First of all, I used the word "probably". Very few things are known for sure. And the OP's topic was about sex, not about all of the other wonderful feelings and comforts that providers give us.
I don't, for one second, dispute the fact that ALL providers are human beings with good hearts and passionate feelings. Us gentlemen are extremely fortunate when we meet and spend time with someone who shows those qualities to us irregardless of their "compensation". Acts of kindness mean the most when no reciprocation is required, expected, or even possible. That is what I strive for, and do, and take pride in. Those are often given through personal sacrifice, selflessness, and without reward. Lastly, true intimacy is a great gift. And I don't mean sex. At some point in all of our lives, we will greatly need or appreciate someone who understands us and is there to comfort us during a difficult time.My wife and I celebrated our 40th Anniversary this week and everyone was asking what is the secret to such a long and happy marriage. I,of course, replied with the usual suggestions: love, mutual respect, and tolerance for each other's idiosyncrasies. What I really wanted to say though was TER and the wonderful providers who have helped me through the last 15 years.
My wife is a smart and good looking lady who has been a good partner and a loving mother. We had good times as she reached her sexual peak in her 20's. During our 30's we were less active and more involved with children and our individual careers. At 50 she lost all interest in sex and retired unilaterally from the bedroom.
At That point, through the magic go the internet, I discovered TER. We had been outsourcing many things in life already..
Don't want to clean house?- hire a cleaning service. Don't feel like cooking?- call for take out. Don't want to fuck?- call someone who does.. We now get along better than ever. It seems that there is much less reason to fight with someone on whom you are not dependent for sex. Of course there is a financial cost for this but it is far less than the cost of divorce and we are now both happy to pursue our own interests as long as I hobby discreetly.
In this late stage of my life I have discovered a joyful sexuality beyond anything I knew when I was younger. I am sincerely grateful to all the ladies who make themselves available to share this pleasure. You have saved my marriage.
Is your wife aware that you are outsourcing for sex?
My wife is a smart and good looking lady who has been a good partner and a loving mother. We had good times as she reached her sexual peak in her 20's. During our 30's we were less active and more involved with children and our individual careers. At 50 she lost all interest in sex and retired unilaterally from the bedroom.
At That point, through the magic go the internet, I discovered TER. We had been outsourcing many things in life already..
Don't want to clean house?- hire a cleaning service. Don't feel like cooking?- call for take out. Don't want to fuck?- call someone who does.. We now get along better than ever. It seems that there is much less reason to fight with someone on whom you are not dependent for sex. Of course there is a financial cost for this but it is far less than the cost of divorce and we are now both happy to pursue our own interests as long as I hobby discreetly.
In this late stage of my life I have discovered a joyful sexuality beyond anything I knew when I was younger. I am sincerely grateful to all the ladies who make themselves available to share this pleasure. You have saved my marriage.
I agree 100%.
A marriage is more then sex, is the standard message..... You can be friends and live with each other (or not live with each other all the time, in some cases) and be married.
Sex is only one part of a person's life and some are driven to sex more then others. 
wink-wink.
For the most part, if there is a financial, social and family benefit to being married then why mess it up over sex and sporadic intimacy?
I believe many more mature women may suspect their husband is 'outsourcing' but realize that they are better off just letting the guy go get his rocks off or enjoy other intimate times that they themselves really do not want to have to provide. They are no longer in the place where they have to use sex as a 'reward' for 'good behavior' because they have a financial and social structure that gives them security. Unless the guy is spending all their money on other ladies, there is not reason to move on. Besides, just because she doesn't have a sex drive, doesn't mean she doesn't love her husband!!!!
And in return, if the husband doesn't flaunt his 'outsourcing' in her face, she can 'pretend' that it is not happening and live happily ever after with her life long mate, reaping the benefits of their long union . (a mate that is calmer, less argumentative, and less on edge because his intimate needs are satisfied!
Another key to a long happy marriage is discretion!
My wife is a smart and good looking lady who has been a good partner and a loving mother. We had good times as she reached her sexual peak in her 20's. During our 30's we were less active and more involved with children and our individual careers. At 50 she lost all interest in sex and retired unilaterally from the bedroom.
At That point, through the magic go the internet, I discovered TER. We had been outsourcing many things in life already..
Don't want to clean house?- hire a cleaning service. Don't feel like cooking?- call for take out. Don't want to fuck?- call someone who does.. We now get along better than ever. It seems that there is much less reason to fight with someone on whom you are not dependent for sex. Of course there is a financial cost for this but it is far less than the cost of divorce and we are now both happy to pursue our own interests as long as I hobby discreetly.
In this late stage of my life I have discovered a joyful sexuality beyond anything I knew when I was younger. I am sincerely grateful to all the ladies who make themselves available to share this pleasure. You have saved my marriage.
At some point you realize you're an adult, and don't need to blab about everything. Besides, at the heart of good manners is kindness.
I think the best relationships are when each person allows the other his or her "own space". Especially when the two of you have been together for a long time (I would say 40 years qualifies).
You have to allow the other person to come and go without always asking "where have you been" or "what were you doing" in an accusatory tone. Nobody likes that attitude. Nobody wants to be tracked, or traced, or spied upon. (unless it's the government doing it, lol)
Every marriage has its own problems and issues. Understanding and dealing with them as best you can is the important thing. Often times, however, one may not totally approve of the solution, but that's life. That's called compromising. That's also part of any long marriage.
And if the wife does know about it, understands and accepts it? I suppose that would be called "unconditional" love. Anybody who gives that is pretty special, and anyone who receives it is pretty lucky.
I guess that sums up my own situation. My wife and I have been married for 44 years, love and share almost everything together and still have very hot sex regularly. But for me, after decades of sexual exclusivity, monogamy felt more like celibacy since I was not getting the variety in my sex life that I craved. When I discovered TER and the hobby, my life changed drastically for the better. I kept my wife informed from the outset, and now we get to talk about my dates together which turns us both on. She has even tried a few TER dates herself. Having this level of trust, understanding and acceptance from her must constitute unconditional love if anything does.
It's a marriage, she should be aware of what you are doing. Thats only fair.
My wife and I play with other couples. It is a joint decision and each has a veto.
Awareness can be present on many levels and some things are better left unsaid. Discretion and kindness are most important.
My wife is a smart and good looking lady who has been a good partner and a loving mother. We had good times as she reached her sexual peak in her 20's. During our 30's we were less active and more involved with children and our individual careers. At 50 she lost all interest in sex and retired unilaterally from the bedroom.
At That point, through the magic go the internet, I discovered TER. We had been outsourcing many things in life already..
Don't want to clean house?- hire a cleaning service. Don't feel like cooking?- call for take out. Don't want to fuck?- call someone who does.. We now get along better than ever. It seems that there is much less reason to fight with someone on whom you are not dependent for sex. Of course there is a financial cost for this but it is far less than the cost of divorce and we are now both happy to pursue our own interests as long as I hobby discreetly.
In this late stage of my life I have discovered a joyful sexuality beyond anything I knew when I was younger. I am sincerely grateful to all the ladies who make themselves available to share this pleasure. You have saved my marriage.
of every single thing that you do?
where do you draw the line?
is it ok to purchase a $15 item without asking/letting her know? how about a $150? how about a $1500? whats the limit?
is it ok to look at other girls and daydream? what about a hug? a kiss?
you are an adult and you draw your own lines.
also, i think you missed the last sentence of this happy SMILEY mans fourth paragraph.
xo
I said that on a recent GD thread and got blasted for it, since it couldn't possibly be true.
But some of us know it can and does happen.
providers probably don't really "save" marriages, they just make them more manageable. Or, in some cases, tolerable. I would hate to think that a long marriage would end unless "a provider comes to the rescue".
Marriage is a LOT, lot more than sex. However, us guys need and want that part of it. But that sometimes fades away, for whatever reason. Those reasons are vast and pretty much endless.....
When sex disappears, we all have to deal with it in our own way. And hopefully, that doesn't end something that has been wonderful for a long long time.
Thus, I'm sure that providers have given us something very important and needed, but missing, in our lives. And that doesn't have to save or end anything
And why do you think that this "saving" action was all about sex... or about sex at all?
Why is it when talking about providers there's only the focus on the sex, and not on providers as human beings who do acts of kindness for others not because they're paid to do it, but because they care?
Yes, marriage is a LOT more than sex. Ask someone who lived without it or intimacy of any kind for a few decades. And there's a lot more to what providers do for some of their clients than sex.
First of all, I used the word "probably". Very few things are known for sure. And the OP's topic was about sex, not about all of the other wonderful feelings and comforts that providers give us.
I don't, for one second, dispute the fact that ALL providers are human beings with good hearts and passionate feelings. Us gentlemen are extremely fortunate when we meet and spend time with someone who shows those qualities to us irregardless of their "compensation".
Acts of kindness mean the most when no reciprocation is required, expected, or even possible. That is what I strive for, and do, and take pride in. Those are often given through personal sacrifice, selflessness, and without reward.
Lastly, true intimacy is a great gift. And I don't mean sex. At some point in all of our lives, we will greatly need or appreciate someone who understands us and is there to comfort us during a difficult time.
My wife and I celebrated 53 anniversaries until the "death do us part" ended a marriage filled with loving and adventurous sex, mutual respect, honesty, friendship and freedom to pursue different interests as well as shared interests. This is something few people getting married now will experience. My wife and I had college friends who were married about the same time. There were 4 pairs who are still together or were parted by death of one or both. The longest is 60 years together.
I am now enjoying sex and friendship with several luscious ladies and without hurting or cheating anyone. Had I been born 30 years later, I doubt that I would have had the same marriage experience. Times change and so do social mores.
... to enjoy a long, happy life together with 53 years of loving and adventurous sex etc. If every marriage were like that, I think providers would see a huge downturn in business.
I think many, even most, younger married couples would love to have a marriage like you had. I know I'd love to have a marriage like that. I think my kids would all like marriages like that.
Someone who was greatly blessed as you were doesn't need to be so judgmental about those who are not as blessed, but are doing the best they can.
I agree that we were lucky as were several of our friends but I didn't mean to come across as "so judgmental." Perhaps you didn't read my last few words "Had I been born 30 years later, I doubt that I would have had the same marriage experience. Times change and so do social mores."
... hurting and cheating someone.
What you apparently fail to understand is that this is not just about differences in "social mores", but about situational differences.
Three questions only:
1 Where do you want me to be?
2. When?
3. What do you want me to have on
goes great with your username!
i wish some of the younger crowd would read this and learn from you.
this post made my day. and its 100% true.
guy doesn't feel like unclogging the toilet? call the plumber.
guy doesn't feel like changing the oil? off to the auto shop.
guy doesn't feel like going shopping? just take his credit card. 
hardy, har, har!
have a good day.
xox
Yes what a great post - perfect!! And the ladies never broke my balls
about the bathroom needing to be painted LOL
Smiley I always knew you were a great guy. Your post just confirmed it, yet again.
Madison
It would be great if we could all just be honest, but the price is too high for most men. Monogamy is a lie. You don't have to explain to a penguin he is monogamous. He just is. A lot of women shut down after menopause. Why would I want my husband to never feel those wonderful feelings again? Lovely post. Lovely sentiment and it makes me feel good about what I do.
Kisses,
Lily