Chicago

Would You Cheat On This Woman? - one nerd's reply
RollinRob 3 Reviews 1116 reads
posted

The title on the link was "Would you cheat on this woman?"

My response - feel free to print and retain the following cheat sheet for just such an emergency.

Generally, most relationships follow this time table - your mileage may vary.

Week 1: It's not technically cheating since we never, you know, actually did it.
Week 2: It's not cheating because I didn't know you wanted us to be exclusive yet, didn't want to be the one putting too much pressure on you, because you're too important to me. I only went there in the first place to get my mind off how much I've been thinking about you - look, I hate to sound nuts, it's only been a few weeks since we met but, this is nuts, I think - I KNOW I'm in love with you.
Week 3: It's not cheating, baby, it's a threesome.
Week 4: You've all met, right? Excellent, let's get the boundaries and safe words settled and get going, eh? No boundaries this way, left my watch and phone in the car and my safe word is Reptile, unless that's taken.
Week 5: It's not cheating if I'm driving, baby, you know that - it's a safety precaution, keeps us all alert.
Week 6: No, I didn't get any message - what's up?
Week 7: Are you kidding me? Look, here's three signed releases and a distribution contract with Vivid - it's my job, baby, that's all.
Week 8: I did what was necessary to ensure the safety of the hostages - what was I supposed to do? Blow my cover at the 11th hour with Blofeld right there, waiting for one hint of betrayal?
Week 9: Yeah, fine, whatever.
Week 10: Honey? Something's wrong with the lock and some asshole hung up a joke restraining order on the front - HEY, wait a sec!

I don't cheat because I do not believe in being with only one person... I tell them from jump I will be bored in about six months and they should not get all caught up because it will never happen. I have come to the realization that I am not cut out for relationships that require me to live with or even see someone more than two days a week. I love being alone... always have, but am selfish because I really only want a guy around on my time table, and then I want him to go away lol. Oh well... perfect side job for me as LR I guess.

Nothing is forever,
Always is a lie.
Never hope to bind me,
Never hope to try.
Question not my solace,
Never hope to know.
Take me as you find me,
Love, then let me go.

-- Modified on 5/18/2015 5:00:19 PM

Register Now!