Dear Caspianx,
I don't think there is a specific amount of time to wait for someone to 'become' monogamous. Remember, it's the person you are asking something from, not 'the relationship,' which in this sense becomes an abstract agreement between two individuals. If monogamy is important to you, you'll need to let the other party know. As to when you should ask the question - it depends on your level of comfort with the person. Note that I did not say "your level of desire" in this case. You can have tremendous attraction to a person and still not feel intimate or trusting enough to ask for a commitment. And, if the person has stated to you that s/he is not ready to make a commitment, it depends on what you want. If you are willing to wait, then wait. If not, then move on. As to how long you should wait...until it doesn't feel good waiting anymore.
On a personal level, I have found that people who state that they are not ready to make a commitment to monogamy rarely are, and that they do not change - at least not until the next prospect comes along.
I'm assuming you are a woman. Women tend to want exclusive pair-bonding much sooner than men in a relationship. Sometimes it's good to keep that in mind and not push...but when you start feeling uncomfortable, ask the question and then deal with your feelings, depending on the answer. If the man is young, yes, chances are he's not ready for "a commitment." At least not with you [as harsh and horrible as it may seem.] Men can be real oddballs. Some are like in the Roy Lichtenstein cartoon paintings; all of a sudden, there'll be a talk-bubble above their heads, saying "Oh wow, I forgot to get married!" And then they'll grab the first one that seems reasonably suitable. I've seen this behavior among guys pushing 45. It's like a stampede. But before then...sheesh...Ms. Right could have come along and it did matter one whit!
Good luck,
the Love Goddess
This is probably an all to common question but i was wondering how long is to long to wait for a managamous relationship? for example--let's say your in love with a wonderful guy/girl who treats you like a prince/princess and everything is top notch (i.e.sex, intellegence, enjoy spending time together, ect.)but the other person is just not ready to make the commitment.
If you meant magnanimous (i.e. generous), then that's what the ladies on this board are hoping for and you don't have to wait at all. If you meant monogamous (i.e. sexually active with only one person), you may have to wait a very, very long time, at least with these wonderful women. Maybe when you graduate from high school, you'll find a girl who'll be happy to be with you, and only you. In the meantime, work on your spelling and grammar (too many errors to list but here's a biggie: "you're in love" not "your in love"). By demonstrating your intelligence (i.e. that you're intelligent-see the difference?), maybe you'll impress one of your classmates.
Dear Caspianx,
I don't think there is a specific amount of time to wait for someone to 'become' monogamous. Remember, it's the person you are asking something from, not 'the relationship,' which in this sense becomes an abstract agreement between two individuals. If monogamy is important to you, you'll need to let the other party know. As to when you should ask the question - it depends on your level of comfort with the person. Note that I did not say "your level of desire" in this case. You can have tremendous attraction to a person and still not feel intimate or trusting enough to ask for a commitment. And, if the person has stated to you that s/he is not ready to make a commitment, it depends on what you want. If you are willing to wait, then wait. If not, then move on. As to how long you should wait...until it doesn't feel good waiting anymore.
On a personal level, I have found that people who state that they are not ready to make a commitment to monogamy rarely are, and that they do not change - at least not until the next prospect comes along.
I'm assuming you are a woman. Women tend to want exclusive pair-bonding much sooner than men in a relationship. Sometimes it's good to keep that in mind and not push...but when you start feeling uncomfortable, ask the question and then deal with your feelings, depending on the answer. If the man is young, yes, chances are he's not ready for "a commitment." At least not with you [as harsh and horrible as it may seem.] Men can be real oddballs. Some are like in the Roy Lichtenstein cartoon paintings; all of a sudden, there'll be a talk-bubble above their heads, saying "Oh wow, I forgot to get married!" And then they'll grab the first one that seems reasonably suitable. I've seen this behavior among guys pushing 45. It's like a stampede. But before then...sheesh...Ms. Right could have come along and it did matter one whit!
Good luck,
the Love Goddess