TER General Board

Falling for a Provider...need advicesad_smile
LovesTooMuch 2831 reads
posted

Okay, so I'm not big into the game, and have only tried out a few girls in a few different cities.  Of which only 2 stand out.  Winter in Toronto and the unnamed woman who this post refers to.

This gal has got me all twisted.  I can't stop thinking about her to the point where it's starting to effect the rest of my life, especially my lack of feeling for my wife.  This all started as a surrogate for my wife's sexual hang ups.  Not emotion was supposed to be involved.  I know rationally that there there will probably be nothing more than a professional relationship, but I can't stop hoping in vein.

So my questions goes to Providers and Hobbiests.      Have you ever fallen for a Provider?
What did you do?
Did anyone ever end up with a Provider?
How did you move the relationship from a professional to a personal one?

Do you know when a hobbiest has fallen for you?
Does that make him more or less attractive to you?
Have you ever fallen for  a Hobbiest?

One for everyone, once the relationship has changed from professional to personal, how do both parties deal with the "profession" from there out?

Oh and one more for my own edification...what is the average age that a high end woman in high demand would retire?

Thanks!

Serial Monogamist2348 reads

I am totally in love with her for one hour at a time. It's wonderful!

It's like that Seinfeld episode.
Woo woo!   for an hour!

Oddly enough, I do not believe that any have fallen for me!  and that is ok, cause they are all good actors.  I have also had civie dates with some of my escort friends... and that is cool too....

For the most part, remember, providers are human beans... as are we.  Can they fall for us?  sure- why not?  There is absolutely no way to predict who will fall for whom... it is part of the human condition.

I would tell you that the experience of falling in lust is great... but remember - there is a bit of acting - and you are falling in love with a character that these gals play... one even told me that - and she was right.  Stay with a provider, in her real life, for an hour or two - and believe me, you will see a different person... one who has problems with ex's, bills, the mortgage, getting the kids to the hockey rink... etc.  if you still even want to be close to her, then you have a problem... but if you have only been with her when she is all dolled up, with the Victoria Secret outfit on, with no mention of the last tussle with her BF, or the fact that her kid's teacher has made a pass at her... well, you have not seen the "real person"!

and yea - people do end up with providers...  read this board... historically there are a lot of stories about that specific topic...

The Erotic Highway Board right now.

Basically it's all chemestry.

You just have to realize that and adjust your attitudes to it.

As a provider I allowed a hobbiest to get close to me and we spent 20 months together. It ended a month ago and now I have a 10 month old to raise alone. I have done it before so its not that big of a deal to me,I just never thought I would have to do it alone this time.

I can say that the time we were together was really awesome and I was very happy. As for personal being kept seperate from work well thats a little differant. I was in an open relationship. I mean how I can be with so many and ask him to only be with just me? Get the picture?

Since your married I would not recomend taking this provider into consideration when you think about leaving the wife. If you even thought about it at all that is. If your going to make such a huge lifestyl adjustment do it for the right reasons. Maybe a trial seperation. But in no way would I suggest you keep seeing this provider during that time. It seems you maybe need to try romancing the wife a little so you fall back in love with her if its possable.

My mother always told me that when you truely are in love with someone you fall in and out all the time but you still love them and they are always your best friend. Sometimes I think this has jaded my views a bit on any chance of an LTR for myself. I always base my own relationships on the quality of the friendship thats there and nothing else. CHemistry is very important in more ways then just the bedroom.

The other thing to condier is that old saying of its cheaper to keep her. So maybe try with the wife a little harder. Seek counseling to work thru those other issues that might be there. But just make sure that whatever you do choose to do is being done for the right reasons.

Far too many marriages end up in divorce because of sexual hangups on one side or the other. Its never easy but with a little effort you will get thru it somehow.

Be careful with providers. I wont say the one your talking about is doing this, but some will tell you what you want to hear to keep you happy for the time your there to see them. Its what their jobs are all about. Personally I see guys and tell them all sorts of things to keep them happy and coming back. Most of the time its the truth because I have an awesome bunch of regulars and I do actually care about them. But I have to be honest and say that once in a while what I say is a lie to make them feel better about themselves. I'm sorry if this causes me to loose business but I am honest if nothing else about some things and you seem to need to hear this right now. JUST BE CAREFUL.

Yes, indeed, Vegas Raven, you are an awesome woman. That's one heck of a post. The guy who gets you "for sure" will be a lucky guy.

Beautiful post Vegas, could not have said it any better!

Its tough to have a relationship with a hobbyist I mean some relationships work just look at Pretty Woman!

We all know that is a movie and it is fiction I am not saying it won't work but honestly it probably would work but it most defidenlty won't last.

Yours Truely,

A veterian provider

I have experienced the fall.


And

There is no act...not all providers act. Perhaps it has to do with my maturity and age..but the issues are not there. Let me say this..you can still be sexy and sensual and deal with day to day life. The other night my bf and I woke up at 4:30 am and I felt he deserved a BJ! We are going to enjoy life together...like there ain't no tomorrow!!


Because of my sensuality and my giving..YES I have had several gentlemen fall for me. It does affect our time together. I would prefer that they keep in mind what we are there for.

Now.....what happens when both the lady and the gent fall for eachother? I can tell you that I am living thru that as we speak.

How do we deal with the profession?

On a day to day basis.

Communication and trust.

My business has changed in that I take less appts.

I would rather be with HIM.

My level of service will never change.

WE are looking forward to a future together and my retirement.

I have enjoyed the last 2 years and look forward to all the O's in 07....but when I retire next year I will be happy to be HIS alone.

Good luck with your feelings. I hope you know what they truly are.

We do.

Being that we are both 50 and have lived full lifes we have a great understanding of what is important in life and EXACTLY what we are looking for.

I have been single since 97 and I knew what I wanted..it finally came and I am going to run with it!!

I have to say this..I WAS not looking for a relationship with a client.

I wasn't looking...but I had my eyes open!

xoxo

Sexy Carolina





-- Modified on 12/15/2006 2:49:50 PM

powerguy1208 reads

My girlfriend has a snoring remedy.

If she catches me snoring, she promises to wake me with a BJ.

I know for a fact that the other morning at 4:30 am I was not snoring!!!

Oh happy day.

Every Sexy day is wonderful - its like being in Happyland.

The man behind, on top of, beside, Sexy. You name it, I'm there.

Powerguy

but it's dirty pool to play with out undies.  :o)

But I MUST say....
I never wear panties!

In this biz..I will wear a thong for ya..

Any other time...and I don't care where I am..the gym or the school function...

Panty-free 4 Me!

Thanks Mr.Fisher

Happy Holidays

Sexy Carolina

I think I'm in love. I love all you ladies who have your act together and, Carolina, you surely have your act together. I wish you the best of luck, but you won't need it with your sense of humor and your attitude. May you never wear panties again after you retire. I just wish I could see you before then, so let me know if you tour back to NJ before then!

It has happened to me twice.   The first ended the way I thought it would, badly.  The second just happened but the more I think about it the more i realize it wouldn't work out.  Hobbying as we do, the little head can make the big head think things we know are not possible.  

Two questions to ask,
- Imagine every mundane thing you do with your wife on a daily basis.  Would you be happy doing them with this new woman?  Because sex aside, that's what life is.  
- Can you accept what she does for a living?  Or put it another way, how would you feel if you came home and said what a crappy day at the office you had while she said her day consisted of f*cking four different guys.  Some guys can deal with that, some can't, and some say they can until they actually deal with it.  

It's great to imagine what might be, but the reality is it is a provider's job to make us feel like kings.  You could declare you feelings to her and see what happens.  But I'd think long and hard about it before you do anything.  

BTW, check out the Erotic Highway forum, the LoveGoddess gets this question on almost a monthly basis.

The best part about LOVE is the real life....the simple things...the chores..like I already told my boyfriend..you just wait for housekeeping day..Oh what fun!

Me and my maid outfit and him with his tool belt!

What will the neighbors think?

Believe me..I guess my life was mundane at one point..I was married to the wrong person! And I did something about it.
We all make choices..anyone that lives such a mundane life needs to make some changes.
I could talk about this forever but my boyfriend and I want to go to the state park for a walk and enjoy each other and the lovely weather.

I wish for all of you MORE smiles and HAPPY endings!

Happy Me

Sexy Carolina





-- Modified on 12/16/2006 9:24:41 AM

Maybe mundane was not the best word to use, but that's what I meant for the original poster, imagine every day with the person you love doing the same things over and over.  People really in love wouldn't care or might enjoy it, as you do.  Others might not, and then they need to ask themselves are the really in love or lust?  Just my two cents.

On some level, I fall in love with each and every provider I see. It usually goes away when I see the next one.

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