Thankfully I haven't encountered that issue very often, but sadly it does happen sometimes. I think some providers are just afraid of losing business. They think if I guy has money to spend, then he should be spending it on them.  What's really annoying is when those same providers then turn around and ask you for a reference. :/

Obviously no idea if this could be it, but in another thread I read recently, someone pointed out the possibility that a provider who couldn't give a good reference might just refuse to give any reference, to avoid any potential drama with the client or something from a bad reference.  i.e. Adam wants to see Becca, uses Clarice as a reference, Clarice tells Becca that Adam has halitosis, Becca tells Adam that she won't see him, either says why or says something that he concludes is the halitosis thing, creates drama for Clarice when Adam goes postal and texts 100s of times claiming continuous IV injections of Listerine, or whatever.

Of course, Adam should avoid this issue in advance by asking Clarice if she is willing to be a reference before passing along her name, and accept it without argument if she just "doesn't feel comfortable" with it, but perhaps Adam doesn't live on the planet where people and clues live happily together.

Kind of misses the point of references IMO, but might be the issue.  Just a thought

Almost all providers demand references which is reasonable and generally acceptable, Yet I have encountered a couple who either refuse or are reluctant to return the courtesy. In that case I never see that provider, or in one case, agency again. In those cases where the reference was not given it was not a result of something I did, turns out to be the provider/agency policy.

To that end, he should be assured she will give him a reference for a specific provider, which provider will then contact her about him.

This is just the same as in the business world.

If I was a provider contacted out of the blue about a guy, I'd be offended that no one checked with me first

When it does, I simply ask for another reference if he can provide one. More times than not, he can. It's part of the biz unfortunately, and while I will agree with you that women should all be on the same page in this regard for safety reasons alone, it's not always that simple.  

Good luck to you Bonnie, just keep smiling  

Taylor

You'd think we should all have each other's 6. It's just that simple!