One thing I always get clear immediately, even before we meet for coffee, is that I am neither seeking or offering an exclusive arrangement. There are, and always will be, other women in my life just as I expect there will be other men in hers. If this does not sit well with her I move on. But I would never take down my profile simply because I had an arrangement in progress and I would feel uncomfortable if she said she took hers down because she was involved with me. Way too much pressure there and too much expectation for me to satisfy her completely, both sexually and financially. I don't want a SB to be that dependent on me.
My SB voluntarily took her profile off from SA. She is from AZ and here in Tampa to attend a special education class for just one semester. She will be gone in January 17. We have been steady and solid in our relationship since mid July. She understands that I need to stay on SA as I live here.
My question is, do you think when there is a very steady and solid SD/SB relationship, you expect or even suggest SB take her profile off of SA, or how about both removing themselves from SA?
IMHO, these are the kind of BS traditional dating scene games which people play, but if you have something really good going, then take the chance and also pull yourself off the market. A crafty SB can still create another profile with a fake photo (for free of course) and monitor the market which you're offline but not all are such cutthroat mercenaries!
If I had something really good going resembling a traditional relationship with some extra help and aid to the paramour, I would also be swayed to go offline till that relationship fizzles out. No biggie, don't sweat it and don't over analyze it.
But nothing says "I am yours" than when a SB takes down her profile after starting to see you.
Conversely, when she is logging in twice a day onto her account, your chances of having anything "exclusive" are rather remote.
Lastly, if she takes her profile down and then a month from now revives it, there is probably "trouble in paradise" and your ass is most likely about to be dumped. lol
Thanks for your thoughts GAG. It is exactly what I was hoping how others feel. I did not put her decision thru any thought process as she will be gone in couple of months. If she revives her profiles when back in AZ, it is her life, I am here.
As long as you're prepared to hear which ever response she gives. (Which may or may not be the truth; we're dealing with the female mind here.) try it and see.
If she says no problem to leave it up, you can then either:
Leave it up, and at least have the fall back that you can say: You said so, which may not matter if she packs her ditty bag and runs; or take it down which ought to get her to swoon, just a bit at least. (I know, a swoon and $4 gets you a latte at Starbucks, but still and all, it beats a pointy stick in the eye.)
or:
Take it down and know that in your heart you did the right thing, even if she never notices. (Note: You must not mention this to her as that wipes out whatever pluses you could have gotten. And don't worry, she will check, of that you can be sure.
You may not know anything more than when you started reading this, but at least you now know that you know that you don't know
zig
As you point out, not telling the truth has many good uses.
This thing we call life is more or less a game of poker. You have to play by the rules, but where in all of Hoyle does it say you have to tell the truth
One thing I always get clear immediately, even before we meet for coffee, is that I am neither seeking or offering an exclusive arrangement. There are, and always will be, other women in my life just as I expect there will be other men in hers. If this does not sit well with her I move on. But I would never take down my profile simply because I had an arrangement in progress and I would feel uncomfortable if she said she took hers down because she was involved with me. Way too much pressure there and too much expectation for me to satisfy her completely, both sexually and financially. I don't want a SB to be that dependent on me.
Plus I figure the money is important, so why not be on SA, keeping an eye out for new possibilities, maybe more money? And if we discussed it and she said she'd like me to pull my profile, I might do it, but it would worry me. And I would advise her to keep hers up unless she no longer needs the money. Because shit happens and when one of us has to move on, I would not want her to have financial issues.
zig