I'm a provider and I can tell you right now, I take pride in my ability to be honest and to hopefully be so without hurting others feelings. Immaturity is honesty without thought, maturity is tactful honesty. Does that make sense?
Has it occurred to you that perhaps you ARE someone with whom a provider can enjoy herself? Or that perhaps you have great technique? I mean, honestly, there are only really about a handful of hobbyists who truly take the time to please the women of this hobby. I have no doubt they all believe they are going above and beyond, but either experience or longevity of their Significant Relationship prevents them from trying new tricks, so to speak. Please don't knock yourself, Yabe. The whole world is out there willing to put you down, don't reflect that onto yourself. It's rather possible that if these ladies are all saying this consistently, you have good technique, you're clean, you're good at doing your part, and they enjoyed themselves.
Trust me, I don't pay lip service. If I didn't particularly enjoy myself, I don't say, "Gee you sucked." But I may refrain from saying anything other than a cordial and kind thank you. If the gentleman was truly outstanding and an experience which blew me away, I will also say so.
So, Yabe, I think you just need to accept the fact that you're pleasant to be around! That you're probably attractive and good at being a gentlemen and if you're in an area with few providers, I bet you're also in an area with very few hobbyists, and we are all looking for an ATF who will repeat with us.
Love,
Andi Ryan
PS In terms of where to look, shoot me an email and let me know your location and I'll see what I can do. I've been around for three and a half years, I know ladies everywhere. [email protected]
For the LG, any providers and fellow hobbyists. So I'm new to this forgive me if the question seems naive. I've been with a handful of providers, yet to discover the vaunted "ATF" so often mentioned on this board. I have yet to have a repeat session. Almost without exception each provider has commented on how much they enjoyed themselves or remarked on my techniques. Perhaps I just want so much to believe I may be a little "better than most"? Ah hollow flattery and pride doth blind me so! Gents, is this a common practice among providers? In reference to my earlier statement, no repeats or ATFs. I'm in an area that doesn't have an abundance of providers, independent or otherwise. I'm guessing there are some very good ones here, but it's difficult to book with many of them. Any advice on how to stand out in an environments where quality providers are able to "pick and choose" as it were?
Well, this is a fun question. If a provider compliments you, and seems sincere, and you also enjoyed your session, that's a nice hint that a future repeat is in order. It would make good business sense from the provider's standpoint to throw out some compliments in order to make you a regular or a repeat. If you want to stand out, just treat her like a person and not like a receptical. Small gifts and tips are appreciated and remembered by the ladies, trust me on that. When you have an ATF #1 #2 #3, then you are doing something right. TBM
you must establish yourself as a "high quality" client.
The way to do that is to contact them (best by email, I've always found.) and tell them as much about yourself as you can (without being too verbose or sounding too full of yourself.) Start by giving them all the necessary personal info that they request on their site. (Read their site very carefully too, at least a few times, especially the FAQ's.) I have never found this to miss. Take great care in your spelling and grammar too. It counts!
I'm a provider and I can tell you right now, I take pride in my ability to be honest and to hopefully be so without hurting others feelings. Immaturity is honesty without thought, maturity is tactful honesty. Does that make sense?
Has it occurred to you that perhaps you ARE someone with whom a provider can enjoy herself? Or that perhaps you have great technique? I mean, honestly, there are only really about a handful of hobbyists who truly take the time to please the women of this hobby. I have no doubt they all believe they are going above and beyond, but either experience or longevity of their Significant Relationship prevents them from trying new tricks, so to speak. Please don't knock yourself, Yabe. The whole world is out there willing to put you down, don't reflect that onto yourself. It's rather possible that if these ladies are all saying this consistently, you have good technique, you're clean, you're good at doing your part, and they enjoyed themselves.
Trust me, I don't pay lip service. If I didn't particularly enjoy myself, I don't say, "Gee you sucked." But I may refrain from saying anything other than a cordial and kind thank you. If the gentleman was truly outstanding and an experience which blew me away, I will also say so.
So, Yabe, I think you just need to accept the fact that you're pleasant to be around! That you're probably attractive and good at being a gentlemen and if you're in an area with few providers, I bet you're also in an area with very few hobbyists, and we are all looking for an ATF who will repeat with us.
Love,
Andi Ryan
PS In terms of where to look, shoot me an email and let me know your location and I'll see what I can do. I've been around for three and a half years, I know ladies everywhere. [email protected]
mrfischer thanks for the feedback, sounds like excellend advice.
As to you warren, do you live such a black and white world that you can't consider the possibility a provider simply would not provide unsolicited feedback on sexual performance? Responses like yours make me wonder why individuals like you even bother to write them.
I believe the purpose of this board is intended to be constructive in its nature. My posting was simply a request for feedback from those with more experience than I in this arena.
If your intent in participating in this forum is to amuse yourself or assuage your own insecurities, might I suggest you seek your remedy elsewhere?
even if it's not genuine would you rather hear a negative comment from her? that's what I meant. Count your lucky stars and don't look a gift-horse in the mouth so to speak!
Warren, You'll have to forgive me as I see very little if any congruence between LG's response and yours. Might I suggest you avoid posting simplistic responses and say what you mean the first time? Thanks for your feedback.
of course it was false flattery. Just ask the guy before you. We will tell you whatever you want to hear, baby (after you put the $ on the dresser, of course).
Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to provide their point of view on my question! I'm inexperienced in the nuances of the hobby and want to maintain a healthy and realistic perspective. I think most of the responses provide excellent feedback.
Yabe, It a good idea to have reviews here on TER as well. That helps the quality ladies confirm who you are and if they read your reviews make a decision. I am not saying inflate reviews, just be honest as Andi suggests, and try and write well.
You can also have ladies who you have seen and who have reviews here submit your username to the White List. This helps other ladies confirm you are ok.
Though mrfisher says he thinks email is best, in my own experience, phone contact works best. That depends, of course, on the lady. Just be confident and respectful.
Very interesting post and very interesting responses, Yabe,
My question to you would be why it's so important what providers have to say about you at all, and why, if they have said something good, you tend to disbelieve them. I think your question says more about you than it does about providers. Yes, some may genuinely feel you are great...and some may "pad" your confidence a little bit..perhaps because they sense you are a freshly minted hobbyist and they want to make you feel more at ease? As to this being a common practice among providers, hmm...I'd say it may be a common practice among people in general, at least in the USA. We are a friendly bunch who are encouraging. We may overshoot sometimes, or overenthuse, but I think that's our nature. Everyone is selling something in America, whether it's a service, yourself as a person, or a concept. It's the American way. As a rule, we're friendly, open, enthusiastic and encouraging. Americans of both genders have been known to smile broadly and openly and much more frequently than Europeans of various nations. We're just so darn tootin' cheerful! And a good thing it is! So if you are wondering, take it with the same grain of salt as you would any other compliments. An optimist would forgo the grain completely, a pessimist would throw in a whole salt shaker. Perhaps you're in the middle?
As to the whole business of quality providers being able to "pick and choose," I guess some are so busy that maybe your emails simply get lost in the flow of information coming toward them. Some great quality providers do accept phone calls and respond to messages, so maybe try and see if that works. Then again, if you're not in a provider-dense area, you might have to wait for your turn.
Good advice from both hobbyists and providers the Love Goddess
Thanks for your input. It appears this question has elicited a discussion of a much broader scope than I had intended. So that's a good thing in my opinion. What am I looking for? Seriously just wanted to know if it was a common practice for providers to tell clients they are a good lay, whether they were or not. I believe the responses to the thread have provided great insight to the simple question and well beyond.
If the provider is good, she will compliment me in a way that's credible. Anyone who says she loves my washboard abs must have x-ray vision, since they're buried under a layer of middle aged paunch. I'm about 30-40 lbs overweight, so any compliment on my body (or in my staying power) won't be believed and would detract from the session. But I've had compliments on my hair and compliments on my tongue and I'm happy to hear them. I've heard similar from civies so I don't find them particularly false.
I believe you may suffer from a bout of low self esteem. I was in your shoes at one point in the early days of the hobby. Many girls would compliment me and I'd look at it that I was more of an average guy but would get compliments and kind of look at it as a form of false flattery as you call it.
If you're a guy who's kind, courteous and respectful, you stand out.
I read what you wrote and you're looking. Maybe you have high expectations and they are too high. You stated you're looking for the ATF and have not repeated yet. Sometimes you have to look at yourself and think, do I have such high expectations that it can't be met? In my experiences, I've had some great experiences when it was the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time seeing a girl. Other times, it was the first time and we both had a great time together. If you're looking for that elusive ATF, you may need to change your criteria of what you expect. By not repeating, you give a girl little chance to really get to know you. If your area is not a big town, I'm sure many of the girls do some type of networking so in seeing one girl, you can ask her if she knows a girl you're wanting to see. All you need to do is ask sometimes since word of mouth recommendations are very important. On the negative side, there may be a network established and you might possibly be on a black list. Doubtful but it might happen since it seems you can't get a call back from as you say, "many of them". OR these girls are just way too busy and not seeing new guys without a referral.
Tough to say what your situation is since your area's not mentioned.
Over the years, I've made friends with many girls and we've sat and chatted a while. Many of the girls have been very frank in saying that lots of guys out there are just not great when it comes to sex. You may think you're average but compared to many, you rise above since you have admitted you're new.
I've just thrown out some ideas that came to me after reading your post.
I've been married 20 years and do know you when Mrs. Luethor last told me I was sexy without laughing? NEVER!
As a matter of fact, do you know when Mrs. Luethor last told me I was sexy period? Yep, you guessed it: NEVER!
So one of my favorite parts of a session is when the lady says I'm sexy...or, outside a session, when they make a post about having seen me at M&G and wanting to touch me... I LOVE IT.
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That you're probably attractive and good at being a gentlemen and if you're in an area with few providers, I bet you're also in an area with very few hobbyists, and we are all looking for an ATF who will repeat with us. 
