Thanks for all the insight. It's been awhile since I was active in the hobby so I guess that 6 month window would have expired. What stinks is that when a provider that I would like to see wants references, I then have none. My business dictates a lot of my schedule so I am not always able to stay active in the hobby.
Why is it that you can give a provider a $1000 or more over the last couple of years but when you need them for a reference, they won't give you one because you haven't seen them lately?
Three to six months seems to be a common cutoff time. Some will give and accept references well beyond that, others won't.
Deleting old emails and things that can destroy correspondence proving that we met. New phones and lost contacts can slow our roll as well. If the lady doesn't remember you, she can't safely vouch for you. The best way to fix this is to relive the date and describe how she would remember you... did you say something funny? Bring anything special? Talk about something intimate? Or... DO something REaLLY intimate? Hehe. 
Describing location/etc. can be helpful as well.
If the lady flat out won't reply to the new girl - consider maybe she isn't getting the messages. Some emails go to spam, or a lady who calls won't leave a VM and I don't just call every missed call back.... I'm sure others are the same. Try texting, calling, or emailing the lady to prompt her for a reference and ask if she needs more info. This prepares the lady and has her on the look out for messages.
If she SAID she won't be a reference but clearly remembers who you are? Shake my head.... RUDE!
That is all
Thanks for the insight!
I delete ALL communication once a visit is over. This is for the safety of everyone involved.
That is part of great hygiene!
6 months ago you may have been a peach! Even the good can turn mean, nasty, gross. I know a provider who was recently left bruised and battered by a client whom she saw every month. He was a terrific guy....until he showed up high on "Molly".
My reference rules:
-No reference if it has been longer than six months since last visit
-No reference if it has been longer than three months and have only met once before.
-No reference without expressed consent of gentleman first to other provider
I am always happy to give out references, but I think people forget how serious of a matter they are. References keep us all safe and should not be taken lightly
Unfortunately, the amount you pay a provider does not mean anything when it comes to safety. What does matter is how you conducted yourself during the visit, and how long ago it was. She may simply not remember you (this is a problem for me sometimes, as I delete all correspondence after a visit for security reasons, though if the gentleman can tell me what we talked about I will almost certainly remember him) or she may just think it was too long ago to take a risk on you. As another lady said above, people can go through life events and personality changes can be drastic, even in a relatively short amount of time.
Just because you were fine with one provider a year ago, doesn't mean you will be fine with another provider today. But of course people are always changing-- the guy who got fired a week ago from his job or who had his wife divorce him yesterday may decide to take it out on the next lady he's with. You just never really know, and unfortunately not even recent references can guarantee anyone's safety. But they do help, and anything that helps in this business is certainly important. It's just too bad there are no guarantees, recent references or not.
Thanks for all the insight. It's been awhile since I was active in the hobby so I guess that 6 month window would have expired. What stinks is that when a provider that I would like to see wants references, I then have none. My business dictates a lot of my schedule so I am not always able to stay active in the hobby.