you are intelligent and honest yet kind/tactful/respectful in your advice. In other forums (not just TER's) a sincere poster becomes the butt of jokes, sarcasm, put downs for being naive or gullible. I haven't posted here before, but wanted to tell you that I have learned from your forum and appreciated your advice and your thoughtful approach.
-- Modified on 7/12/2006 9:37:03 AM
Dear ladies and gentlemen,
Just a note to let you know how much your participation is appreciated, and how beneficial it seems for all to ask emotionally sensitive questions among some very caring indviduals.
The main reason for the existence of this board is that many hobbyists and providers simply do not have anyone to discuss their emotions with when it comes to hobbying. Since commercial sex work and its participants on both sides are subject to heavy societal judgments and "moralistic penalties," many suffer and agonize in silence. Our board has now become a safe place and many of you seem to obtain insight and perhaps even a deeper understanding of your own issues when reading the responses.
Therefore, it is perhaps important that we remain sensitive to the question, "does this issue belong on this board?" I say this, because occasionally, my responses in particular do not contain the desired information. I may refer to other boards, or provide links. The reason for this is twofold: one, I am a licensed therapist restricted to the limits and the scope of my practice. Meaning, I am not a licensed physician and I therefore defer to experts. It would be highly irresponsible and unethical on my part to communicate specific medical advice. What I can do, is give referrals, and that is what happens in such a case...even if this board officially is for entertainment only.
The other issue is perhaps of a more ideological nature. TER has some excellent discussion boards, both all-purpose and some specific. I believe that in order to prevent boards from 'degrading and diluting,' it is best to stick to the intended purposes of each respective forum. Thus, legal questions can be answered by the eagles on their board; newbies can post on their board; political and TG on their separate boards; and, various other debatable issues on the all-star board for General Discussion. In addition, local boards provide a wealth of answers specific to their respective geographical areas.
With all that said, it is very, very wonderful that we have managed to keep this a very unique place to be. I am impressed by the respectful tenor and above all, the incredible willingness to share and help among the various participants. Let us all keep it that way by posting those questions that move us all in a deeper, reflective direction, and leave the basic how-to's for hobbyists and providers to chew on at the other excellent boards that our brilliant TER community provides.
Thank you so much,
the Love Goddess
Although I had already gained respect for your attitude and approach by reading your posts for a couple of weeks now, this post further solidifies my impression of you as a sincere, respectful and knowledgeable individual. And most of all, trustworthy.
you are intelligent and honest yet kind/tactful/respectful in your advice. In other forums (not just TER's) a sincere poster becomes the butt of jokes, sarcasm, put downs for being naive or gullible. I haven't posted here before, but wanted to tell you that I have learned from your forum and appreciated your advice and your thoughtful approach.
-- Modified on 7/12/2006 9:37:03 AM
Is it normal to be jealous when reading reviews of my ATF by other guys or do I need to have my head examined??
Dear Curious to know,
Thank you, thank you! As to your question: it is completely normal to be jealous when reading reviews of your ATF posted by other guys. After all, you do have an emotional connection to her - or why else would she have become your ATF?
The feeling of jealousy has been psychologically "devalued" and "misinterpreted" for a very long time in Western society. It is not "nice" to be jealous, we are taught as children. And yet, from an evolutionary psychology standpoint, jealousy is an adaptation that exists among all primates. Even mammals...check out your dog when you give someone else's pooch your attention!
Jealousy is an evolved adaptation, activated by threats to a valuable relationship, functioning to protect it from partial or total loss; it's activated by the presence of interested and more desirable intrasexual rivals, and, according to David M. Buss, PhD, professor of psychology and celebrated evolutionary psychologist,"functions, in part, as a motivational mechanism with behavioral output designed to deter the dual specters of infidelity and abandonment."
Now, in Short Term Mating strategies such as in liaisons with one time providers, jealousy does not enter into the equation, because neither party is making a genetic investment in the relationship. But lo and behold, we are predictable human beings. We have various preferences and desires; we want to "fake mate"... and somehow those ATFs begin to enter the picture, bringing with them some illusory feelings of pair bonding - and ensuing jealousy.
As to dealing with the feeling, the easiest would be to ignore reading the other reviews - after all, she is a provider and it's her job to make men feel wonderful - and enjoy your meetings with her to their fullest.
Yep, yer normal as can be,
the Love Goddess
You - and this forum - rock, LG. You and TER have made this a safe haven to discuss and to learn, and for that, you have my thanks.
I completely agree with the above opinions. This is far and away the best, most honest and caring board on any Escort advertising/Client discussion site. I certainly hope this board remains a safe haven for all to discuss their concerns, fears, and questions in an environment where no one is attacked or belittled for their thoughts and concerns.
Wonderful job, TER and Love Goddess! Moreover, wonderful to see the diverse posters refraining from unkind judgments, insults and the rest of the negativity that seems to permeate this site on other boards.
Love and gracious thanks,
Andi Ryan
I do view our lives as walking or traveling down paths or highways. Sometimes, we will travel with people for a long time, others will be a chance meeting and never to see each other again.
What we do is something that almost 100% of the people dream and fantasize about. But it takes brave or foolish souls, depending on how you look at it, to do what we do, on both sides.
But the emotional toll can be great.
For most of us, we can't talk to our partners, signifigent others, best friends about our troubles we may encounter from time to time.
I've made friends with several girls in the years I've enjoyed the "hobby". And with these friendships come trust where you can open up with what's on your mind.
Many people aren't quite lucky and there are still thousands of people out there, wishing to have what we have here....
Maybe one of these days what is only chatted in specialty sites like TER, will become more visible and a little bit more mainstream.
It may not be in our lifetime but I think there will be a point in time where there's no social stigma in paying for sex.
Or maybe society will evolve where there's no money needed and we can all have sex when we want to and not have to hide our urges, wants and desires.
eom
uuuh damn, can you erase what I wrote...
this is going to destroy my tough guy reputation..
RH
Can you imagine the possibility to live freely to express self, body and desires. This would be a wonderful goal for our society. I decided to stop and FEEL this feeling...wouldn't you consider that heaven? I truly WISH it for all of us. I believe our freedom and rights are well worth sharing, expressing and fighting for.
A few questions to ponder:
Where will we end up?
How many other planets have advanced civilizations with concepts as theses??
Which do you think is more possible: our own planet evolving, traveling to an advanced planet or evolving yourself???
One thing I have figured out is: we cum into this world naked and free and exit it a changed soul...there's no time like the present to think big and make a mark on that highway of life.
This is the first time I looked in this forum and wow what a great surprise and feeling I have to see you all here. What love and great insight I feel instantly and LOVE GODDESS...you are AWESOME.
Quite frankly I am tried of being attacked. I simply don't have time to allow it into my life anymore. I seek love, encouragement and support. I enjoy learning, sharing and healing. That highway of life can be very bumpy depending on your choices. Just remember you can CHANGE anytime you CHOOSE. The only thing consistant is change.
So, I choose to seek out better forums and found the EROTIC HIGHWAY. The feeling is better then when I first came across TER. It was my first forum, my first chatroom and my first online experience to providing. I was so surprised, excited and it changed my life for sure. I have been trying to learn as much as I can. I thrive on desires, experiences and wisdom.
I have my feelings, opinions and questions like everyone else and am excited to think I may finally be able to express them FREELY.
After reading some of these threads, I realize a lot of what I desired to share has already been discussed. So I am going to take the time to read back through them all and catch up with you all before I start posting more.
I just wanted to pop in and say, "Way to go TER, another winner"
Have to dream - and believe - that there are civilizations that thrive on openness and honesty out there. There may have even been some on this planet at one time or another.
My cynicism is about to come out here though, regarding what's more possible. I can't help but believe that our technological advances will take us to alien worlds long before we'll mature as a species and a society. There are just too many people, both shepherds and sheep, who are too entrenched in their myoptic little worlds to be receptive and respectful to anything or anyone that doesn't fit so completely into their little mindsets. And I can only hope that those few who are able to evolve can become our leaders, and inspire evolution.