hm.. looks like my reply vanished - so retyping.
These were from backpage - cross-checked with TER. I spoke with the person each time - no handlers. the 2nd and 3rd had entries - I missed a warning on the 2nd one, the 3rd one had several positive recent reviews. Time of day - I was callign for now, but obvously people have to travel around city. It was from 10;30 pm until about midnight - I had expect the 3rd person by 12:30 am. I gave up about 1 for reference. I had never had a problem before with last minute at backpage, but obviously this is an example of get what you pay for, plan ahead, caveat emperator, etc.etc. What about posting a review / calling out the members here for no show - or would that actually be seen as in bad taste and backfire on me so don't bother?So, this may be on me, but last week, I had 3 no-shows and I'm annoyed about it.
Traditional two call system - call, get time, come to this address, call back. I arrived at the address, no pickup on the phone. I waited about 15 min, then moved on - I looked bad standing on the street just outside the loop.
I then found someone for outcall to me. Setup time - I explained that I wasn't at hotel, would be 15-20 min. No problem, call back when I got there. I called back, no reply - tried about 25 min then moved on the plan C.
Plan C - found another option for outcall to me. Setup time, confirmed place. Explained I had to meet in lobby due to how hotel was setup, that didn't seem to be a problem, they would cll me when there - about 20 min later.
An hour later, no phone call or text, I gave up went to sleep.
Two of these people I know are on TER, not sure about the first one.
I lay low so obviously calling them out completely gets into a finger pointing issue and who has time for that. Plus most likely it just makes people concerend about me.
So:
1) whatever happened to manners - I feel like I didn't do anything wrong, if I'm missign something please let me know.
2) Is this common? Never had this happen to me before
3) How do others ( on both sides) handle this?
4) Any suggestions on what to do to avoid this next time
Mm, you didn't do anything wrong. It sounds like you had a string of bad luck.
For the providers that are on TER, I assume you read through their reviews, and other information you had on them. I wonder if there's a way to find out if they've done no-shows in the past, and alerting other hobbyists either way. How far in advance did you make the appointments? Did this happen all in the same day?
They could have at least gotten in contact with you to cancel. That's really unprofessional and a waste of time for everyone involved. I'm also wondering about their screening processes.
I'm not sure if there's anything you can do (on your end) to avoid this next time. Maybe better research about the provider? Overall, They should have properly facilitated better communication.
Boooo on these providers!!! First thing: NCNS is not cool, it makes a bad impression on biz., where are you finding these girls, most Likey if they are doing it to you they are doing this to others. Sorry this happened not once but 3 times, hopefully not in one day but I say research research research, stick with well reviewed providers.
Not all providers are like this!!
hm.. looks like my reply vanished - so retyping.
These were from backpage - cross-checked with TER.
I spoke with the person each time - no handlers.
the 2nd and 3rd had entries - I missed a warning on the 2nd one, the 3rd one had several positive recent reviews.
Time of day - I was callign for now, but obvously people have to travel around city. It was from 10;30 pm until about midnight - I had expect the 3rd person by 12:30 am. I gave up about 1 for reference.
I had never had a problem before with last minute at backpage, but obviously this is an example of get what you pay for, plan ahead, caveat emperator, etc.etc.
What about posting a review / calling out the members here for no show - or would that actually be seen as in bad taste and backfire on me so don't bother?
Considering the site you were looking to book from, I'm not shocked at all. Also, you can't post a review on a NC/NS.
That was your mistake. Even if you looked on backpage, make sure they are also reviewed on here. You're playing with fire.
I started this profession on backpage so we can't say that all providers are horrible that guys meet on BP ... You just have to do your research & research very well!!
To the OP don't let these experiences determine that all providers are NCNS cause we aren't.
Happy Hobbying!!
Xox
Had it happen to me sometimes when I didn't know better than to use BP. Of course that was the least of my troubles with that site (don't ask). I find it disappointing that someone with positive TER reviews would do it. My solution lately has been to see girls and agencies I've already had good experience with but that's still no guarantee. Just research the best you can and know there will be some issues.
I guess consider yourself lucky because that is probably an indication of bad service to follow. Best you keep your funds in your pocket instead of wasting time and funds on a flaky so called provider. With a little search and help from fellow hobbiest you will find a good match who will treat you well in return.
Hope your week includes a happy ending.
That was the 13th after all. Three in a row?
But seriously, if someone is flaky enough to NCNS then be glad you never met. The service would have been subpar as well.
I've been cancelled on plenty, even by very so called "reputable" providers, but they at least called or (emailed depending on timing) to give give me an excuse. Some of the excuses were pretty good. I'm sure some were even true but I think in most cases they were offered a longer, more lucrative, appointment. I have discovered many ladies throughout the years that do have great manners and dignity such that they would never consider backing out on their word for simply more money.
But back on topic....
After a NCNS I will not reach out for an explanation or any further discussion. Sometimes they will contact me to offer an apology or attempt to make amends. I did have occasion once to communicate with someone after she NCNS'ed me and I got her to open up as to why she flaked. Her honest (I believe) response was that she got a bad vibe from me and she thought I was LE. I think this is probably the more common reason "low end" (for lack of a better term) women flake out, at least for guys like me that are always courteous. I'm sure there also is a group of asshole guys that get flaked on a lot because they are, well, assholes in their followup communications.
I had a long discussion with this lady that earlier thought I was LE. Once someone has convinced themselves that you are LE or nasty in some other fashion then they also convince themselves they owe you no explanation and their intuition tells them to essentially "flee". They typically never find out what their batting average is so the inclination, in order to feel good about the situation, is they think they are correct (at least most of time.) I spent a lot of time attempting to convince this lady that even if she thought someone was LE, etc. she was better off in the long run to at least call with a made up explanation, pointing out to her that they already have her phone number or email. I guess there is a down side of not wanting to educate the real LE that they sound like LE but better up front screening and as you put it, "good manners" is a better way to go in the long run