I admit it. Recently I did a nonsense to a provider. Shame on me. I felt a little guilty about it because I'm generally not that type of guy (I know someone's gonna take that out of context. Have fun).
Before booking a date in like to check out website, pictures, reviews. It's one of the more exciting parts of getting worked up to meeting a new lady. I'm married so I always have to schedule about a week in advance to make time in my schedule, but it's also very exciting because I'm anticipating my date like a kid on Christmas morning. I've pretty much made the decision to see her prior to the first email. When I contacted the provider I was gentlemanly, kind, courteous, and considerate. I even offer to provide my verification info without being asked to provide that extra assurance and comfort for her. I like to think if I am nice, courteous, and a gentleman it will translate into a better experience for both of us. SHE WAS BLAH to say the least. Her conversation was completely unenthusiastic. Almost like it was a bother to her to reply to my messages. Ignored my offer to provide verification info and went straight to when? How long? There was no sweet talk. I never ask or discuss specific details about a date, but I didn't even get so much as a "look forward to meeting you". The plan was to email her the night before, but I blew it off and saw someone else. Am I alone or do other people feel the same way. If she can't make a decent impression in my initial contact, then the date will not be exciting either.First off, whats up with all the preconceived notions and expectations? Please. Stop. Everytime you walk into something with high expectations, you usually set yourself up for failure . . . whether its in the hobby, in life, or with that BigMac you ordered at MickeyD's. We all know that the bun on that thing ain't as round and perfect!
That aside, there is nothing wrong with having high hopes that the initial conversation sets off good vibes and enforces your decision to see her. After all, first impressions are everything! However, the impressions given via email and phone conversation can be like night and day with some people.
Nonetheless, you should've talked to her over the phone to get a better feel. Personally, I love to briefly talk to my potential lovers over the phone for several reasons - I can tell if they are drunk/high, happy, sad, angry, enthusiastic, dry, and so on so forth. I can pick up things about my lover that an email simply can't convey. #GoodScreening
However, my email/text conversation can be very dry and business like when I'm seeing a new lover as I try to keep things as professional. When I first started out, I can't tell you how many times I babied emails and wrote/spoke sweet nothings just to have a lover cancel on me in the end. #FantasyBooker
Thanks for your POV Adrienne. I actually agree with you. There's some stuff I think you're missing though. Two points to be exact.
First point is I risk coming off the wrong way by seeking that good impression via phone. I value a sense of professionalism. She's getting a sense of me just like I am here. Some women have anot issue of men being and sounding too "needy". It's a comfort thing on both sides. Certainly I should feel comfortable expressing my needs to her without her feeling I'm too over the top. Not every provider is a match with every client. I'm certain you're aware of that as am I.
Second point is just a rhetorical response I suppose. I've seen ladiesome many times that kinda didn't rub me the right way in my initial contact, then went on to not rub me the right way in person. I've never seen a lady that made a good impression in my initial contact though that didn't do the same in person.
Seeing a new lover is scarce for me to the point that I'd very much like to enjoy that time as much as I can. Sometimes I think providers forget that. I know there are some men who put you ladies through a lot of BS.
That being said though, I think you have that fairest, most honest, and considerate cancellation policy I've ever heard of. I think more ladies should model themselves like you Adrienne. It shows an amount of integrity and pride that is rare these days.
That's my point though. Obviously with that type of honesty and integrity I could tell you are as serious about yourself as a business woman as you arequested about you and I having a pleasurable experience......... She wasn't.
I am with you on this! When I do my screening, I am very straight to the point. Although I do have some friendly talk in there and I will let a guy know that I am looking forward to meeting them. Now, BCD it's a totally different story! We will for sure have plenty of fun!
It's kind of hard reading people(or getting a feel for people)through text or email.She could have been eagerly smiling on the other side of the computer.The only way to get a feel for a person is by talking to them on the phone.I don't think you should have blown her off like that.AGAIN just my 2 cents
Your post makes clear that it's very important to you. You are paying for a service, and to you the communication up front is an important part of the service. If her communication doesn't do it for you, you could just move on, but you should have the courtesy to let the escort know right away that you've changed your plans just as you would want to know ASAP if her plans changed for whatever reason.
How important is it to me? I LOVE reasonably prompt, clear responses. A few have gone beyond this to actually "chat" via email to get to know each other a little, which can be nice, but that's really not to be expected at all and probably in most cases is rightfully seen as an imposition. I now usually try to keep emails fairly brief and business-like without coming off totally like a robot.
Yeah you're right I should have let her know. Once upon a time I let a regular know I didn't like something that she said and it turned out badly. I guess my real concern is if she says something I don't like and I let her know does she have the right to lose her cool? And ufo so, am I wrong for cancelling our date?
How important is it to me? I LOVE reasonably prompt, clear responses. A few have gone beyond this to actually "chat" via email to get to know each other a little, which can be nice, but that's really not to be expected at all and probably in most cases is rightfully seen as an imposition. I now usually try to keep emails fairly brief and business-like without coming off totally like a robot.
At that point, you are trying to shut things down as quickly and graciously as possible. I would just say something generic like "I'm very sorry, but my plans have changed and I have to cancel" and hope she gets the message. If she offers to reschedule, decline and hope that that ends things, which it should if she's reasonably attuned to things.
Here's my issue: I am cautious to the point of paranoia. For that reason, I keep it to just the facts and maybe a touch of pleasantries.
One thing a lot of clients don't realize is that many providers get a lot of emails & texts from people who do NOT meet our screening requirements. So I like to just get that out of the way first. That means my initial reply will always be very businesslike and to-the-point.
There are a lot of reasons why I might keep my email convo short and sweet, but the main one is so as not to slip up and say anything off-putting or suspicious. Plus, I'm super-nervous with new people.
Yes, I've been told my demeanor is dry and about as exciting as setting an appointment with your accountant. I'm not about to change that, and if that means I lose some folks, I'm okay with that.
We each have to find our own comfort levels and stick with those who are in the same zone. ;-
Makes perfect sense Debbie. I suppose I don't want to risk not having a good date when my instincts are telling me there's a poor impression being made on her part. I mean I offered my verification info without being asked. To me I'm going above and beyond by doing this.
What I'm trying to find out is if others find there is a correlation in the actual service when the contact prior to the visit was poor?
One thing a lot of clients don't realize is that many providers get a lot of emails & texts from people who do NOT meet our screening requirements. So I like to just get that out of the way first. That means my initial reply will always be very businesslike and to-the-point.
There are a lot of reasons why I might keep my email convo short and sweet, but the main one is so as not to slip up and say anything off-putting or suspicious. Plus, I'm super-nervous with new people.
Yes, I've been told my demeanor is dry and about as exciting as setting an appointment with your accountant. I'm not about to change that, and if that means I lose some folks, I'm okay with that.
We each have to find our own comfort levels and stick with those who are in the same zone.
If you're not getting the vibe you want from someone, then pass. It really is that simple.
That being said, it really sounds to me like you need to search out providers who offer more than just an in-the-room experience. Someone who states she is about building relationships with her client-friends.
I've read many ads & sites of ladies who come right out and say that they don't want to see someone only once, that they are looking to establish a rapport with each and every gentleman. Find those types of ladies and stick with them....
In other words, someone more like Courtney Ova and less like me.
OK. Hmmmm..... I'm trying to say this nicely but the fact of the matter is that I completely disagree. I absolutely want your verification info right off the bat and do not consider this to be going "above and beyond".
It shows me you are likely serious about scheduling, but that's it. Heck, even when a client immediately gives me not only his RS2K info but also tells me exactly when he wants to see me..... no, that's not "above and beyond" either.
Because this isn't unusual for me. My guys frequently provide everything I need in the first email.
It's just not the big deal you seem to think it is. :shrug:
What I'm trying to find out is if others find there is a correlation in the actual service when the contact prior to the visit was poor?
We all have the right to pass on anyone if we're not feeling it.
My point is that this, to me, is not the same as a lack of service or even poor customer service skills.
It's simply an indication of who isn't a good fit for you, specifically.
-- Modified on 7/11/2016 9:20:56 AM
And always listen to your instincts in the non P4P world also.
In the P4P world we all, on both sides of the equation, need to always always always listen to our instincts and trust in them!
If you're not getting the vibe you want from someone, then pass. It really is that simple.
That being said, it really sounds to me like you need to search out providers who offer more than just an in-the-room experience. Someone who states she is about building relationships with her client-friends.
I've ready many ladies' ads & sites who come right out and say that they don't want to see someone only once, that they are looking to establish a rapport with each and every gentleman. Find those types of ladies and stick with them....
In other words, someone more like Courtney Ova and less like me.
OK. Hmmmm..... I'm trying to say this nicely but the fact of the matter is that I completely disagree. I absolutely want your verification info right off the bat and do not consider this to be going "above and beyond".
It shows me you are likely serious about scheduling, but that's it. Heck, even when a client immediately gives me not only his RS2K info but also tells me exactly when he wants to see me..... no, that's not "above and beyond" either.
Because this isn't unusual for me. My guys frequently provide everything I need in the first email.
It's just not the big deal you seem to think it is. :shrug:
What I'm trying to find out is if others find there is a correlation in the actual service when the contact prior to the visit was poor?
From my own point of view, I do notice that when we're not clicking in pre-date correspondence, that often means we won't click in person. I turn people away for this reason all the time.
We all have the right to pass on anyone if we're not feeling it.
My point is that this, to me, is not the same as a lack of service or even poor customer service skills.
It's simply an indication of who isn't a good fit for you, specifically.
-- Modified on 7/11/2016 7:58:27 AM
Most of us are educated women, so don't think we can't form basic communication skills.... Manners I'm sure lack to idiot ill mannerism on the clients part but most will respond with more then one word responses!!!!
Happy Sunday Chicago!!! Miss Chicago already!!!
The city that I love the most!!!
Xo
I know that most providers get way too many emails to send long replies. I often get on average 100 or more emails every single day. On days that i'm touring I can get 200 or 300 or more. I try to sound as nice and sweet as possible in my emails. But if we have never met before and you send me an email, if you didn't include your screening info in the first email, my reply is usually always "Thanks for emailing me! Could you please send along your verification info so we can get screening out of the way? XoXo, Brooke"
Once you have been verified I will put more time into my replies, and once we have met I will take even more time when replying
I don't get that many emails but I do try to respond using sentences then one word replies!!! Lo
...you should be able to ascertain what a date with her would be like before even sending your initial communique. Lots of us are very active on social media, and her reviews should tell you a lot about what an experience is like with her.
What are you defining as "customer service"? Being able to have polite, professional communication with a provider, easily setting up a date, and having your date confirmed and set in a timely manner should be what's expected. Expecting her to "charm" you into having a date with her shouldn't be expected; you became enamored enough to contact her in the first place, right? If you sent her messages via text, there are a million and 2 reasons why she may have come off as "unenthusiastic". Not to mention, it's always nice when someone contacts me with a session date, time, and length so I can tell them if I'm available or not, but oftentimes getting that information directly can be like pulling teeth.
Getting great customer service also means that you're giving the provider everything she needs in order to give great customer service.
I'm one of those folks that's very clear, concise, and frank when setting up dates with new clients; it doesn't come from personal coldness or lack of enthusiasm, though. It comes from a few life-lessons I've learned over the years. One in particular is of note:
If I give an inch, someone will take a mile. When it comes to email communications, this is the absolute truth. Setting up a date is just that- setting up a date. Reviews, websites, and internet presence should be all the convincing you need to contact a lady in order to set up a date. If there are specifics to work out, that's fine (i understand working out specifics, especially since I offer more than just GFE), but expecting more than prompt and professional responsiveness will probably leave you high and dry. In fact, if someone wants more than that, or intricate discussions of fantasies, I remind them that my website is very detailed, and if that's not enough, they can call me or request custom erotic literature via my Niteflirt page.
Blowing someone off after you've already booked a date and discussed confirmation though? That's completely uncalled for. You're under no obligation to give her an explanation as to why you were cancelling, but to just blow her off? Nope.
It's totally fine to have expectations, as long as those expectations are realistic.
-- Modified on 7/10/2016 1:18:43 PM
Yeah. I am all about reviews and websites I agree with you there. I'd be ignorant to disregard that there are all types of ladies and gentlemen. I've visited what most would regard as a premium provider. One who is pretty well posted on TER, advertised on mainstream websites, and has lots of great reviews. I made it to her incall in the nw burbs and......... let's just say I left underwhelmed. I made a post on TER similar to this one asking the opinion of my peers and providers and basically ended with one conclusion....... YMMV. This has happened on more than one occasion for me with no fault of my own. So a providers comfort level prior to meeting her is pretty important to me because obviously I'd like to enjoy our time instead of feeling like I could have seen someone else. Reviews are pretty subjective.
There's something to be said about a person that knows how to present themselves and "sell" themselves. While I know some may be better than others with this regard, knowing the basics would benefit the interaction before, during, and after the visit
Seriously. No matter what it is you want from a lady, there are those who will give you exactly what you want & need.
There's something to be said about a person that knows how to present themselves and "sell" themselves. While I know some may be better than others with this regard, knowing the basics would benefit the interaction before, during, and after the visit.
In your initial email, say that you are on the fence and would like a little coaxing. Some ladies will bite, others will click delete.
This way, you are being very clear about what you want from her, and will hopefully not need to cancel on someone when she doesn't fulfill your pre-date desires.
I agree that providers don't like cancellations. Like I said in my post, shame on me for doing it. I'd totally see you Debbie. I suppose I think of it in a chivalrous way. I'm old enough to remember when cars did not all come with automatic locks. Was taught that you unlock and open the door for your date because it's the gentleman thing to do. But if she can't unlock your door as you walk around, then she's about herself.
Going back to Adrienne's reply earlier where I was able to learn from her profile that her cancellation policy requires a fee that goes towards a future visit. Additionally if she were to cancel, then out of respect for my time she offers an additional hour on her. She's offering respect, consideration,and professionalism all at the same time. I'd take it that this would translate into our date and there's no way we are not having an awesome time together. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.
I think sometimes the clientele we cater to most often can change our approach toward the general inquiries. Some women may cater to the one sentence email guys, while others may cater to the guys who say a little more.
I do like a nice introduction, why they decided to book, etc etc. I think it's sweet, and sets a nice tone for me. While the long braggy copy and paste dating profiles with my name pasted in seem kind of plastic/fake to me with the guys, I like to know a tidbit about them, about their interest in me, what caught their attention, and what they want - so I don't have to guess.
To the OP - she initially asked you for a date/time - did you not give that to her in the first email? If you could only see the amount of emails we get from people pretending to book a date for attention, it could have looked like a non serious inquiry. And honestly, since you didn't follow through, it was a non-serious inquiry.
So I am totally with you here Debbie, sometimes you just have to say "psst. Hey - I may be looking for something different with communication." in a tactful way. I know if someone expresses a need, it helps me refocus.
Communication is very touchy, especially when you're dealing with people of all sorts of backgrounds and wants/needs.
ounds like you really didn't have your mind made up with the first provider. You were waiting for a warm and fuzzy comeback from her and it didn't happen...so off with her head. Ouch!
Most gentlemen don't need to pushed, conned, sweet talked, buttered up, sure baby, to book with ladies.
It's over 200 plus ladies in the Chicago land area. I am positive that more than a few will be happy to accommodate you
I have cut down on timewasters and needy clients by about 95% by asking in the very first response to clients when they would like to visit me. If they don't respond with an exact date and time, I know they aren't serious. That's my cue to move on, and that's also where communication ends. Clients who want excessive communication are not good clients, because they aren't making me money. Sure, they may pay my hourly rate in person but they are also taking up valuable time with their excessive communication for which I'm not being paid.
I agree with the ladies, especially Erin.
It really is unfortunate that we can't get to know someone prior but, this is a business and catering to everyone who wants to chit chat prior, doesn't bring in anymore money than just sticking to the facts. It just ends up costing more time and causing great amounts of frustration. I would never be able to meet anyone because I would be stuck at my computer fielding emails from looky lou's.
Just today I got an email from someone who I have been conversing with back and forth for the last two months about an upcoming date. I get this email today after I contacted him confirming the date and time we spoke of.
He said:
"Sorry my ATF came into town, Ill talk to you another time"
Prior to this I got extensively long emails with lots of planning going into it. A complete waste of my time but I'm sure he had some fun in the process.
9 times out of 10 someone who tries to get free attention prior to meeting ( on any level ) is a free loader. So from experience, we withhold attention until we know someone is going to not dick us around. I especially do this on repeat clients. Meaning the second time around I will be playful and sweet when booking/contact.
I don't feel you went "above and beyond" because most of us expect verification to be given immediately. I don't speak to anyone unless I know they have the information that I desire to feel safe. Kind of like going to the hospital and they want your insurance right away. Simply sending verification doesn't mean that you're going to show up.
Another example is this - a guy sends his references and his initiation of conversation to not only me but MANY girls. Its happened to my girlfriend sitting right next to me many times. Trying to get all these ladies to chit chat with him. To us, it seems he plans on seeing whoever will "charm" him the most and plans on wasting the other ladies time. I don't even mess around with these guys.
You might be the 10% that is the exception to the rule but, we have to react on experience. So if her website seems appealing, her posts, her reviews ( you could always write the other TER reviewers and ask about her) seem interesting then Id say the probability that you will have an enjoyable time is high.
I also answer a lot of my emails on the fly thru my phone as I am sure a lot of ladies do. So it's short and sweet =)
Finding a good regular provider should give you the things you desire before, during and after the meeting.
XOXO
R
Experiences tend to vary. I think websites and reviews to give a general idea of what a provider is like, but those reviews vary from date to date plus or minus a few factors.
I've met a few providers over the years before where that date never seemed to get off the ground even though the lady had great reviews and online presence. They both still post today. In both cases I never left a review because perhaps another gentleman may not have the same outlook as I do. A review like the one I'd leave could potentially hurt her business and that is not the real purpose of a review.
I met at the incall, exchanged greetings, offered the donation, then got comfortable. In each case each time I wanted to change things up and make the date move in a different direction I was denied even though I had read in REVIEWS that the provider was very different from the date she was offering me. It's awkward when this happens.
I don't ask providers to discuss specific details, but I do assure I can get the attention and attraction level I'm looking for. I'm the one offering a nonrefundable donation. I can't make her reciprocate what I want when I can see clearly she's not into me. Besides it kinda spoils the mood to discuss why certain things are not happening so for this reason I like to get a feel for her attraction and attention level.
I've made lots of money and returning business off of great email correspondence. I've also lost it too, during periods I couldn't maintain the emails to retain them for periods of time. But they don't book, then blow me off. They just stop booking. That initial wooing is an excellent tool to make a lasting impression on both sides. I do know that, and I've had some really awesome long term guys for that. But they were with the approach as you did - people who send a really nice email. I've been working on a nice "thank you for the kind email introducing at least who you are, yes, please do my screening - I'd love to see you." If they have a TER ID or something I can pull up with their email, I'll usually send a message back. Some random dude - probably not unless he gave me at least something.
While I'm not making excuses for anyone else, I do know I am pretty cut and dry until I can fully screen someone. Before screening, I'm pretty "all business". You know why? Who knows who's on the other side fishing for information. Also, if I can't find any kind of IP address to a random email, and it's just a private IP, I'm very uncomfortable emailing back, and just wait for my auto reply to communicate.
However, now that I'm barely alone aside for during my dates, I"m realizing holy shit. It's really hard to write a thoughtful email when you are constantly around people - all - the - time, two who are dealing with some very disabling issues right now.
Do I tell people that while they're emailing? No. They're thinking about pussy, last thing I need to say is "Hold on, I need to take my ---insert person here--- to go get his/her white blood cell shots. I'll email from the car while I'm waiting for them to come back out." lol
You just don't know what's up in their lives, so if they all of a sudden are quiet or shorter, it could be because she has a four year old tugging on the dog's tail, and every time the girl picks up the phone to answer an email, the kid goes back for the dog.
I wouldn't take it too personally. If you don't want the appointment because she's short via email, you may want to find someone who offers more of a long term companion approach if you're more of the needy/sensitive type. They're out there, but the tit for tat may exhaust them too. 
-- Modified on 7/10/2016 10:31:10 PM
Blowing her off without notice was not the right way to go about it. Without taking offense to or overreacting to the term "needy", I'd probably say a few of you ladies seem to be missing my point just a little.
I give another example of a real experience. I emailed a provider first time, skipped pleasantries, and agreed to meet later that evening for a specific time. She closed the email that she would send me a message within a couple hours of our date to provide location information. The time passeseveral. I didn't wanna seem "needy" so I just waited. No message then as the time got closer to our appointment time I broke down and sent her a message saying that I hadn't heard from her and really wanted to see her. Her reply was WELL I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE COMING ANYWAY. I guess somehow she was expecting I wasn't serious even though she had previously said she would message me within a couple hours of the time. I told her she was clearly misunderstanding and got the info and decided to go.
The date ended up half assed. Basically she let me do all the work. I'm not suggesting that she may not be busy with something else when my message comes in. I'm not saying drop what you're doing and make sure to send me a thoughtful reply. I'm saying there may be some type of relationship to a girl's customer service skills and the impression she has made during her contact may sneak it's way into the date because of the lack of connection she's established with her suitor. It can be the other way around too. He wasn't too friendly during in setting up the date but I decided to see him anyway, then when we met and I wished I hadn't taken that date.
You have taken offense to the term "needy", because you mentioned it. You are very sensitive, and that requires care, but it also requires communication on your part.
In my opinion, needy isn't a bad word. Has negative connotations, but tit-for-tat is a bad word in my book.
A lot of people don't like to be tested, and they know when they are being tested. Many people don't react well to being tested.
I think there may be a communication issue you're not realizing that's attracting these ladies that aren't up to your standards. Are you getting "no's" from a lot of people?
Again, int he beginning we see all of the non-serious inquiries, or "flakes". There could be something flagging you as a flake. And that was confirmed. Also - hate to say it - but if you're doing this often, women may just not be enthused, because you may be flagged for No call, no show. To me? I wouldn't even answer your email if you were flagged for no call no show.
I suggest offering a deposit in case you've been flagged as a regular NCNS offender. If a lady thinks you're fake money, she's not going to be enthused.
I know a lot of people don't like that I'm straight forward, and I know you and I wouldn't click, because I just say it - sorry - I just learn it's the best way to do things. It usually takes about two years for me to stop being pissed about someone telling me the truth in a straight forward matter, and to learn from it/realize they were just trying to help.
I give another example of a real experience. I emailed a provider first time, skipped pleasantries, and agreed to meet later that evening for a specific time. She closed the email that she would send me a message within a couple hours of our date to provide location information. The time passeseveral. I didn't wanna seem "needy" so I just waited. No message then as the time got closer to our appointment time I broke down and sent her a message saying that I hadn't heard from her and really wanted to see her. Her reply was WELL I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE COMING ANYWAY. I guess somehow she was expecting I wasn't serious even though she had previously said she would message me within a couple hours of the time. I told her she was clearly misunderstanding and got the info and decided to go.
The date ended up half assed. Basically she let me do all the work. I'm not suggesting that she may not be busy with something else when my message comes in. I'm not saying drop what you're doing and make sure to send me a thoughtful reply. I'm saying there may be some type of relationship to a girl's customer service skills and the impression she has made during her contact may sneak it's way into the date because of the lack of connection she's established with her suitor. It can be the other way around too. He wasn't too friendly during in setting up the date but I decided to see him anyway, then when we met and I wished I hadn't taken that date.
I'm at a bit of a loss Courtney. I will admit that I've actually seen athe least 2 women that have responded to this post. That being said I really don't take offense. I've developed thick skin from the things I've been through in my life. I can generally tell though when someone is intentionally making an effort to hurt my feelings and I can tell that you weren't doing that at all. I guess to you if I were to tell you I'm rs2k verified and that I have the ability to see a variety of ladies that would mean I've taken offense to you suggesting I may get a lot of no's and have a reputation for ncns. Just because I acknowledge specifics does not mean I've taken offense. Please don't feel that I'm offended, or angry, or upset at all. I wanted to get a provider's perspective so I can't be offended when they give it to me. I can't take it personally, I give examples of my experiences to help support my statements not to say "how dare you disagree". That's just not what's happening here. To be completely honest though I would like to think I had a shot at booking with you and it does kinda disappoint me that this perspective makes you feel some type of biased towards me. I actually like women that are straight forward. Just because you are straight forward though does not mean someone can't sway your POV though.
-- Modified on 7/11/2016 12:12:51 AM
The difficulty about communication is that tit for tat factor. The factor that you are comfortable with a hearty discussion without being offended, upset, discouraged, or frustrated. I think you're a bit better at tit for tat than you are letting on Courtney. My idea I'm gonna throw out it that people become frustrated after awhile. They take things out of context or throw a fit.
I can tell you are the educated type though. You got me blushing over here.
P.S. you're a very beautiful woman Courtney. You seem genuine and sweet. I wish I could see a woman like you. Muah
I am with people who are good to me, but in the beginning I do express my needs. And if a guy refuses meet my needs, I'm like you. I get turned off quickly. But I also express them up front. No one has to guess with me, because I don't like guessing.
P.S. I am a little needy as well,which is why I don't take that as an insult. but I don't react well to tit for tat, or being tested. If I feel someone can communicate (without physical "services") their needs, it's a huge plus.
Communication is one of the skills people forget. It's a very powerful tool. But it's tricky.
-- Modified on 7/10/2016 11:29:07 PM
I could totally talk to you for hours Courtney. I guess we can call it needy like you said. Certain things just seem to be common courtesy. You're a rare find Courtney. Muah Muah
LOL.
Muah muah back. 🙃
-- Modified on 7/11/2016 12:06:19 AM
I am very business like in my communications with clients, even regular clients. In my experience, my best clients are gentlemen who WANT very little contact. They know what they want. They know they want to see me. They visit. We have fun. My sessions are wonderful and I am GREAT at what I do. But....If you want your ass kissed before you've paid me a measly nickel, I'm not the provider for you. In fact, you'd be the exact type of client I'm try my very darnedest to avoid.
The experience begins in the emails, so if I am not 1. prompt 2. Welcoming and Approachable 3. Patient and 4. Informative- then I am not doing my side of communication correctly.
Not all of us ladies have backgrounds in customer service, necessarily, so it may be a bit of a new thing and everyone has bad days- but I feel like if I am not welcoming in my email then why should you get back to me? You have so many options out here, why would you want to deal with someone who is not nice in email- they might not be nice in person. Or, they could be completely sweet in person, but not be good at communicating over email, but why take that chance?
You shouldn't ever have to feel like you are bothering the lady you are contacting to spend time with. I am excited for each and every email that I receive, but I guess I am still a bit new and starry eyed.
Before booking a date in like to check out website, pictures, reviews. It's one of the more exciting parts of getting worked up to meeting a new lady. I'm married so I always have to schedule about a week in advance to make time in my schedule, but it's also very exciting because I'm anticipating my date like a kid on Christmas morning. I've pretty much made the decision to see her prior to the first email.
When I contacted the provider I was gentlemanly, kind, courteous, and considerate. I even offer to provide my verification info without being asked to provide that extra assurance and comfort for her. I like to think if I am nice, courteous, and a gentleman it will translate into a better experience for both of us. SHE WAS BLAH to say the least. Her conversation was completely unenthusiastic. Almost like it was a bother to her to reply to my messages. Ignored my offer to provide verification info and went straight to when? How long?
There was no sweet talk. I never ask or discuss specific details about a date, but I didn't even get so much as a "look forward to meeting you". The plan was to email her the night before, but I blew it off and saw someone else. Am I alone or do other people feel the same way. If she can't make a decent impression in my initial contact, then the date will not be exciting either.
Vanessa!!! That is exactly the point I was trying to make. I think there's something to be said about when 2 people click. This absolutely establishes a level of "mental" attraction for me at leaSt.
I know there's a lot of variance, but I have been around long enough to read many of these providers say "I love what I do and you will too". Since there is variance from person to person isn't it possible to still love what you do, but not click with another person? Furthermore, why does there have to be something wrong with me just because I don't seem to click with you? I feel like a lot of my post was taken out of context by a few of the ladies.
I'm not suggesting that you've gotta drop everything you are doing and answer my message at that moment. I'm not suggesting to find out my hobbies, birthday, favorite color. I am suggesting to acknowledge the context of my communication even if it's to say "I'm really excited to meet you, do you have a time in mind"? I am suggesting that the disregard of common courtesy can kinda raise a red flag that those disregards might carry over into our date and I wouldn't want that now would she. It's like hanging up a telephone without saying goodbye and feeling like there's nothing wrong with that. OMG he is so needy. So picky. If you're a busy lady, I get that. If you don't have a customer service background in get that too. Please also understand having good manners and mannerisms towards others shows them you have respect for them.
Not all of us ladies have backgrounds in customer service, necessarily, so it may be a bit of a new thing and everyone has bad days- but I feel like if I am not welcoming in my email then why should you get back to me? You have so many options out here, why would you want to deal with someone who is not nice in email- they might not be nice in person. Or, they could be completely sweet in person, but not be good at communicating over email, but why take that chance?
You shouldn't ever have to feel like you are bothering the lady you are contacting to spend time with. I am excited for each and every email that I receive, but I guess I am still a bit new and starry eyed.
Before booking a date in like to check out website, pictures, reviews. It's one of the more exciting parts of getting worked up to meeting a new lady. I'm married so I always have to schedule about a week in advance to make time in my schedule, but it's also very exciting because I'm anticipating my date like a kid on Christmas morning. I've pretty much made the decision to see her prior to the first email.
When I contacted the provider I was gentlemanly, kind, courteous, and considerate. I even offer to provide my verification info without being asked to provide that extra assurance and comfort for her. I like to think if I am nice, courteous, and a gentleman it will translate into a better experience for both of us. SHE WAS BLAH to say the least. Her conversation was completely unenthusiastic. Almost like it was a bother to her to reply to my messages. Ignored my offer to provide verification info and went straight to when? How long?
There was no sweet talk. I never ask or discuss specific details about a date, but I didn't even get so much as a "look forward to meeting you". The plan was to email her the night before, but I blew it off and saw someone else. Am I alone or do other people feel the same way. If she can't make a decent impression in my initial contact, then the date will not be exciting either.
I read the ops post.
A gentleman wouldn't be nearly as passive aggressive as you are being,
You don't feel guilty, lol. You still feel mad the person you wanted to see wasn't going to interact with you like you wanted.
Which is fine, but I dont get the point of this.
Everyone runs their stuff different, and those who like a cut and dry booking approach will see her. Those who want more interaction won't.
This isn't about education, the proper way to do things, professionalism or anything like that. This is about a clash in communication styles.
AND...you know, you getting all those PM's asking who it was, Mr. No Reviews. *cough cough
I've not received a single PM Elle. I don't get offended though because I know that I am addressing what appears to be a pretty controversial issue. I'm not sure if you mean it to be offensive or not, but passive aggressive suggests that I'm kinda being aggressive on the back of a missed opportunity to be assertive. Like I was saying to Courtney earlier I think some of my point is being missed? I'm not saying that no one should visit her. I give an example here that's relatable because there's not much variance.
I visit a lady for a date and it's expected to make a greeting but to leave the donation in plain view shortly after we make acquaintance. It's pretty much across the board that I am rude to make my date "ask" for it. Some would even say it ruins the mood of the date for her because it's an unpleasant interaction. Providers feel it's rude to even discuss the donation and that's no problem. But Elle, why can't I feel it's kinda rude to not use manners and common courtesy and even acknowledge the things discussed in our communications? I mean I'm definitely not here saying "OMG I forgot to lay down the donation and she made a big stink about it, totally ruined my mood so I just left".
The thing about it is there is no standard for initial communication, interaction, or level of services. They vary from girl to girl. I'm not complaining about that, I'm suggesting this may unconsciously relate to the level of service when we meet.
There are many, many providers who are all business who provide exceptionally wonderful service. There are many communicative providers who provide shit service. One has very little to do with the other.
I'm getting the strange sense that you're a chronic timewaster. By the time you actually meet the chosen provider, you've likely exhausted the allotted rate in time spent communicating before the appointment.
I respect your opinion. Thank you for sharing.
Some get a little attitude, and they reply back "Courtney, I know you probably get a bunch of crazy emails, but note I am not one of them. I just sent through your booking form." Then I explain they're stranger dangers, and they get the Wall Street Rich Bitch eyes down the nose until I know they're cool, safe, and a good person to invite into my life. LOL.
But I also listen to my spidey sense very strongly. I.E. Someone can write the most mesmerizing compliments, but those who have been around a while, may be able to tell when they're being buttered up. Just as guys do when a girl is hitting him up to book an impromptu a date
I like to keep things all business, or let the auto reply weed out non-serious inquiries, or even people looking for me to jump through hoops for them before he's even proven he is a good client. Not the guy who books one date, then expects me to email back and forth for the rest of my life. (I've had those.)
Quite honestly, girls who are jumping all over men who haven't invested in them yet are most likely not giving the guys who do invest their all. How do I know? I used to believe that I was a customer service center. But I had almost zero returning patrons.
Nowadays, I go by the Jordan Carter theory. "This is not Burger King, Have It Your Way." Weeding out the customer service to guys who haven't proven they're as good as the guys already investing has brought many a returners, and some very awesome guys.
Honestly, I think a great way to look at the customer service is, if she's giving you - someone whom she has never met nor booked - VIP treatment, she's probably doing that with everyone in her inbox, which means, during the date? Probably thinking about what's in her inbox.
I don't need extreme ass kissing or to read a novel, but first impressions are everything in the business world. I certainly don't decline to proceed with escorts I'm contacting for the first time who are businesslike in their e-mails, but if someone can't be bothered to put a few basic, friendly words together, the signal I get is she will be a cold fish and I find it sets the tone for the rest of my time with her. I find myself repeating with escorts who are personable in their communication. A joke, a mild flirtation, or a "I'm looking forward to meeting you!" is quick, easy and free to give and goes a long way in setting the tone for the rest of your business interaction.
Actually, a correction. On two occasions I've sent friendly, polite queries to escorts and received brusque responses for "date and time" that made it known every second I wasn't giving her money was an insult. In both cases I simply moved on. Such behavior is cheap and low class.
Basic friendliness requires little time or effort. A very small time investment up front almost always results in better business and higher quality customers who are repeat visitors.
-- Modified on 7/11/2016 1:18:35 PM
Exactly my point. See if could be friends with this guy. Let play some golf some time.
I actually work in a sales and service environment and showing a customer that I am attentive, knowledgeable, and focus is my bread and butter. That being said some of you ladies have a bit of a social dilemma going on. I'm not sure why my post inspires so many of you to feel the need to insult just because we have differences. Yes I'm totally trying see if some of your POV'so can be swayed. But just because you're a vegetarian and I enjoy steak does not mean I'm disgusted to the point I've gotta insult you like the replies I've gotten.
I would say I tend to be more business-like in my email conversations, especially if it is someone new to me. We don't have any type of relationship yet so I will be cordial but we have nothing in particular to talk about other than the actual date.
The problem, in my opinion, is that most ladies have screening forms where all the necessary information can be entered. It expedites the screening process as well scheduling things. However most gentleman do not use these forms and prefer to email. On average, it takes about 8 emails to schedule one single date because most gentleman do not provide all the necessary information up front. Now think how many dates the average lady has in a week and extrapolate how many emails she gets on a daily basis. That's ignoring all the other emails from people who aren't even serious about booking.
I don't think a provider being business-like via email translates to coldness in person, especially if her reviews say she is friendly
I agree with you too. We as clients need to be communicating in the direction of booking. If we aren't, then we are not being respectful of the lady's time. To this point is where I say in my post that I offered my verification info up front because I am familiar that this is the information she'd need to see that I am serious about meeting her. The part she ignored ironically was my offer to provide VERIFICATION INFO. Then went into what you ladies are calling "straight to business". It's like saying that the verification info is not a part of your business and I'm a NEEDY TIME WAISTER because I've offered it. It was wrong to just blow off the date, but she did kinda blow me off first when I was doing nothing except treating her as a gentleman. Now I can totally understand if a guy is trying to converce without actually talking about scheduling a visit. But if you go back and read my post again I did kinda mention she actually blew of the process of verification that happens before scheduling.
Courtney, I love you Baby. Yes I will marry you as soon as you ready to put a ring on this.
I suppose since there is no standard on either side, then every one of us can be looked at as NEEDY. But then again none of us are NEEDY. If you see a girl for a date and don't get what you were looking for, then were you more needy that she was willing to provide or was she not a good provider because she didn't provide the expected service?
Oh that is a rhetorical question by the way.
what you're asking for is basically unpaid labor and the fact that you didn't bother to request a specific day/time/session length in your initial email demonstrates your time-wasting tendencies. she had every right to be terse in her responses because quite frankly she doesn't owe you anything outside of the time you pay for. if you want a pen pal in the days leading up to the date, be prepared compensate her for that time. you are not entitled to having her coddle you for free. don't be a baby.
Yeah, so I think you may not have read the post. No one said I'm looking for a pen pal or that it's expected to dedicate time in email writing leading up to the date. Feel free to do like Debbie did and quote from the post where I've made this impression. But to go back to something Debbie did mention from my post is that I feel like I went above and beyond. Not that she owed me anything, but that I made it a point to assure her that I was serious about the date and was not wasting her time. I offered my verification info without being asked and she blew that off. I've been around for awhile and the response at that point is to say "thank you" and get the information. Hell it even actually makes me feel more comfortable when a provider does some level of screening and verification because I get an impression there's some level of standard to the suitors she sees. She totally missed that. No she doesn't have to do it be writing a full paragraph response. The like minded tend to think alike. Same way you are ignoring specific details and taking things out of context, so did she.
What my post was really asking is if a provider ignores a specific detail, especially one as important as verification info by email, then couldn't one assume she is most likely less attentive in private. I mean she is the professional as everyone seems to point out. Isn't part of being professional attentive to what your client or even prospective client is looking for? I know in my career it is. But maybe because we come to them instead of the other way around they don't feel like it really matters. My final thought to those of that perception is that it may not matter to you, but it definitely does make a difference. Nuff said.
P.S. some of you that responded may not have them, but definitely could benefit from learning some customer service skills.
You want providers to jump through communication hoops, without any compensation, to obtain your patronage.
When they aren't willing kiss your ass up, down and around the world, you take your toys and go home with a great big frowny face.
All of the women who have responded have exceptionally good reviews, yet you refuse to believe the problem is you.
I find that interesting at best and ridiculously foolish at worst.
Please quote my original unmodified post showing where I give the impression that I'm looking for a provider to quote jump through communication hoops without any compensation to obtain your patronage?
If you are taking me say that she failed to realize I offered her verification info and moved right into asked for a date and time to mean that I'm looking for a provider to jump through communication hoops then you ARE taking me out of context by the definition of what it means to do so. I have nothing against you at all. I am so sorry for any confusion this is causing you. I think it's a controversial issue and from what I've learned by making this post is that there does exist a high percentage of gentlemen that are making unserious inquiries to ladies and this wastes a lot of time and energy. However I remove myself from this category because I offered my verification info first without being asked. Throughout the entire post I never got a message saying she could have been a bit more attentive with the conversation.
Again I'm sorry.
When they aren't willing kiss your ass up, down and around the world, you take your toys and go home with a great big frowny face.
All of the women who have responded have exceptionally good reviews, yet you refuse to believe the problem is you.
I find that interesting at best and ridiculously foolish at worst.
Or let's settle this once and for all. You or any other providers can attach a link to your site or whatever. I will contact anonymous within the next couple days to make it fair with the same exact message I sent her. I guarantee 100% that I will not get the same fluff I got from her and you can see that there's a difference.
I agree with you 100 percent I am a busy person I need to plan ahead. I plan my workouts my diet my work schedule. I text some of the provides try to start a conversation about future times and dates I get attitude I am a time waster I am needy. What ever I have black list also if they can't spend couple minutes for few days to work something out I don't need them in my life.
If you're such a good planner, you should know the exact date and time you'd like to see the provider. Try contacting your stylist, your personal trainer, your accountant, your attorney or any number of other professionals about "potential" dates/times. Please report back with how they respond.
I do know the exact time and dates they don't have in call or all other provider's come in on weekend that don't work. Or because you time slot does not work that is the last you here from them.
Nothing wrong with asking me for a time, just do it like this.
Thanks for your interest. YES please send me your verification info. May I know what time you had in mind? I'd absolutely like to meet you.
Took less than 30 seconds to type that. It's professional, kind, courteous, and allows to to ask about scheduling something. And you can use that next time you are in that situation if you like.
Ok. If this is the price range you're looking at. You are lucky you got that response! I'm sure that bad customer service girl's phone was blowing up like Mt. St. Helen's on a bad day back in the 80's, and people were running to call her like the people running when the volcano erupted.
And you want her to coddle you? Do you have any idea that at that price what kind of inquiries you get 1. as a young blonde - shit. and 2. At a $75 15 minute minimum, which by the way doesn't include 5 minute quick visits? You don't even have to look at the guy, and can check your email while blowing someone - and even if anyone complained, the inquiries would be flooding over! You could have terrible reviews and it doesn't even matter! (Obviously, since you saw her with all of her 4's and 3 reviews.)
There is nothing wrong with seeing someone at that minimum - I mean, unless you want them to bend over backwards for you to keep your appointment, then there is something wrong.
This says it all. Again. Nothing wrong with paying less, but shit - you're not getting a Michelin Star restaurant at burger king prices. I guarantee you that.
Oh wow Courtney. I'm gonna say it again oh wow. Here's the way I respond to that. I appreciate your interest in me. I've viewed your website and find nothing but an intriguing, classy, and educated woman who seems to love life and love sex. Before I'd even visit you, I'd already know that you're an above average kinda lover.
I think that your reply is kinda assuming wouldn't you agree? Today I booked a visit from a woman I viewed in TER ad boards just a few posts away from your own post there. I don't get a chance to hobby as much as I'd like to but when I do, I might be seeking a specific need at that specific time. I like to think I'm a well rounded hobbyist. While I may not expect affection from this type of date, it's not to say that I cannot have a good time at that level. It's kinda like saying that I can only dine out at white tablecloth restaurants with automatic gratuity and wouldn't be caught dead in a fast food place because that's beneath me. I would not have expected this response from you Courtney because honestly out of all the women that responded to my post I thought of your replies with the highest regard.
I remember reading something earlier from you were you mentioned that people don't respond well to being tested and that didn't like being tested. My thing is, I actually don't mind being tested by people at all. The thing that fascinates me is that not if, but WHEN I pass your test, there is no contentment offered, achieved, or assumed beyond this test because it was a test being offered ASSUMUMING that I do not have anything to offer beyond that regard.
To be fair, you did say there is nothing wrong with seeing this type of provider, but you are wrong to assume. It wasn't that type of provider I referenced in my post Courtney. If you would promise not to share the information, I'd be happy to forward you the email chain of the provider in my post and the one I booked today so that you may compare the quality of provider (since this is what you are questioning) and the presentation of my messages to see real life example of the quality in customer service skills.
No I don't like talking bad about providers, especially privately. Why not put her name out publicly? Then she can defend herself and no one is sneakily talking about someone with no solution to the problem.
You're giving barely any real, measurable details, so I'm out.
You're giving barely any real, measurable details, so I'm out.
You're giving barely any real, measurable details, so I'm out.
If I am spending my money or investing my time I like to get information to see if its worth it. And believe me their is a lot of misdirection going on in this game. And the one thing they don't want you to do is ask questions.
Some are arguing that they are on the clock and it is a waist of time if you don't follow through with the date. I agree with them if they are counting every minute of every day as a factor of earnings. There is no product or service being currently offered where each interested customer/client ends up turning into a sale. You are actually hoping for the greatest rate of your time though. There's ano argument that can be made that certain clients are not worth their time because their interest level is not as high as others. Then again there's also an argument that can be made that in order to truly maximize your time you must be adaptable to different clients with different circumstances. Otherwise you find yourself marketing to one type of client and that's totally okay, but then you can no longer argue that every waking minutes if every day is potential income because you are actually limiting your market, product, or service in this case to those that meet YOUR own circumstances. Ironically though you are in a business where it's actually the other way around that your client feels value because your meet what his needs are. Sometimes those needs will align with your own and other times they won't.
I don't hear any of them suggesting that they'd return the donation if their client was not completely satisfied with the service. I treat providers regardless of the rate like although it is a service I'm paying for that it's a pleasurable experience for the both of us.
-- Modified on 7/17/2016 2:21:35 PM