To make ends meet. Pay Bills, Rent, Food.
To supplement their income from their regular job. Although some girls/ladies do this Full Time. Some enjoy this line of work. Pay for School. Some go to college and need extra income to pay for college or graduate school.I'm not wanting to open up a flame filled discussion here and I'm not casting aspersions. Just curious as to what both hobbiests and providers see as the reasons providers provide? The reason behind the question is I have an ATF that I just found out, after two plus years of seeing her, has a heroin problem. A bad heroin problem. Call me naive - it's quite alright, but I honestly thought those types of issues were relegated more to the street walking side of the equation. This particular provider is/was a highly sought after provider in another city and I have grown quite fond of her. To find out she is battling this type of demon is devastating and it's left me wondering how many others are using this profession to fund their habit. And it's also left me questioning whether or not I should continue to participate in the hobby - I feel some real guilt over being an enabler, although it was done in virtual ignorance. Looking back there were some signs, but hindsight is always 20/20. She told me that she thinks 90% of escorts are using intravenously from her experience. I have a hard time believing the number is that high or am I still that ignorant?? Everyone's opinion is welcome.
so 90% might be completely accurate from her view point. Non-users tend to draw non-users lady friend wise, some in reverse. Personally I do not know many drug users because I don't participate in any type of drug use, don't smoke, and only really drink socially occasionally. Personally don't draw those who need drugs to make life work. I do feel bad for those with that kinda monkey on their back, but I have nothing to offer them so let them do their own thing.
You are not an enabler, you didn't know. Even had you known you still are not really. If you don't see her someone else will, so either way she will get her fix and well at least if you are the one seeing her then it is not someone who will try to do her harm. Just know there is nothing you can ever say or do that will change anything. They just have to want to stop for themselves, if they never want to then it sucks but it is totally on them.
Anyway, maybe it is a little jaded but sometimes you just have to really think about what is going on and go from there. Try to see the whole pic though from your side, her side every one's. Then make your choices on where to go from here
GL, Sage
Sage, thanks for the thoughtful reply. Your point about "likes attracting likes" was very helpful.
Theres a reason behind it and let me tell you why.Not all women are mentally STRONG enough for this game.They sell their bodies for goodness sakes.That is very traumatizing to some providers.Reason they go through with it is because of the money and to feed their drug habit.On the other side of the spectrum,Their are women that actually enjoy this hobby.And those are the ones who are mentally strong and actually enjoy what they do.They don't need a substance.Not every provider enjoys their job.I know a girl who shoots up in between dates.Escorting can be very traumatizing to some.Welcome to the game.
-- Modified on 5/22/2016 9:18:27 PM
And I happen to present to society as a typical WASP - or the head of the women's blog club at Starbucks. lol! But if you don't do drugs, hanging around with people who are on them is kind of boring - to me, at least. We're just not on the same wavelength, and it feels awkward. (Not to mention, drugs actually scare the shit out of me.)
The most liberating, euphoric feeling is reaching personal and professional goals. That's my drug - evolving myself into what I've always wanted to be. Hell, I could have my head in the clouds and not know I'm living a lie, but I've worked the typical 9-5 for years. I feel more responsible now spending below my means in my personal life. Below my means nowadays is more than above my means then... It's also very fun to support my "unhealthy" habit of spa visits lol! Lots of em. LOL!
P.S. I wrote a blog on this "am I supporting something bad by hiring escorts" thing. It is really LONG - I ramble - but I think it may answer some of your questions 
BTW - I'm hoping this isn't anything to do with your and a lady's blow up, and now you're publicly saying something (a deep dark, vulnerable secret) so she finds it. Just a little side note - I think it's great to ask questions, but I'm just hoping this isn't meant to take a passive aggressive jab at someone. It's a pretty big deal for someone to share something like that with you, and trust you with that info.
No matter how mad you are at someone, taking a jab at something really vulnerable is one of those mistakes you'll regret later on. Just in case - not saying you are, but... food for thought.
-- Modified on 5/22/2016 11:59:53 PM
Courtney - thanks for the reply, I appreciate your input and take on the situation. We actually have not had a "blow up"; my reaction to her situation has always been one of care and concern. No, this is not a jab at her or anyone else. I'm not mad or angry with her, just deeply concerned. She lives in another city and state and will not likely see this post, so it has nothing to do with a passive aggressive attempt to "out" her or shame her. She disappeared from radar for a couple of months and when she reappeared texted me to tell me she had been in jail on a drug charge. This revelation has really just rocked me hard to the point of tears on several occasions. We are still in touch but I've told her I can't see her anymore because of my feelings of guilt about "supporting her habit". Although she talked about stopping and getting help, that didn't last long and she's admitted she's back on the junk ("I'm a junkie, that's what I am"). And it has made me question whether or not I should continue to participate in the hobby itself. I'll take a peek at your blog post as well, thanks for sharing.
Saying 90% is just her covering up her own problems and trying to blame everyone else for her problem. That's a disgusting pig comment on her behalf to the rest of us who I'm guessing lead regular vanilla lives outside of the business. I don't feel any need to defend myself, but out of all the board post over so many years implying this feeds a drug habit is the single most insulting thing I've herd. What about those who have families, mortgages , education or enjoy traveling, starting businesses or are in the arts? Maybe some of us enjoy the company! She's just trying to cover up herself, point fingers and blame which is what all addicts do best, blame others for their problem, lie, and ask for any amount of money they can get.
I've watch a couple close friends fall down the rabbit hole and even if they claim to be sober I will never trust them or allow them in my home. PS to OP, anything a heroine user says is a lie and I'd run as fast as you can from that provider
Alyssa, thanks for the post. I haven't had the experience dealing with heroin users before, so this is a whole new world to me. I appreciate your raw and direct approach, my eyes are wide open.
In a long thread like this, it really helps to sort things out.
The simplest but best advice. They lie,steal, and cheat. Also, they use other drugs and share needles. Run don't walk, and if she completes a program God bless her, but still run!!! And did I mention they lie. So sad and so true. And on a related topic, refrain from pigeon holing providers, like all people they come in many shapes and forms.
I've watch a couple close friends fall down the rabbit hole and even if they claim to be sober I will never trust them or allow them in my home. PS to OP, anything a heroine user says is a lie and I'd run as fast as you can from that provider.
I appreciate the input and advice but have to ask who is "pigeon-holing providers"? I simply asked a question and requested input.
I suppose if you asked this question of a bunch of streetwalkers the number would be shocking, I doubt it would be 90%, but it would be a VERY large percentage.
As for percentage of TER women being junkies, I doubt even half drink, well less than half are 420 friendly, less than 10% do any kind of hard drugs and I would be surprised if more than one out of a hundred were an actual junkie.
It really is a bit surprising just how tame most of the TER community really are except for having sex for money, this is not the hard partying crowd you might think it is. You would be surprised how many both men and women here refuse to have so much as a single drink before or during a session. Yes, I am sure there are a few functional junkies here, flying under the radar, but anyone that would admit to it on any of the boards would be run out of town as a pariah and would most likely never get a TER booking again. We just aren't that kind of crowd here. Personally I grew up around junkies and I won't allow those kind of people anywhere near my life. There is no one more selfish, undependable, and dishonest than a junkie.
A recent NY Times story reported studies that show that more than 80% of hard drug users are not addicts. The majority can take drugs recreationally with little ill effect - except those associated with anti-drug laws (arrests or the ill-effects of unregulated black market drugs). Possibly, the situation is worse now as many new heroin users are reported to switch to heroin after getting addicted to prescription opiates.
There is a whole industry that profits off this user = addict assumption. Users who are not addicts are sent to month-long inpatient rehab clinics whose goal is keep them in rehab until they use up the treatment covered by insurance.
There are a lot of "social" pot smokers, drinkers, even coke sniffers, but when you get into the world of heroin and crack, there are very few "casual" mainliners or crack heads.
Also even legal opiates are highly addictive, and the number of pill poppers who are addicted is staggering.
To make ends meet. Pay Bills, Rent, Food.
To supplement their income from their regular job. Although some girls/ladies do this Full Time.
Some enjoy this line of work.
Pay for School. Some go to college and need extra income to pay for college or graduate school.
I hope your friend has a support system as it is sometimes the case that the stigmatization of a circumstance compounds isolation and is more harmful than the actual circumstance itself. That said, talk about a gross generalization. People reaching into the ether and grabbing random numbers and passing them off as statistics in relation to how many sex workers do and don't do XYZ is so bothersome and honestly pretty whorephobic. Like how do we know that hoes use more than say, doctors, or judges, or any other type of worker? Also maybe it's just me, but I can't stand a non-question question. If you want to theorize and make the statement: "I think providers provide because....." that would have been much less loaded.
Hi Lena, thanks for the reply. I wasn't attempting to make a statement or or theorize. I was/am simply asking for input as I had a hard time believing that 90% of providers are users. But not seeing the signs in this case made me wonder if I am just extremely naive. Take care.
I don't think it's anyone's business. We all make our own choices in this life.
After all, it's not like anyone got on your back for patronizing prostitutes.
Adriane, I have to disagree with you in the sense that using heroine is a major health issue the amount of 'blood born pathogens ' associated with heroine use is extremely high especially Hepititis and easy to pass along in this business.
At no point do I ever feel selfish enough to knowingly pass along a non cureable disease or treatable to anyone
Because you've got to treat the general public as if they had an STD regardless.
Albeit, I consider individuals who abuse drugs as a threat to my personal safety and security in general. No one needs to be beaten up by doped up manic or get busted with drugs/paraphernalia and end up doing hard time in the clink.
Also, please keep in mind the individuals out there who get too intoxocated; albeit Alcohol, Cocaine, Pills, and Weed may partake in the same risky behavior because they 'feel' good and/or are too out of it to realize what they're doing.
Nonetheless, There are many of us ladies who have to sip wine just to even get into the mood to see a client. Unfortunately, there are some ladies who turn to drugs to numb themselves because they don't enjoy what they do and/or they feel the need to mentally escape from a situation that they might being going through.
With all of this being said - I have two cousins who are hardcore heroin addicts at this very moment. There's not a day go by where I think back to walking into my cousins house to witness the both of them scratching their limbs and shaking from head to toe. They were so strung out that they could barely speak. When addiction hits home, it hurts.
Not to mention, my father battled addictions to various narcotics when he was younger which led to a kidney AND a liver transplant a couple of years ago. I had to be my Dad personal caretaker and even had to get my driver's license at 14 years old so I could just take him to the hospital.
Alas, with my cousins and my father, it was their choice to partake in what they did. I will never, EVER judge and/or shame a person for the things they do - We all have addictions/vices of some kind. You could be addicted to money, women, or even love and not even know it. However, I am always 100% supportive for those who take the initiative to change their lifestyles and seek professional help. Sobriety is truly a wonderful thing.
EDIT - So sorry for the long post. This one really struck home.
-- Modified on 5/23/2016 12:20:28 PM
I understand. Again, I hope your friend finds the care she needs. And I definitely think 90% is very inflated.
We can generally assume that a lot of these girls are in the business to pay for a drug addiction. OK. Point taken. There are also others that just want to pay bills and get by like the rest of us.
to make money. It's a job. Whether the provider is a BP girl or an 800 /hour provider, it makes no difference when it comes to drug addiction. Just like whether you're a CEO or a mechanic. Some girls get into this and become addicted to the fast money..or just need it for family & they continue to stay even when they know their job is damaging and they need to leave, but they can't. ...what else will they do? It's not that easy to quit your job and just walk away. I've talked to PLENTY of people in this situation, clients and providers both. I can definitely say 90% of escorts don't shoot up, even saying 50% would be ridiculous. But drugs are definitely used in this industry, a lot, but there are also a lot of girls that aren't using...so I wouldn't let one person speak for all of us
Thanks for the reply Violet, it's good to get all the feedback and even PMs. I've seen a couple of girls over the years that I could tell were high on something, but never saw that in this particular provider. And I've even seen one girl from an agency here in Chicago who I could tell did not want to be there. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a "trafficking" situation as the agency involved is a very well respected agency, but it still gave me reason to pause. It is true that this "industry" isn't cut out for everyone.
Count the number of dancers who get shit faced drunk and/or the ones who have drinks in their hands.
After that . . .
Let's go the bars close to the business district and count the number of businessmen in suits who get shit-faced by the end of the night.
It would be an interesting observation, IMHO.
LOL. But your observation is a fair one. Alcohol can be a crutch and a tough habit to kick, but from I have read and seen, heroin is at the top of the mountain when it comes to addictions and the difficulties in getting clean/sober. I know quite a few business associates who have, what appears to be, a drinking problem. But if I were to have a chemical dependency problem (which I don't), I would rather have it be alcohol than heroin. The hard part for me in this is being emotionally connected to this person, and the fact I didn't see the signs earlier. It just makes me think and take a long look at what I'm doing here. Thanks for the input.
Those that continue are entrepreneurial, professional small business operators who have found their "niche". I think of them as professional therapists much like a nurse. Unlike a nurse this therapy treats only the symptoms. Many have and continue to have success in another profession; for them it is a profitable hobby. All of the successful ones are competing in a price sensitve, risky, commodity market where substitutes are readily available and supply far outstrips demand. They have carefully segmented the market to appeal to a narrow slice of it, then grow their book-of-business, one by one, until they have a portfolio they are comfortable with. They are shrewd marketers; you see it on their website design. At least that has been my experience. YMMV but my preference is for the mature segment that typically have options and have made a conscious decision based on their talents, tastes, skills, and preferences. The best ones have elevated it to an art form and are skilled practitioners that take pride in their work.It's good for your soul; insurance should cover it just like any other therapy ... but I digress ..
I always wanted to thank my gentlemen for helping me to pay for my degree. That's where 90 percent of my net income goes. I'm close to be done with my master's and I would love to continue meeting my gentlemen and help my son. He got accepted in a very good college (yey!!!) and he actually starts it this summer. He will receive some scholarship and grants, but biology and medical degree is a long and very expensive path. I don't want him to end-up owing close to half a million in student loans.
-- Modified on 5/24/2016 3:30:41 PM
It can be for any number of reasons... ask 50 people and get 50 different answers. My friend got into it because she was (happily) having sex with everyone already and it was easy enough to turn it into a business so she could stop having to share apartments with roommates and not depend exclusively on her day jobs. She has zero regrets about it.
First provider friend I have got in the biz to pay a large medical bill for her mom...disliked the biz for awhile, but eventually saw it as an income stream that she could use for very specific goals. It's more of a financial planning vehicle...you'd never know it but she's not into the sex part of this hobby at all - it's just a quick mean to an end.
The 2nd provider friend just flat out loves sex, and thinks the money is nice. She started strictly for the fantasy of sleeping with complete strangers, being highly sought after, so much so that men would pay her. That quickly turned into a sexual fantasy of sleeping with over 100 men just for the hell of it. And she's now in it for a combination of sexual fantasies and what the money provides for her freedom. Everyone is different and there's a boatload of reasons