We all know why we hobbyists are in this: intimate company of sexy women.  So obviously, hobbying helps with *that*.  But what else?  There are numerous things that need to happen before and after clothes are off, skin-to-skin contact happens, and body fluids are exchanged (meaning during DFK).  And each one requires a certain skill to accomplish.

1. CRITICAL THINKING
Reviews, as well as providers' advertising channels, are the heart of TER.  But not all are 100% true or accurate.  In order to get the best service with the best provider, you have to really read into it all, and look for red flags.  For example, is the review too glowing?  Sign of a white knight, perhaps.  Does the provider play fast and loose with screening?  Looks seductive (pardon the pun!) for the ease of it, but puts you in harm's way.  Is the writing sloppy, with bad grammar and spelling?  Sigh of someone not taking it seriously.  (Also a possible ESL speaker, in which case, no issue.)  The point is, to borrow a Russian proverb, "trust, but verify".  Regularly or occasionally picking out which provider to meet requires those "trust, but verify" skills, which are the basis of critical thinking.

2. UNDERSTANDING YOUR SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY
Let's face it: not all of us are alpha males that civvie women will jump all over.  I'll even admit that most providers I meet probably wouldn't give me more than a hug in the civvie world.  Dropping off The Envelope changes all that.  I pay fair and square, she delivers a service fair and square.  But given the intimate nature of the service, you simply *can't* take human element out of the equation.  So instead, you learn to work with it, or better yet, appreciate it.  For example, one provider may totally mesh with my DFK preferences, while another may simply be a good sport about what I like.  The inadvertently learned skill of knowing what meshes with you and who doesn't can easily carry over into civvie dating, especially for men who can't easily get civvie experiences.  So in the end, they learn to meet sexually compatible women, by being able to learn their preferences through trial and error.

3. ASSERTIVENESS TO REFUSE OR WALK AWAY
For men who have trouble meeting women, this can be difficult.  They have a tendency to develop what's known in the PUA (pick-up artist) community as "one-itis" --- fixation on one woman and his success with her.  So walking away when interacting with her is going nowhere doesn't feel like an option.  So the skill never gets developed.  But if you think about it, you're "paying for it" in civvie dating too, only it doesn't involve The Envelope.  So it's your right to walk away if things are going nowhere with someone.  ("Nowhere" doesn't have to be lack of sex; it can be simply not having fun with someone.)  However, in the hobby, we're taught to walk away from a session, cancel it before it even happens, or not schedule to begin with, if something doesn't sit well with us.  The whole act of saying "thanks, but no thanks!" is the same in the hobby and in the civvie world.  So it's not a big stretch of imagination to do it with a civvie.

4. TAKING CALCULATED RISKS AND BEING DISCREET
This is mostly about LE.  Outside of Nevada, we're taking a fairly big risk each time.  So we look for ways to minimize it.  We register with RS2K, P411, and D-C.  We read multiple reviews (see #1) to make sure the provider is legit.  We stay away from BP unless we're super-sure about a specific ad.  We walk quietly and assertively through hotel hallways to blend in.  We take a train if we want to avoid being seen driving to an incall.  We never mention illegal acts when talking to the provider on the phone.  And more.  All these things involve talking calculated risks and being discreet, and easily become a habit over time.  It's a good habit in general to apply outside the hobby, mostly in the civvie dating world, but also work and human interactions in general.  

Any other skills or other things being a hobbying helped you with?

A provider is welcome to start her own counterpart of this thread.

-- Modified on 12/28/2015 12:15:20 PM