I just registered here today after finding this place last night. I want to see an escort (my marriage is already doomed and sucks horribly, etc.). After reading some faqs, messages on here and reviews of an escort I like, I am coming to a realization that I'm screwed, and not in the way I want.
Yes I am as newbie as they come, so I ask this - are any of you married? Or is it a 'taboo' subject? Or is it typical? Is it something that an escort would want to know, or is it something you never bring up and they would actually not see me because of it? Or is it actually part of the interview? Which brings up another whole other problem of not having any references.
I can already see other problems. If the agency/escort wants to call me (like the 2-call I read about) on my cell, the wife has access to my phone records. Calling them is an issue too but I figured out I can call using a calling card. I also have to discreetly take cash out the ATM in small chunks so as to make it look normal, and put it away for the 'rainy day'.
I already emailed a place and mentioned I'm married. I'm thinking I won't hear back and that was stupid(?). It was days ago.
So am I "screwed"?
(I fear I don't know what I'm getting if resort to trying out the personals sex ads like adultfriendfinder or sexsearch or something).
.... you WILL BE soon! ;~)
You started on the right track, you will receive plenty of advice and references to links for more information.
Married? probably most are
Taboo? not really, no need to broadcast it, that no doubt is why you are here
Escort need to know? not necessarily
References? Plenty of links available about newbies w/o references, do some homework on that matter and EVERYTHING else
Cell phone a problem? Purchase a prepaid cell & keep it away from wife
Cash at ATM? everyone's approach is different
Adultfriend finder? no experience with that, some advice will come
"Screwed ?" Hopefully SOON!
Enjoy!
Oh yes, the 2 call system, here is how that works, I love this link!
http://www.boreme.com/boremerigid/funny-2005/telephone-sex-p1.php
-- Modified on 11/25/2006 12:06:02 PM
-- Modified on 11/25/2006 12:08:22 PM
Your posting makes it sound like you are pretty up-tight about the whole thing. I'd recommend that you slooooooooow down. Do your research. There is a wealth of resources on the web, and a lot of it is right here (on TER). Read them. Many of the questions you've asked will be answered. The worst thing you can do is rush into things.
Personally, I'm not married, nor in a relationship for which I have to worry about being deceptive, so I won't even start to offer advice specific to that.
Find someone that is reviewed that you like and just be yourself..
Yes I am married and most if not all the gals I have seen know I am...
Other thing would be to get a prepaid cell phone you can buy them everywhere.. I would recommend T Mobile
Last thing.. I would go for the indies before any agency gal... there are some very good agencies out there and I do use them but I much prefer independent gals!!
Have fun and welcome this hobby is very addicting let me warn you there!! LOL!!!
-- Modified on 11/25/2006 4:58:53 PM
Advice above is all good. PRIVATE Pre-paid cell phone, do your homework as a VIP member, etc. Once you have the cash for your first encounter, be sure you see a well-reviewed provider who will take good care of you as you enter this world of fantasy.
Slow down and think for just a minute. You need to worry more about a girlfriend screwing up your marriage than a provider. If your wife is the suspicious type, make sure you delete your page viewing history on your computer.
Thanks to everyone for the good advice and answering so fast... how often are you on here, anyway..haha..
I was thinking that well, maybe all I need is once, to get it out of my system. But I am beginning to see that it probably won't work that way. I'll try to slow down a bit. The idea just leaped in my head and I got over excited (I was in spain a week ago, and got wound up when the hotel said they would do "everything" I want, but really he just offered to help translate the 200 or so escort ads in the paper, and would let her in the hotel, but they wouldn't call for me. Maybe they're more laid back there, and cheaper too, about 100-150 euro/hour mostly. I gave up because of the language issue, if we can't communicate what's the point, esp when it's my first time. So then I thought maybe when I get home I can look into it.
Why didn't I think of the prepaid? Duh.. I even had one in spain.
Going independent seems best to me. Also I don't want a switch to happen, esp. when I'm all geared up for a girl, and I'm not a regular that can just say oh it's ok just this time.
So I guess I just have to research more, when I can find the time with the wife not around, arghh.. 
If you travel a lot, you have a ready made chance to hobby with the wife not around. Just be cautious and use the resources on this site, there are many ripoffs and upsellers (state one price but offer services only for more money) out there. If you do not plan to hobby often, spend time doing research and get with a solid pro, you will be happier.
Some hoobyists that post here have written that hobbying made the marriages better. Hobbying may work for you, but watch out for the pitfalls of guilt and addiction (to hobbying). One last item, stay within the bounds of your family budget, do not spend money on hobbying that is better spent elsewhere.
Sounds like you're in much the same boat as I am, only I found this site 2 mos. earlier than you did. In that time, I have read all I could about this hobby, carefully planned a stratagy for seeing providers without the wife finding out (i.e. prepaid cell, yahoo email acct., steadily saving $ in small amounts, and creating a favorites list to keep track of those I might want to see in the future). Only now do I feel ready to go forth with my plans. I have to be even nore carefull than you as niether my wife or I have no desire to end my marriage. Should I get caught, I will lose a great deal. But I will no longer ignore the needs I have which will not be met by an unwilling spouse. I'm quite sure that I will not be a terribly active hobbyist, but when I venture out I will take extreme caution to protect my marriage. Good luck fellow newbie! Now go do the work.
I can't speak for any other provider, but I can offer you my perspective. You asked if you should mention that you are married. It actually probably is a good idea to let a lady know that, but not for the reasons you might think.
When I meet someone, I know that he probably is married. Its not my place to judge, or question why you have decided to see me, so I don't. However, if I know that you are married, I will take care not to wear perfume that might linger on your clothes. I will take care not to get a lipstick smudge on the collar of your shirt, and I will check the back of your coat to make sure that no telltale stray hairs are hiding back there.
I do these things because discretion is a two way street, and just as I expect the gentlemen I see to respect my privacy, I also recognize that protecting their privacy is a priority as well. If the lady that you visit is a quality provider, she will take protecting your 'secret' just as seriously, if not more so, than you do.
So, by all means tell her. Chances are you will not find a provider who would refuse to see you because of it, and hopefully it will clue her in to do her part to keep your time together fun without unpleasant consequences.
Good luck and enjoy yourself. That IS what this is all about after all.
Just my two cents.
Thank you, SinsOfTheFlesh..
That was very helpful.
And generally the comments from people about slowing down.. My sex life has slowed so much it\'s been going backwards!! I know what you all mean though.. I\'m at the point where that girl in the street last week looked reaally good to me even though objectively, not.. but thankfully I thought about it for a minute and knew better, responsible as I am. I honestly never knew it might come to this for me, but now I am seeing the value of this profession for people.
And I\'m glad one can get so much support here from such nice people!
to our little corner of the world. As Sins points out... let the provider know... to them, this is a profession and they will take steps to avoid helping your get caught (ie. no perfume etc.) Add to that, make your wishes known... reasons for seeing providers vary by as many members and more that are registered on TER - they are not mind readers.
For years now, I have seen a couple of regulars who know I am married... in my case very happily but after 36 years of it, and for many reasons, I choose to see the ladies for a bit more spice in my life. (IE: better BBBJ, more open sex, etc.)
Two pointers: On the phone - get a throwaway like such as a Tracephone (available at most large retail chains for about thirty bucks including a hour of air time - you can buy additional time with cash and add minutes to the phone.
Cash in small chunks... good idea, gradually increase amounts once you do start to hobby, you may find you like this so much the demand for more cash will be there.
Also good advise from above... slow down, think this out... plan, plan and plan.
