speaks volumes. This goes both ways fyi. Making it right doesn't equal discount or otc.
[quocloset ername]TheProfessor
Looks like maybe you understand a little bit better now. At least you got a definitive response. Sucks that it was last minute like that though. I hope you'll think twice about a knee-jerk White Knight response the next time you see someone trying to let you know about a provider that is prone to this type of thing.
Usually sticking to the well reviewed ladies and those that are somewhat active here on a regular basis gives a lower chance of this happening, but as you can see in your case and in mine previously this still didn't help. I wish people weren't so afraid to post names when this happens. Even doing a search on previous board postings anymore doesn't give much information (that's why I posted a couple weeks ago so others are informed when they do their research). I understand why they don't though after the response I got. I sure miss my ATF that left town a short while back..
...that if you were to pull a NCNS, your details are probably shared on the provider board? This is a review site, the whole point of it is to offer bouquets or brickbats where appropriate, and definitely to highlight strange or odd behavior.
Also consider that my post did not recount the full story quite. Something else slightly and bizarrely alarming happened when I pulled into the parking lot. However, that would have been speculation on my part and it was possibly a coincidence, so I've opted to keep it to myself.
If you think that I was reporting this because I wanted to give a provider a bad day, you're wrong. It caused me a significant amount of stress and I wanted to help others avoid the same. Plus, if it served to let the provider know that her actions are unprofessional and give her a chance to explain, so much the better, right?
As it turned out, she was inclined to do the right thing and send me an apology and an explanation, but notably only when openly discussed on here. Make of that what you will.
It happens on both sides, contact her, let her know the inconvenience it caused. If she's reputable, she'll make other arrangements or at least give an explanation. You can then decide if you accept that and want to try to reschedule. If not, move on. There's no point in publicly destroying a providers career over a NCNS, the same way there's no point in destroying a hobbyist reputation publicly.
This is supposed to be fun - and granted, it sucks when someone takes their toys and goes home unexpectedly, but there are always other options.
Why some men here have no back bones? As long as it's truthful, provide all relevant information, like the providers name!!!!! So, that we don't have to go through the same sh$t. From my experiences, it seems like providers think their time is much more valuable than our
My personal rules for dealing with a NCNS aftermath is:
1-48 hr rule. That means two days to make things right.
2-Reach out. That means if they don't call you you call them.
3-Just the facts. No, really just the facts don't even mention how many hours you drove or waited.
4-Be civil. That means you keep your cool and let the provider or the white knights make an ass of themselves
Luckily, 1 & 2 usually solves everything in my experience. Most of the drama comes when people skip #2 and go 1 to 3 and ignore 4.
If I ever had to post it would be something like this:
Provider X NCNS me on x-day. I haven't heard anything from her in two days and can't reach her by email or phone.
Hope everything's alright