Minnesota

This is a business that is highly personal...
jgoodman222 14 Reviews 817 reads
posted

I (pasty-faced white guy) no longer see Latinas.  I have no issue, other than my experiences have not been satisfying.  I have never had a desire to repeat with a Latina provider, so I no longer see them

I find it strange that many providers in certain jurisdictions/states/areas are now advertising that they won’t see black clients.  What’s that about?  Sexual segregation? LOL.

I realize that, perhaps there are some young, knucklehead thugs out there or clowns that fancy themselves pimps.  Still, those sort of people exist in every race, demographic, and socio-economic strata/demarcation do they not?  This is the 21st century after all.  I mean really... would any provider refuse to see our President for example or a similarly successful 50 something black man merely because some other joker of the same race behaved poorly?

And a lady can see whoever she wants - being picky about race, weight, age, etc. To each her own!  
(my recent friend Harmony was only interested in seeing guys under 50 - sorry guys! - but I hear from many of you, "I only see women over 30!" ;) ) I don't have any requirements besides references!  

Other possibilities for this rule is that the women have experienced:  

A) Bad encounters with African American men in the past  
(I have heard countless stories of rapes and robberies... oh my :( )
B) Fear of harassment by pimps or thugs
C) Lack of screening raises the risk of encounter and to avoid that,
they avoid the race all together.  
D) A manager banning the race for fear of Mr. Steal Yo Girl
E) F E A R  

 
For me, D was the answer when I first started in this industry. My "manager" didn't want competition or for me to get any ideas that there are other options out there. He wrote the ads, and he put that rule on there. When we answered the phones he would always ask "do they sound black?" or ask us to ask ethnicity and I said how?? Just say, what ethnicity are you? Out of the blue? And he said to just mention their nice accent ;)

Once I left that situation I opened my doors to all races because personally (with successful screening) I can have an enjoyable encounter with someone regardless of their race :) Hope this helps give you some insight! And always do your research on the woman -- reviews may tell if she may appear to have a "manager".  

And I will say that since changing that rule I have met some wonderful, professional, caring, genuine, gentle, and thoughtful black men in the Twin Cities & beyond. I believe screening is most important, though! I don't see guys without references - that makes me feel the most comfortable.  


-- Modified on 1/12/2015 7:45:08 AM

....that claim no matter how rich, famous, powerful he was they wouldn't see him. I kind of throw side-eye to that tho.

Oh I get it- she doesn't want to come across as worn out by the well endowed black men....yes I was naive I  
Know there are a whole lot of stereotypes out there & a lot of men may think:

" if she's  never been with a black man ...she'll never have that kind of memory comparison"
....probably silly but who knows- what I've been told by others since then is:

it's usually an indicator that she is "managed" & is really used as code for other such guys (of any race) to stay away or not even try to take what's theirs.....

Who knows really but I -too really found it to sound offensive~ as I'm a lover of a personality, not skin color, ability, or even gender.
It is how one treats another that I fall for and care about...we have just so much time & (possible) connections to make, I don't let extra weight, height, hair or no hair get in my way of making a good connection.

             But everyone is different and some women may always have this stipulation..... & I agree to live and let live  
    Sharing your time (and or body) w/ another person is deeply personal & many of us have thought long and hard about it before making the decision to do so...it may be that some of these gals aren't even sure why it's posted in their ad....

         If I was a black man I would like to think of the stereotype that I first thought of, I think more black men should be happy knowing they're are perceived as larger than most. ;) but that's just me being silly.......  
       Have a great day people :)

I (pasty-faced white guy) no longer see Latinas.  I have no issue, other than my experiences have not been satisfying.  I have never had a desire to repeat with a Latina provider, so I no longer see them

I have seen this subject come up on the General board a few times, and the ladies who "discriminate" do so on the unfortunate high incidences of AA men being too aggressive, showing up with less than the full donation, rudeness, trying to pimp them out, etc.  Even AA providers tend to prefer white clients.

I have seen a number of ladies that have had different statements in their DNS list.  Most of the times I'll ask...these are some of the answers I have gotten.

Must be 35 or older - I don't relate well to guys younger than me - I don't like being called or perceived as a cougar - I once had a young man with a mommy fetish and it made me feel really uncomfortable.

Asian gal who didn't like to see Asian men - I have had on occasion been treated like property by them and I didn't like it.  I am in this for variety, I have already had my share of Asian men and I want something different.

Asian gal that ONLY saw Asian men - when I asked if she would make an exception - NO I stay within my race sorry.

Lady that was 40ish only saw men 35-50 - I feel better and get along better with men around my own age.

Ladies that do not see black men - My SO is black so I don't want to see other black men - I have had too many black men that talked disrespectful in my opinion(example referring to ladies as bitches and hos). - Have had too many leave unsatisfied because I didn't have enough shape or other characteristics of African American ladies.  I have not met enough of them in person and they scare me.

So from what I have heard from ladies, the reasons they have preferences is really different for every lady.  No 1 perfect answer.

I asked once for a lady to go against her preferences...I personally won't do it again.  I don't want to see anyone that does not want to see me...too many fish in the sea.  I actually prefer a lady put her preferences in her website.  I do NOT want to pay for a bad experience because I am not her type

I would never advocate providers doing the most intimate of things with anyone they did not feel comfortable with, whatever the reason.

That being said, I think OP's point is valid.  My guess is most providers don't see a steady stream of Brad Pitts or Colin Farrells walking through the door.  So yeah the sexual segregation does make much sense to me.

The only other hobbyist I know is a black guy i met through work a few years back.  He's in his 30's, 6'2", athletic (looks like Taye Diggs), makes mid six figures.  Anytime we've been out at dinner, or a bar, I'm always so jealous because women literally throw themselves at this guy.  He could get model quality girls if he wanted (or at least super hot waitresses/baristas), but has a wife/kids who he loves and figures hobbying is a lot less complicated than an affair or one night stand.  

So would a provider rather sleep with some sweaty, bald fat guy with a mullet vs. a good looking AA guy like my friend simply because one has more melanin than the other?   As I said, to each his/her own...lol.

Taye Diggs look-alikes don't have to pay for it. They aren't the AA's that contact us. It's the thugs that think we need to be managed that we do our best to avoid.

I have met a number of Sexy, young, hot, very sweet, mild-mannered and respectful AA men in this hobby.

There are bad guys in every race, every age group, every economic status.  In fact, I have met a few white guys who have tried to control me.  I have never been treated like that by an AA or Asian or Hispanic.  Hmmmm, interesting.

Have a wonderful day,
Belind

It's a good thing that I don't give a shit what you think.  

Posted By: belindabell
I have met a number of Sexy, young, hot, very sweet, mild-mannered and respectful AA men in this hobby.  
   
 There are bad guys in every race, every age group, every economic status.  In fact, I have met a few white guys who have tried to control me.  I have never been treated like that by an AA or Asian or Hispanic.  Hmmmm, interesting.  
   
 Have a wonderful day,  
 Belinda  
 

Posted By: DanaPlays
Taye Diggs look-alikes don't have to pay for it. They aren't the AA's that contact us. It's the thugs that think we need to be managed that we do our best to avoid.
-- Modified on 1/14/2015 6:53:19 PM

Whether it's racism, bad experiences, simple personal preference, or any other possibility, she has every right to choose whom she is intimate with.  If for whatever reason, she doesn't want to see a certain 'type' of person (which could be race or some other arbitrary attribute) then IMHO it makes more sense for her to be up front about it so neither party wastes their time on trying to set something up.

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