I agree with Zangari except for one thing. I never give a SB any money on the first date. I believe that if they are so uninterested in meeting me on their own dime then I don't want to get to know them anyway. Otherwise, I agree completely. Do not expect sex on the first date. It should be all about coffee and conversation so you can size each other up and decide if there's chemistry. I did that again quite recently, just last week in fact. She invited me to have a second date with her at which time we fucked each others brains out and of course I gave her the agreed upon gift. Excellent results, and I'll be visiting this hottie again. And maybe I've just been lucky, but so far all the SBs I've met have looked just like their posted pictures.
Or at least I know what I do, I turn around on a dime and walk away without leaving one thin dime.
But what do you do when a Sugar Babe turns out to be a Sugar Manatee?
I have had this happen to me a couple of times in the last couple of weeks. I can only speak for myself on this as I am a bit new to the Sugar Bowl as it exists today. What I have done is been pleasant, tried to make the best of it and either just never called again, or in the case of the last time simply said "You are nice, but I am not interested in pursuing an SB relationship with you" She didn't seem surprised at all and even offered to split the rather modest check with me, which gentleman that I am I refused.
Now what I have not done is to give one cent of "allowance" for any sex free dates, I was just wondering how many of you just walk out if a "fat broad" shows up instead of the hottie you were expecting? Or conversely if any of you BSU's give a catfish any money "for her time"???
Usually a top tier SB goes into a first date with one thing on her mind: to determine if you're a pervert or a gentleman. My success rate skyrocketed with the top-tier SBs once I stopped looking for first date sex. She'll contact you for Date #2 if she's interested, and then serious fucking is available. You're much better off with an SB like this--she's seeing far fewer people. But you'll need to curb the hobby impulse of instant gratification & first date fucking. And if you're offering zero for a first date, then you're probably not even meeting the top-tier SBs.
I agree with Zangari except for one thing. I never give a SB any money on the first date. I believe that if they are so uninterested in meeting me on their own dime then I don't want to get to know them anyway. Otherwise, I agree completely. Do not expect sex on the first date. It should be all about coffee and conversation so you can size each other up and decide if there's chemistry. I did that again quite recently, just last week in fact. She invited me to have a second date with her at which time we fucked each others brains out and of course I gave her the agreed upon gift. Excellent results, and I'll be visiting this hottie again. And maybe I've just been lucky, but so far all the SBs I've met have looked just like their posted pictures.
1. I may be seeing girls who are passing you over. As one former SB posted on this board: "SBs get many many, many e-mails from guys, 95 % of whom have no pics. Do I have time to meet 20 different guys for drinks, for free? No."
2. Top-tier SBs who ask for huge allowances may be tempted by a $100 date with no strings. A lot of these girls will settle for much less, but you have to get them to the table. The $100 offer gives you some authenticity--you're not a time waster.
3. That clean envelope with $100 makes the arrangement offer quite real. For a College SB who's new to the sugarbowl, she's getting a taste of real cash, not just a vague promise by a guy twice her age.
4. The downside: you stake $100 and lose. She pockets the cash & walks. That happens. But you need some confidence in your game--that you're willing to throw down cash to play. It's like Vegas. You have to stake something in order to win big. --
I don't go into a SB first date "expecting" or demanding sex, except for the obvious hooker ads. If she wants to meet at a hotel, she's a hooker. If she wants to come to your house, she's a hooker.
I do however seem to get a lot of "first date sex" especially if the first date is a dinner date, not lunch or coffee. I don't expect it, I certainly don't demand it, but I have had a LOT of success on first dates, many of the times having sex before we were even clear on an allowance expectation. What ever I am doing on these first dates, I have NO intentions of changing, because it is apparently working.
As for offering a "taste of sugar" on a first date, I usually don't even mention it before a first date, but I am very clear that this is an "arrangement" and that I have no problem providing sugar. I have not to date offered any money "just to meet" but there are a couple of VERY attractive women in my area whose inboxes just have to be jam packed, I may try your approach on a couple of those women, as you say the worst that can happen is that I am out a hundred bucks.
Now all that said, how about we get back to my actual question, what do you do when you do get "catfished"??? Just like NCNS in the hooker world, no matter how careful you are, if you have enough dates it's going to eventually happen to all of us. So, do you, go through with the date? Turn around and walk? Have a quick drink and call it a night? Give her money for "her time, even though she lied to you?
Speaking for myself, it's happened to me twice recently. Luck of the draw and I am certainly not "whining" about it. Both times I have gone through with the date, believe it or not from my board rep, I get no pleasure out of hurting anyone's feelings and I can't bring myself to tell a non hooker who is not trying to scam me out of money that she is "fat or ugly" I do make it quite clear that we can not be anything more than friends, that no money is ever going to be exchanged, and I will at least hint strongly that the reason is a lack of attraction, or "not my type"
I am a bit curious to see how other guys either handle it, or how they plan on handling it if and when it ever happens to them?
Ok, let's reset. Since you paid her nothing for that first date, your loss = dinner + drinks. So far, you've been a gentleman in this scenario. You paid the bill & took the hit. My advice is to keep doing that. You're always going to have to deal with this issue, even if you're on a dating site. A friend of mine is on OK-Cupid, and he runs into the same thing. Remember: some of these girls have hot friends who are also on the site. So take the hit & be a gentleman.
You're under NO obligation for anything more than what you originally agreed to--in your case, paying for that dinner date. Let's say you meet an SB & you're not interested in her. But she pursues an arrangement with you. Just say that you're still looking & aren't ready to commit to an arrangement. Since I pay for first dates, I always ask for recent pix. But I still get catfished sometimes. As long as it's not bait & switch (she's the girl in the pix, just older, heavier, etc.) I hold up my end. It comes with the territory. Good luck. --
and for the record, I agree, except I don't know if I would be so magnanimous if it were a "paid date" I suppose it's like you say, it depends on if she is a "bit" older and/or heavier or if she is twenty years older or thirty pounds heavier. If I were paying for the date, I might be tempted to treat her just like a B&S hooker in a case like that
You're right, we did sorta hijack the thread. So back on topic, I've never had a catfish experience yet. But I think it's worthwhile thinking about it in advance so I have some idea what to do if/when it does happen, so thanks for raising the question. I guess I'd just have dinner with her anyway, a man's gotta eat, right? But I'd very make it clear as gently and politely as possible that the arrangement is not going to go forward.
It happens on all the boards where someone asks a question that is designed to start a discussion and ends up getting a lot of unneeded, unwanted and irrelevant advice about non existent problems the responders "think" the poster may be having.
This thread did not go too far down that road, but I wanted to stop it before it went down that direction. I am hardly having "problems" being catfished, it's happened to me maybe ten percent of the time, my ego is plenty strong enough to be seen in public with a fattie and the last time it happened it gave me a segue to hit on the very hot bartender after "forgetting" my glasses in the restaurant. Unfortunately the bartender had a boyfriend, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I think a slightly deceitful SB deserves treatment less harsh than a hooker pulling a B&S as the only thing being wasted is my time and she is not trying to scam me out of money. I've been pretty clear on the other boards about how I handle B&S with hookers, and I am hardly a shrinking violet, but unless a woman is trying to scam me out of money, I just think it's a bit mean to call out a fat broad for being fat.
I'm still fairly new to the SB scene but if was catfished, I'd just play it cool and finish the meal as pleasantly as possible. I would not mention the future with her. If she were to ask about the future, I'd say something like "We'll see."
It might motivate her to hit the gym, or at least shit more and eat less.