Some may remember me from a post here not long ago (still on the first page at the moment). Some told me to take it slow. Well, slow is relative.

I'm not intending on going into details here but my main and long point is the following. It was great in a lot of ways. However, 'great' I'll bet will mean to almost everyone here that I had all those things on the menu. Well, as embarrasing as it is, I couldn't get 'it' to work (well it did initially and then just died). It certainly was not the fault of the provider, she was awesome and sexy and tried and tried. Actually it finally started working again at the end of the session and got to experience some BBBJ pleasure but after a while it didn't work out. I am writing it all off mostly to extreme stress in my *hell* of a marriage that's just getting worse, which apparently affected me greatly, as well as being a newbie did make me nervous; although I really didn't feel nervous for long because the provider was so nice and sweet to me. So anyway, I look at it all like this - I got a lot out of it that I wanted. Aside from just getting the experience, I was able to spend an hour with a beautiful sexy woman and be 'affectionate' in ways I have fantasized about for a long time that probably most take for granted. With me, being in a sexless and essentially affectionless marriage for years has been unbearable and what finally prompted me to this course of action. While it appears that, from reading reviews etc (after paying to be VIP to read them), people tend to put their value on the acts performed and how well etc, I am at least in this experience looking at it positively and at a level that has a lot of meaning for me, it was almost spiritual in a way.

Ok laugh all you want, it even sounds a little funny to me...
Sure I would have liked more, I would have liked to experience my ideal fantasy. I am a guy with needs after all, and yes some needs still unfulfilled. This brings me to the next point. I didn't really think this would happen so soon but I am already craving another experience, even after what happened - where's the big warning on this site that it's addictive?? haha.. I'm trying to at least wait a while until I feel more 'functional' and for the donation reserves pile to slowly build again. I just love being with these beautiful and talented women. Maybe they won't all be as nice as my provider was though Big hugs to you if you're reading this, but you're probably way too busy to hang around newbie boards!

Thanks for reading my 'blog'.